321
top 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] robocall@lemmy.world 67 points 1 year ago

I guess cry profusely after sex because I never get any

[-] tourist@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

Same

Option may as well have been "lose an eyelash every time you get elected president of Uzbekistan"

[-] Mandarbmax@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago
[-] smotherlove@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

Jokes on you, I'm into that shit.

[-] TheWanderer@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Same! Virgins ASSEMBLE 💪

😭

[-] Slovene@feddit.nl 3 points 1 year ago

... at a brothel

[-] empireOfLove@lemmy.one 44 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Green

I can handle being the weird dude that takes super loud shits in public bathrooms. That'll just make people leave me alone.
I can't handle making my girlfriend feel like shit every time we're intimate. That would be debilitating to our relationship.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'd take *red, easy. I'd just explain that it's just a thing that happens once and I'd be set.

[-] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 year ago

also like.. many people already live with it lmao

the absolute state of people's digestive health

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

Whoops I meant red. I'd explain the crying thing to my wife once and be done with it.

[-] ratz30@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Green will quickly result in having no girlfriend though, unless you come up with some scheme to allow you to never poop in the same building as her.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

Or you explain it

[-] empireOfLove@lemmy.one 1 points 1 year ago

I don't mind a bit of construction work. Wouldn't be hard to tear down the drywall in the bathroom and pack the stud walls with Rockwool soundproofing insulation. And also swap the door out for a double-thickness solid core sound-deadening door with a sealing sweep. That's like a couple weekend's worth of work max.

Also she is an absolute saint and would probably be fine dealing with it to stay with me.

So seither i embaress myself everytime i shit or nothing happens?

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Embarrass? Dominate your dook dome. Yell with a nice, themly yell that says to everyone "that's a shit that's gonna take at least one flush"

[-] FUCKRedditMods@lemm.ee 23 points 1 year ago
[-] vivadanang@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

that's my superpower.

[-] abracaDavid@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

I already scream when I poop. It's not that big of a deal.

[-] Pistcow@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago

Wife in the other room: Are you ok!?

Me: Just prayin'

[-] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 year ago

ooAAAAAAAAAAA we're halfway there

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

livin on a prayer

[-] ThatOneDudeFromOhio@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Poop scream would be fun.

[-] Mr3Sepz@feddit.de 15 points 1 year ago

Green.

There are ways to dampen and quiet down the screaming.
Since you probably always poop alone, you can use external tools and no one will know.

So green can with experimenting and time lead to almost no side effects.

[-] MooseBoys@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Wait, you’re telling me poop screams aren’t normal?

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

That's just Tuesday for my cat

[-] chaotic_disorganizer@feddit.de 13 points 1 year ago

Red

Added bonus: I'll never cry.

[-] Obonga@feddit.de 3 points 1 year ago

Sometimes i wonder whether people are just joking or if there are really so many sex starved people out there.

[-] Anomalous_Llama@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

The absolute state of the people in this thread

[-] Slovene@feddit.nl 2 points 1 year ago

There's a lot of us. Extreme shyness and such. Doesn't matter how cute and handsome you are, if you're too chickenshit to go talk to the girl smiling at you from across the bar. It's also difficult to know if she's really into you, she could just be Canadian. :D And then you have all the incels whom I really don't understand. But they have a whole subreddit, if you wanna go take a dip in the cesspool.

[-] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago

I don't remember clicking those both buttons at the same time ... :|

[-] FlickeringScreens@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

What if I already do this?

[-] Klear@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Happy feast of Winter Veil!

[-] thefloweracidic@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Lol crying during sex can be cathartic

[-] Draedron@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 year ago

So I only need to do one of these anymore? Thats improvement

[-] Todesschnitzel@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago
[-] Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago
this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
321 points (93.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26656 readers
3443 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS