this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
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chapotraphouse

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[–] ThermonuclearEgg@hexbear.net 29 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Where's the option for tea? lenin-tea

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 19 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] shath@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] alexei_1917@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

You're specifically the British or English local party of whatever your tendency is, then. Tendency probably depends on whether you use individual mugs or a teapot, how you heat the water, and whether you use teabags or looseleaf, and if looseleaf, the exact way that you put it into the water and remove it from the steeped tea.

(Or, you're a modern Chinese commie, see the pics of Xi with two teacups in front of him. But I like the British party branch joke better. Took me longer to write.)

[–] MizuTama@hexbear.net 23 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Where is the option for 5 energy drinks and heart palpitations?

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 22 points 2 weeks ago

Welcome to the situationist international.

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 17 points 2 weeks ago

Oh no, that's anarcho-capitalist, you've come to the wrong club.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Where's the option for two scoops of shitty processed instant coffee? Black.

[–] glimmer_twin@hexbear.net 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 13 points 2 weeks ago

I need that damn drug or I want to kill everyone I see

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago

That would be Bonglerite

The worse it tastes the better

[–] glimmer_twin@hexbear.net 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Half of this stuff is burgerland crimes against humanity that in any sane country wouldn’t even be considered methods of coffee preparation

[–] Cysioland@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

burgerland crimes against humanity is when percolation

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[–] alexei_1917@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

You should see how Americans make tea. It's even worse.

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[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 13 points 2 weeks ago

i guess i gotta up my bunker building vivian-shrug

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

The moka pot being leftcom is very accurate considering how many insufferable leftcoms there are in Italy.

[–] Arahnya@hexbear.net 13 points 2 weeks ago

Instant coffee equal parts sugar and water, whipped into a thick foam and served into a hot liquid with powdered non dairy cream. So, prison abolitionist.

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

laughs maniacally in instant coffee

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago

They had a sale on Beanie's at the HomeGoods

How could I say no to coffee that tastes like smores?

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I have a normal drip coffee machine (ML) but it's a goofy one with an internal karaffe so it looks like a keurig (Trot)

Feel free to invent a new tendency

[–] alexei_1917@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

Feel free to invent a new tendency

Like the Trots keep doing? (Party splits)

Or... Trot pretending to be a proper ML... I've run into a few of those. Most Trots are proud of being Trots (they shouldn't be, but at least it makes 'em easy to spot and ignore), but there's a few weirdos out there...

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[–] DengistDonnieDarko@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I would defend my good friend Mr Coffee to the death. I also whisper secrets to it in the middle of the night, just in case the CPC truly is spying on me through it's hot plate.

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[–] Packet@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Real marxists dump coffee grounds into their mouth, grind them to fine dust using their bare teeth(trained using capital), and then pouring the hot water into their mouth, boiled from a white maoist anger. They then let the mixture sit for exactly 10 paragraphs of theory reading and spewing it out, drink from a cup they stole from a liberal

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[–] HonestMistake_@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What even are all these bougie contraptions

[–] fox@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

Drip machine, espresso machine, star trek replicator, v60, chemex, moka pot, Nespresso machine, French press. There's a billion ways to extract coffee (beverage) from coffee (bean) and this is some of the more popular ones, plus replicators which I imagine skip the extraction step.

[–] mathemachristian@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] WoodScientist@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago

What if I make my coffee in an offbrand Keurig-style pod brewer, but instead of buying pods, I use refillable pod inserts?

It's got to be something weird. Wait, goddamnit, am I Juche?

[–] lil_tank@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

How you doin fellow liberals

[–] iByteABit@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago

Deep inside I knew I was a filthy LIB

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago

I wake up every morning with a cool glass of water, poured over the unquenchable insurrectionary fire in my belly.

this creates the steam which billows from my ears as I read the morning's emails from management.

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What would an aeropress be?

[–] Chana@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
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[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

Cheap Instant coffee kitty-cri

[–] TommyBeans@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

Instant is never on these, that must make me a lib

[–] CommunistBear@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Where does energy drinks and caffeine pills come in?

[–] Chana@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

Lone wolf adventurist

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[–] shath@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago

mmmmmm chemex

[–] Cowbee@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

Funny enough, I did used to be a V60 person, and I did used to be an anarchist, haha. Though I'm ML now and there are no lever/manual espresso machines listed up there, so it doesn't match anymore. Looks like the aeropress is also missing, that's another big one.

Damn I suppose it does. I have the cheapest $10 drip coffee machine I’ve been using since Covid.

[–] Cysioland@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Assuming the posadist option is a superautomatic machine then I'm anarchoposadist then

[–] Blakey@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Looks like a replicator from star trek to me.

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[–] Antiwork@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

Obama-Maoist

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