Where's the option for tea? 
this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
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chapotraphouse
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That's monarchism 
or worse, colonialism
You're specifically the British or English local party of whatever your tendency is, then. Tendency probably depends on whether you use individual mugs or a teapot, how you heat the water, and whether you use teabags or looseleaf, and if looseleaf, the exact way that you put it into the water and remove it from the steeped tea.
(Or, you're a modern Chinese commie, see the pics of Xi with two teacups in front of him. But I like the British party branch joke better. Took me longer to write.)
Real marxists dump coffee grounds into their mouth, grind them to fine dust using their bare teeth(trained using capital), and then pouring the hot water into their mouth, boiled from a white maoist anger. They then let the mixture sit for exactly 10 paragraphs of theory reading and spewing it out, drink from a cup they stole from a liberal
exactly 10 paragraphs of theory reading
I'd probably have to up that to properly time a cup of coffee... my mum says I read too fast.
Where is the option for 5 energy drinks and heart palpitations?
Welcome to the situationist international.
Oh no, that's anarcho-capitalist, you've come to the wrong club.
Instant coffee equal parts sugar and water, whipped into a thick foam and served into a hot liquid with powdered non dairy cream. So, prison abolitionist.
I wake up every morning with a cool glass of water, poured over the unquenchable insurrectionary fire in my belly.
this creates the steam which billows from my ears as I read the morning's emails from management.
Where's the option for two scoops of shitty processed instant coffee? Black.
A woman of taste, I see 
I need that damn drug or I want to kill everyone I see
Scoops? Are you some kind of bourgeois spoon-owner?
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What would an aeropress be?
Liberal
Never. The espresso machine is already liberal + it's a huge mechanism that actually only trickles down to a tiny few, carefully proportioned.
How you doin fellow liberals
No fellow hoxhaists?
My cat, Leon Trotsky, knocked by French Press off the counter, so I'm back to instant.
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What even are all these bougie contraptions
Drip machine, espresso machine, star trek replicator, v60, chemex, moka pot, Nespresso machine, French press. There's a billion ways to extract coffee (beverage) from coffee (bean) and this is some of the more popular ones, plus replicators which I imagine skip the extraction step.
Where does energy drinks and caffeine pills come in?
Lone wolf adventurist
Tankie. Chocolate coat you caffeine pills and you are a nazi though so be careful
Half of this stuff is burgerland crimes against humanity that in any sane country wouldn’t even be considered methods of coffee preparation
I have a normal drip coffee machine (ML) but it's a goofy one with an internal karaffe so it looks like a keurig (Trot)
Feel free to invent a new tendency
sounds Marcyite to me
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The moka pot being leftcom is very accurate considering how many insufferable leftcoms there are in Italy.
i guess i gotta up my bunker building 
Deep inside I knew I was a filthy 
What if I make my coffee in an offbrand Keurig-style pod brewer, but instead of buying pods, I use refillable pod inserts?
It's got to be something weird. Wait, goddamnit, am I Juche?
Instant is never on these, that must make me a lib
I would defend my good friend Mr Coffee to the death. I also whisper secrets to it in the middle of the night, just in case the CPC truly is spying on me through it's hot plate.
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I got this dope little appliance that makes espresso. You add whole beans to a hopper, and water to a tank. Every 6 shots or so you empty the 'pucks'. Otherwise you just push a button. I don't drink much coffee, but I love espresso drinks, and I'm lazy.
Super-automatic, I think the category is called.
I stopped drinking coffee after decades of ml coffeemaker-life, because my stomach can't take it anymore. Ngl the wastefullness of it always annoyed me so I would microwave the old coffee or drink it when it had burnt in the pan for hours.
Maybe my destroyed gi system is the enlightenment that comes to those who occupationally keep themselves awake with pots of coffee.
Cheap Instant coffee 
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