this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2025
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Ask Lemmy

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For example, today i nearly set my house on fire after forgetting a pan on the stove.

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[–] spirinolas@lemmy.world 28 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I had sex with a girl way out of my league. Usually I fuck down.

I See what you did there

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Wait, how is that a fuck up?

[–] piranhaconda@mander.xyz 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Play on words. They're saying that fucking someone lower on the 0-10 hotness scale is fucking DOWN, so fucking someone hotter is fucking UP (I don't really use that scale lol, just easiest way to describe it)

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

Ohh, now it's too obvious, thank you!

See, this is why I shouldn't be browsing Lemmy when I'm high as balls.

[–] randombullet@programming.dev 19 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I changed a native vlan on a switch. Took down an entire campus.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 4 points 6 days ago

Oh-ho-ho. Condolences, my net dude.

[–] Couldbealeotard@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] randombullet@programming.dev 4 points 6 days ago

Well. The management VLAN is within the trunk... So I had to walk out there and fix it via console cable.

[–] 0ops@lemm.ee 7 points 6 days ago

Username checks out

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Agreed to manage our clients AVD environment.

[–] piranhaconda@mander.xyz 7 points 6 days ago

Bumped into something sharp and it cut me. No biggie. Except for the part where I haven't self harmed in 3.5 years and it looks EXACTLY like something I would've done intentionally. Mildly triggering. I'll live though.

[–] Muffi@programming.dev 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Bought 2 bananas and 2 apples for work, but forgot to take the receipt. That small 2$ mistake, was apparently enough to make our "smart and automated" accounting system brick itself. Woups.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Just scribble "fuck you it's two dollars" on a napkin and scan that in.

I can see you on the hill
Comatose but walking still
Curves beneath your flowing gown
Only I could bring you down

Why do I keep fuckin' up?

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 78 points 1 week ago (6 children)

I wrote a long thoughtful reply to a heavily downvoted post only to find the post had been deleted before I could hit submit, and I hadn't copied the text.

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 49 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I bent over the sink to clean the drain and threw my back out three hours before I had to leave on a business trip.

Had to cancel the entire thing and spend the next day on my back.

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[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 43 points 1 week ago (7 children)

I was clearing some brush with a machete, 6 stitches in my shin.

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[–] dwemthy@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wrapped my 4yo in a big towel on the way back from the hotel pool and shortly after challenged him to a race to our room. He immediately tripped on the towel and hit his head because his arms were under the towel. Fortunately just got a bump and some rug burn on his forehead

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

Was worried for a sec that you were going to say you got back to your hotel only to realize it wasn't your 4yo. Would have been potentially traumatizing for everyone involved that noticed before you quietly returned the kid hoping no one else did notice and that your own kid didn't drown in the meantime.

[–] Shadow@lemmy.ca 37 points 1 week ago (12 children)

I ate too many blueberries yesterday and regret it today.

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[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 28 points 1 week ago (6 children)

I stepped on a garden millipede by accident 😭

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