Edit: of course this is satire. The power of the reading comprehension devil grows stronger every day π’
Not a strong example of walkable communities, it's quite pathetic in fact. Is this satire?
this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2025
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I think it has to be satire.
If it's not satire, America has apparently regressed to a median state of "mentally challenged".
I'm gonna have to keep saying this until it becomes common knowledge:
Yes.
You are basically correct, yes.
~30% of adult Americans are functionally illiterate, 2nd grade or worse reading/writing/vocabulary skills.
The mean, average American has between a 5th and 6th grade literacy level.
Despite the fact that almost 40% of US Adults have a Bachelor's Degree or better... less than 10% can critically compare and contrast multiple news articles about the same topic.
We are very, very stupid, compared to any country with anywhere near the same GDP per capita.
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More walkable than some places. At least there is a side walk.
Sidewalks and 15-25mph speed limits go a long way. Would be nice if there was little community stores for staples embedded in the neighborhood, but that's a foreign concept in American suburbs
I was just talking about this with my wife yesterday. It would be so nice if there was a small market in our suburban neighborhood
It isn't there because of zoning practices separating living areas from businesses, which is often decided at the local level. Just gotta convince all your neighbors that they should be good with it too....
Be sure to add side walks with it. My childhood neighborhood now has a little strip mall with some snack shops. They are nice, but no safe way to walk to it. Short walk, but still.
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Every community is walkable if you walk enough.
Sidewalks would be neat though.
No kidding. I was on a bike ride yesterday through some areas where entire subdivisions, in fairly medium/high class neighbourhoods, had no sidewalks. Retired folks were taking their nightly stroll on the side of the road. I guess kids don't get to play outside there, either.
When I was a kid, we played in the street. I remember one time it was 3rd and short. We had a play that was maybe 20 yards from the endzone. Play started, I got passed the ball, I dodged 3 kids, got passed them, and I was CLEARLY going to get to the endzone. But then the ref (one of the kids parents) yelled "CAR!"
And yes, a car WAS coming, very slowly, from way down the street. We could have easily finished the play, but CAR was yelled, which means all play stops. The ongoing play is ruled dead, and we re-do the play from whatever conditions we started the play on. In this case 3rd and short.
What would have been a touchdown, was ruled dead because some granny was driving 5mph from like 400 yards down the street. WE ALL KNEW IT WAS A TOUCHDOWN PLAY!!! I MADE AN AMAZING RUN!!!
But, those were the rules to keep the kids safe as we played in the street. Yes, I AM 41 years old, and still mad at some boomer from when I was like 7 years old. THAT PLAY WAS ALL MINE!!!!
Anyways, we eventually scored, like 5 plays later, but still. I had my amazing run taken away.
So back to your comment, yes, kids used to play in the street all the time. Not sure if they do now. Probably too distracted on their cell phones and tablets.
You know I was watching an MLB game the other week, and I saw the camera cut to one of the Astros outfielders, just standing in the outfield between plays, on his cell phone? THE ASTROS!!! I don't have proof, but I BET YOU they were cheating. Seriously! Who pulls out an iPhone during a baseball game and checks their emails?? I thought it was flat out illegal. If it's not, it SHOULD BE!!!
Yes, I got sidetracked here. So what? I'm making conversation about THOSE CHEATING ASTROS!!! The 2017 World Series will always be vacant in my mind. Every player, coach, owner, hot dog vendor, everybody! They should all have been lifetime banned from baseball! But here we are. Eight years later. Many of them still involved with the game. Still celebrating the 2017 World Series as if they deserved it. That should have been retroactively stripped from them.
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Walking down highways is not advisable
Which is why racists love putting highways through minority neighborhoods.
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hi European here!
what the fuck?
i'm here complaining how it's hard to walk to a big shopping mall or an ikea and you're out there without even a small grocery store around most corners? how do you lot do that? i'd seriously just starve to death if i couldn't get up, walk for 5min, and buy food for a whole meal (or a frozen pizza)
We drive
Everywhere
In a way that can't really be described to Europeans. If you live in a suburban area, people think you're weird if you do anything other than use your car to get anywhere for any reason. Almost everywhere in the US is designed around the idea that you have a car and you use it every day.
This is about my city:
And it's absolutely true. Our buses are mostly useful for driving to a Park & Ride/Transit Center and then to work and back. That's about it.
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This does exist in major US cities, especially the older (by US standards) ones. I'm in San Francisco, in a "good" neighborhood, and restaurants, groceries, bars, and multiple forms of public transit are all a short walk away. This is very different in car centric suburbs/cities though.
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I live in the EU but used to live in the US. In a nice part, too!
I lived like 400m from a small store. Never drove once. Insanely dangerous to walk on such a busy road with no sidewalks, no crossings, etc.
I walk a ton and bike ~80-100km/week now and don't think twice about it.
They all want to live in a detached single home (is that how you call it?), so not enough density for a store to make profit. Glad I don't live there tbh.
Single family home is the common term here.
I'm starting to think I need one myself because Americans are generally such loud fucking wankers that you need both a detached house and yards to get any peace.
Another thing is that the US is so car brained that nearly all attached homes (even townhouses in the city) have a garage somewhere. In my current condo, there's alleyways with garages that face each other. The amount of fucking noise coming from the garage alleys make it impossible to sleep for lighter sleepers.
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Too many people dont recognize satire.
Considering reality do you blame them? This is hardly satire, just sarcastic pointing out (US) reality.
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This has clearly got to be satire, but the issue with "walkable communities" is the zoning. You need commerce close to those houses - a coffee shop, a bakery, small supermarket, dry cleaner, small doctor's office, a couple of restaurants, etc.
Not a huge strip of stores, just a few every other block.
Ditch the school buses, and instead create actual bus routes that the kids, but also everyone else, can hop on and off to get around.
100% satire or comedy. 3.7 miles is not "walkable". That's 7.4 miles round trip. 2-3 hours of walking.
I presume US schools have to buy/rent busses and pay bus drivers? Specifically to drive kids to/from school?
Instead of the council (or whatever) subsidising routes that connect new builds to schools, and giving under 16s free bus travel.
Yes, in the smaller cities and towns where things tend to be more spread out. The is not reliable public transportation.
Big cities like NYC and LA don't normally bus children to school. They are usually close to the school and can walk or take public transit.
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Ah yes, they can walk to (checks notes) a gas station. Makes sense.
I believe he might be doing a comedy
To be fair, it has my next pack of smokes, beef jerky and beers, not just gas.
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America is such a living hell that like I don't even want to participate in a revolution. It's just going to be a libturd or right-wing-hog revolution anyways. I really think a lot of my social ills, anxiety and depression just comes from the world I live in. I truly believe I am a product of my environment. I would leave the United States in a heartbeat with just the clothes on my back. The only time I've ever been happy is when I was able to commute on my bicycle. Ever since COVID, people have been driving like fucking jackasses. And now I live in an area that I can't ride my bike no more. I have never been so depressed in my whole fucking miserable life. Like a scientist, I want to see if it's me or my environment. I think America causes physical and mental illness. I sometimes think if it were up to me and I wasn't allowed to leave the United States, but I could die in a nuclear explosion and just completely wipe off USA from the face of the earth. I say to myself, I would push that fucking button for future generations, for the world. The world is capitalistic and the Yankee has a lot of leverage, a lot of places in Europe start adopting the Yankee way. It terrifies me, knowing that American culture like the disease that it is Spreads like a plus-filled rash. I am very unhappy. These feelings compile over time. And you're in such agony. You try to figure out why. And then eventually it clicks. America is a piece of shit.
You can move out of America, try. Iβm an American living abroad for decades now, and left with nearly zero cash and made a great life abroad.
Plot twist though, everywhere still has problems, just different ones, and the USβ bullcrap affects everyone everywhere including you no matter where you are. (Have why I still care and pay attention to it).
On the subject of this post, I live in a super walkable city, Shanghai, and do everything by bike (amazing, world class bike lanes), walking, subway, taxi, bus etc. and donβt have or need a car, itβs awesome.
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Only a couple of hours to get a snack! You'll burn off the calories as you get home!
When I played The Sims 2, the first thing I'd do is create a small public lot where everyone could get all their needs met and buy food and a cell phone (since starting characters didn't have one). There were some oddities, since Sims get dirty quickly, I'd replace sinks with showers, and would make sure coffee was available everywhere.
Eventually, sims could walk from their home, rather than investing in a garage and a car or taking a cab.
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I'm not sure if this Mason guy is being serious or not
Ok. I live in a car centric city but never have lived where I couldn't walk to a corner store. Even out in the suburbs when I was a kid, we could walk to the store, the library too.
Not to say there aren't house farms in the exurbs, ringed by impossibly wide and fast roads. But it's not so prevalent that you can't avoid it.
I agree on zoning - there's an empty lot a couple houses down, and another on the river, wouldn't it be nice if I could build a pub so people didn't drive to the bar? But truly, there are 3 gas stations/corner stores within a mile of our house, 4 barbershops, restaurants, 2 laundromats, a tattoo shop, a pharmacy, all without crossing any road with more than 2 lanes and 25mph speed limit. We just got a taqueria too, it's so good! I just want a neighborhood bar because I hate hate driving somewhere for a drink!
4 blocks is walkable distance. Build 20 houses then leave space for a park and a stores. It doesn't take a genius!
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And bring local pubs to America! Turn one of those shitty little McMansions into an Alehouse every eight square blocks and you've just solved drunk driving!
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Satire and on point.
Walking is alien to the vast majority of suburbanites and rural people. Walking ~6 miles round trip is a little over 2 hours at a modest pace.
Do American suburbs not have the concept of a "corner shop"? Somewhere you can grab some basics by walking there in 5 to 10 minutes?
No because theyβre quite literally illegal in most neighborhoods. This is starting to change but developers donβt want to do anything different or innovative so theyβre still rolling out the same moronic plans we have for the past however many decades.
They basically only exist in more urban areas, not suburbs. And, as someone else mentioned, they mostly sell garbage.
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