Sorry I'm not into bracelets

"Oh, you could only afford one watch?"

"So, you're both rich and stupid"

"Nice, but I kinda prefer the newer model from the spring catalogue. The subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark."

Woow, what does it do?

• It tells time.

Nothing else? So does my car.

"I don't get my happiness from material worth."

“What kinda mileage does it get?”

“Cool, I went to the bar with my friends last night. What did you do?”

“Can you get me some more water?”

Grabs machete
Thanks for showing me where to find it. /j

I think the really wealthy old-money people would never say such a thing. Because such a thing just wouldn't occur to them. And if someone said that to them, they'd just kind of smile and nod the same way they would to a toddler. Maybe say "Ah, yes, very good." So that's probably the best response.

But if I were writing a screenplay and had to come up with a one-liner I'd probably go with, "Just goes to show you can't buy class."

Yeah, but can your watch drive you to the store ?

“Common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone’s garden”

"I wouldn't want to paint a target on my back like that. Did you hear about Chesterwick's son getting kidnapped while backpacking in Burma?"

You gotta understand this proving your worth by buying ridiculously expensive shit and then bringing attention to it is an attitude of "new money"

Rich people who have been rich for generations will have the same time piece but they will not even think about it. It's granted to them, part of their life that they would never question. Like you putting on socks.

And that is the attitude that new money cannot understand. Hell that's kind of what the great gatsby is about, new money just not getting that the expensive shit is just more furniture.

So the most frustrating thing to this mindset is to treat it as no big deal, or even weird that they would bring it up which really it is

"You got ripped off"

"that's so sad"

But realistically probably nothing, someone like that isn't going to care enough about what you think to be affected by what you say.

"and i have a piece of cardboard thats worth more than your watch" whips out a charizard

"Didn't ask"

• Your clock stopped. (Looks at the clock)
• No it's still working.
• You are bald on tip of your head I saw it when you were looking at the clock.

get really really enthusiastically interested in the watch. ask for details seem super impressed. massage that wealthy ego to the point of basically a blow job. but then just like keep going. see how long you can keep the topic on that one specific watch. don't ever let him talk about anything that the watch means or about the dynamic he tried to establish.

optionally, loose interest and leave without ever having let anything be said that wasn't about the watch. this is how you weaponize autism against egotists.

Fool and his money.

What's my motivation? Is there a reason why I'm listening to Alec Baldwin brag about his watch? What's stopping me from simply walking away?

"Cool story bro. Needs more dragons."

Can your watch play Bad Apple?

Can your watch run Doom?

Can you install Arch on that watch?

...

... didn't think so 😛

You paid all that money for a watch that can't do ANY cool stuff? You utter loser 🤣 🤣 🤣

Last time I gave a fuck was when I were with your wife

When I was at school, the kids would say, "my dad's shed is bigger than your dad's shed". But that was a long time ago, and we each had a child's view of the world. Most of us grew up.

I have friends.

And I have the same watch, but paid $25 for it on a market in Cambodia.

"Hey what time is it? Im suppose to meet up with some friends later."

"and yet your dad still don't love you."

You still use a watch?

My car has an analog clock face too.

That's cool, but MY watch has a Tomagachi living in it.

That's quiet an expensive way to look cheap

"What's your point?"