"I don't have a car"

Woow, what does it do?

• It tells time.

Nothing else? So does my car.

"that's a lot of money for such an ugly watch."

"Ok?"

“Your watch cost more than £100?”

"You got ripped off"

A classic that always makes people like this angry is the good ole, "Anyways, [Something you are casually going to do today or did yesterday]- " and a hand wave to dismiss the statement.

It infuriates them lol

If you need to point out the watch and explain its value, you've already lost.

"Well, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you!"

"and i have a piece of cardboard thats worth more than your watch" whips out a charizard

Look of confusion "Does...does that make you happy?"

-or-

"Was it worth it?"

• Your clock stopped. (Looks at the clock)
• No it's still working.
• You are bald on tip of your head I saw it when you were looking at the clock.

"How fast does it do 0-60?"

You see this? This is called a "smart phone." Not only will this tell me the time like your watch, but it can also do a bunch of other things. I can look at pictures of raccoons wearing silly hats or I can use it to insult someone on the other side of the planet. It also cost a fraction of what your watch cost. I'm sorry to tell you this, but I think it should go and get your money back. It sounds like you've been scammed. As a matter of fact, let me give you my friend's phone number. He's an accountant, and I think he'll be able to help stop you from making stupid purchases in the future.

Does 0 to 60 in ONE minute! It's garbage.

Grabs machete
Thanks for showing me where to find it. /j

“Ok”

You still use a watch?

I have people who love me.

'nice watch!' then move in and quietly say "oh, hey, it looks like your barber missed a spot back there"

"I don't get my happiness from material worth."

"People with true value don’t need trinkets to convince others of their worth."

"Not everybody knows how to make the best use of their resources."

"Unless it has a button that stops time, you paid too much."

I feel like owning expensive stuff like that is non optional for the very rich. Those who answer things like "my phone already does that" do sound poor. They don't buy it because they need the time. They buy it because it looks nice and is expensive.

I think I would make a disgusted face and say something like "really? It doesn't look like it. What brand is it?"

"what?"

"I'm sorry I didn't catch that"

"one more time?"

"ok. thanks for letting me know."

Barf in his face.

“What kinda mileage does it get?”

“Cool, I went to the bar with my friends last night. What did you do?”

“Can you get me some more water?”

See this casio watch? Still more accurate than whatever the fuck watch you have

"good for you, little guy"

Fool and his money.

"I don't have the habit of looking at other people's watches. Thanks for pointing it out, I guess, I might have otherwise missed that detail entirely."

(Biz-bro mind cannot comprehend this)

And it tells the same time as a $5 Casio, but it's heavy and gaudy. I guess money can't buy taste.

Just smile non-genuinely and say "Sure."

The statement is to set them apart from from you and to display power. So you could go with something like,

"Shit, they still make you buy your uniform when you rich eh. Some things never change."

But more elegantly. Reassert that they are subject to others' power/approval and relate to them to assert that they're no different from you.

When I was at school, the kids would say, "my dad's shed is bigger than your dad's shed". But that was a long time ago, and we each had a child's view of the world. Most of us grew up.

"It's certainly a nice looking piece of jewelry"