this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
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Comic Strips

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 117 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Its shitposting all over the carpet. And you think thats cute?"

[–] toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago

now it's reposting it all over the place. honey, i think we should call the vet.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 80 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I would totally be happy being a robot's pet. I bet they'd give me a great gaming PC if I promised not to pee on the sofa.

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 77 points 1 week ago

Nah, my luck I end up adopted by some redneck robot, like the ones that build trucks or something, and I have to live chained to a tree, sleeping in an old tractor tire.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 49 points 1 week ago (1 children)

if I promised not to pee on the sofa.

There's always some over the top requirements!

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Well there are other ways to mark my territory, to be fair.

[–] pticrix@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 week ago

We didn't invent Cheetos stains for nothing. It's a strong marker.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Or more fun ways. Like cumming on the sofa.

[–] SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net 9 points 1 week ago

Found JD Vance’s Lemmy account!

[–] ThunderLegend@sh.itjust.works 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sometimes I get sad I have no one with this kind of humor and the language skills to share memes like this with.

[–] shplane@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

You can send them to me. I love this kinda stuff.

[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You gotta get that human a second human, they're so much easier to take care of when there's two of them! Make sure they're neutered though, don't want to take care of a litter!

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Also, don't mind the constant humping

[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Only if both humans consent! Otherwise you might need to separate them or keep a spray bottle handy to stop the behavior!

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

How would you know? It’s not like their thinking units have inter-robot wireless link modules. They just make cute sounds with their ingest cloacae. We really need to stop robotomorphising the humans, acting like they’re capable of such abstract concepts, and imposing our advanced moral systems on them. They have non-consensual interactions all the time, it’s in their nature.

[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] austinfloyd@ttrpg.network 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm hoping this is partly a Porno for Pyros reference.

[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 week ago
[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

My bots always try to get me to buy micro transactions and toxic radioactive herbal medicine from China.

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 week ago

I have started actively refusing games with microtransactions and it's great

[–] Droechai@lemm.ee 1 points 1 week ago

But that black salve seems so efficient in removing blemishes (by dissolving the top skin layers)

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 12 points 1 week ago

A human on a leash walks past another human on a leash. They lock eyes on their t-shirts.

"Team Jacob sucks!"
"No, Team Edward sucks harder!"
"Jacob sucks the most!"
"Edward was sucking before Jacob was even born!"
"Jacob sucks more in a single year than Edward sucks in several extended lifetimes!"
"Edward sucks full time though, whereas Jacob only sucks part-time!"
... etc

[–] match@pawb.social 9 points 1 week ago

I'm gonna get an upvote cat toy and wave it at the puppygirls

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] AngrySquirrel@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

Where do I sign up?

[–] RedStrider@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

moby from brainpop if he didn't have paint