this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] tourist@lemmy.world 203 points 1 week ago (3 children)

They didn't have any abbreviations ready for that sentence

[–] HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world 76 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

"So, what code do we put in for the insurance company?"

[–] piefood@piefed.social 185 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)
[–] Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Definitely awarded

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 10 points 1 week ago
[–] Wilco@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

This explains everything in 5 characters.

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[–] Gork@lemm.ee 30 points 1 week ago
[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 39 points 1 week ago

If the chief complaint is funny/fucked up enough, we won't abbreviate it

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago

FGT SPNR STK ON PNS

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 57 points 1 week ago (8 children)
[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 50 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't have a penis, but I for one was a total idiot at age 9.

[–] absentbird@lemm.ee 17 points 1 week ago

Not having a penis: the perfect counter to the fidgit spinner trap

[–] UltraMasculine@sopuli.xyz 39 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm much older than 9 and stuff gets stuck on my penis all the time.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 week ago

Check out Mr. Popular over here with his social life.

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Boys start playing with their weiners as soon as their hands can start grasping stuff. It's instinctual.

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's instinctual in that all babies explore their genitals as soon as they can start willfully moving their hands, yes. It's not just boys having a special connection to their genitalia.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah, but we make it our personality!

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] dumbass@leminal.space 3 points 1 week ago

Nawww you miss your opportunity to call someone a dumbass and get away with it... dumbass.

[–] tomi000@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I dont think 15yo penises fit into fidget spinners, but Im not an expert on child genitalia.

[–] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 69 points 1 week ago

I'll ask my priest.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 18 points 1 week ago

It really depends on both the size of the fidget spinner and the will of the child.

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[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

My wife texted me the other day:

You know that yellow slide our son carries around? Well, he started sticking his penis in it, you have to talk to him now.

He's 4. It's just what boys do.

[–] GoodLuckToFriends@lemmy.today 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah, children play with their genitals far more than I ever wanted to believe. I don't really remember doing it as a kid, but it wouldn't surprise me if most parents, including mine, have stories about the odd things that happen.

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Not just boys. Girls explore and test boundaries with their genitals too.

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[–] dumbass@leminal.space 5 points 1 week ago

You gotta start somewhere.

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[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago (2 children)

15 mins at the swimming pool is cheaper than ER

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[–] toofpic@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago

The ultimate Helicopter Dick.

[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Right foot penis, abdomen penis, back penis, fidgit spinner.. still spinning!

[–] PapstJL4U@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

That's why you explain what the helicopter really is...

[–] HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

Directions unclear

[–] dechnically@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

he's literally me

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Like it didn't happen to everybody at some point.

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] GoodLuckToFriends@lemmy.today 3 points 1 week ago

I would have to wonder if there were any nurses/doctors that found themselves spinning a fidget spinner later that day. Maybe they knew where it came from... maybe they didn't.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I've seen some different sizes of fidget spinners, but no way is anyone that small lol

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 24 points 1 week ago (4 children)
[–] Zidane@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

We all know boys don't grow dick and balls until puberty

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I mean, as someone who was once 9 (and I'm not lacking but I'm not that gifted either), still idk about this. They used skateboard bearings, like bones reds but cheaper (if you wanna make that shit fly, throw some swiss ceramics in there). I never fidget spun because I'm old but I skated so I recognized them instantly. Maybe if the bearing was popped out, but no way anyone fits in a fidget spinner with the bearing in.

That axle hole is 8mm, the external diameter is still only 22mm, but maybe, if the wiener in question can squish down to roughly 23mm. Still hard to believe. Reds pictured for reference.

3621

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I’d guess if you were 9 years old and super flaccid you could kind of mush it through there.

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[–] ImmersiveMatthew@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Someone did not know that alcohol makes you soft.

[–] assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Yeah. Lets get the 9yo drunk

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It builds character, dammit!

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[–] KingBoo@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] nichtburningturtle@feddit.org 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's a 9 year old and some spinners have a hole on each side.

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