When washing your hands, water always is running into your sleeve.

Every meal you eat results in popcorn lodged in between your teeth regardless of what you eat

Every show you ever watch will be really interesting and engaging ending on a giant season 1 cliffhanger and will be canceled never having a followup episode.

Everybody's really nice, but they're super into virtuosic prog rock and won't shut up about it.

You always get ketchup water when applying ketchup, regardless if someone used it before you or if you've shaken the bottle.

Every fart is a gamble

The first circle of heck is for people who listen to media in public without headphones. They shall walk through life with lots of AV media available to them, but the soundtrack never matches the video.

The second circle of heck is for the people who take up two parking spaces. They are damned to a place where they all have shittier cars than everyone else forever.

The third circle of heck is for people who pull fire alarms as pranks. They may live their lives as normal, except sometimes a loud noise will happen and they will be taken outside the building and drowned with a fire hose for awhile. Forever.

The fourth circle of heck is for programmers who don't document their code. They will be stranded in a country whose language they have no way of learning.

The fifth circle of heck is for Toyota engineers. For the sin of putting the oil filter directly underneath the exhaust manifold, they shall have the skin of the back of their hands blowtorched off a few times a day, every day.

The sixth circle of heck is for the people who just can't get out of the way at the grocery store. All of the delicious food they could ever want is buried 5 miles deep, and they are equipped with oven mitts on their hands for digging.

The seventh circle of heck is for people who modify their cars to have loud exhausts, get a dog that barks at all hours of the day, etc. They live normal lives, but they can hear the Sun.

Nobody chews with their mouth closed, and you aren’t allowed to eat by yourself

Your pillow is always warm on both sides

Toasters either barely warm up the bread, or completely carbonize it.

You have to live with a dog that doesn't like pets / pats.

any time you're just about to fall asleep you have a 51% chance of hearing a mosquito fly past your ear

You can get used to anything. All of these suggestions that start with "everytime" will be changed to "sometimes." Because it's the hope that kills ya.

Everything glares and your eyes hurt. It also smells constantly of BO and is uncomfortably warm. There is a tinnitus drone on the edge of your hearing. Everyone mumbles. You constantly forget why you came into the room. Food all tastes of cardboard and your scalp itches most of the time. You get cramp in your hands and feet at inopportune times.

You are perpetually stuck at a 4 way stop sign and no one will go, as everyone is waving everyone else to go first.

You have to use AI as an intermediary to speak to anyone.

You can never understand what people say but immediately process it after asking "what?".

in heck you have to travel everywhere by car. and there’s always traffic.

just woke up and want to brush your teeth? that’s gonna be a 15 minute drive to the bathroom. watching tv and want to take a break to get a snack? 20 minute drive to the kitchen. want to go to the supermarket to pick up some more milk? 40 minute drive, round trip.

I think perhaps you could build an entire community around this premise.

My list, FWIW:

Sinks in public washrooms either don’t turn on when you put your hand under it, or only turns on when you pull your hands away.

The other lane always moves faster.

Everyone is always, always clearing their throats.

Every month, you have to give a large proportion of your income to someone who owns 40 houses and you have to go through them to get anything in the house fixed. Every time you attempt to do that, they will complain and potentially buy some white paint, even if it is a plumbing issue.

Whenever you talk, someone interrupts.

Lunchroom conversations are all politics, all the time.

You always finish your snacks while thinking there's one more handful.

Your sister-in-law is eternally staying for a few days.

They're never chocolate chips. They're always raisins.

You can never get rid of that last dribble of poo

• Windows update on boot
• Chewy scissors
• This site doesn't support Firefox

• Your pillow is always warm. But never enough to be comfortable.
• When you sweat, your skin feels too cool too quick but you keep sweating.
• You master power naps with falling asleep fast and waking up 20 minutes after. You're always left destructively groggy.
• Your sock's seam is just thick enough to brush against your toe.
• Your elbow feels like you need to crack it for relief. It. Just. Won't. Crack.
• You're an adult and act like it.
• You have a mildly odd feeling in your stomach at all times—sometimes it flares up and you're somewhat concerned you're going to be nauseated.
• You hear the waiters cackle, shortly after you told the one serving you "you, too." When you push your silly paranoia away, you see the group pointing your way and laughing again.
• No matter what you do, you simply cannot find the right way to sit or lie.

The soap dispenser is always nearly empty, but squirts just enough to be useful if you pump it a bunch.

The lid of the pickle jar in the back of the fridge will always be loose.

Coldplay on repeat with a scratched CD burner from a low 96k bitrate MP3.

You get papercuts way more often.

Also that little splinter gets under your nail way more often too.

The blanket is always in the wrong direction.

Your drinking water always tastes a bit off.

Your bank makes mistakes all the time.

Every time you begin to like an item it's mostly sold out.

Your social contacts forget what they said so they start anew often.

The weather forecasts are always way off.

When your glasses get fogged, they get fogged unevenly.

All your favorite games are there but now require a Microsoft account, and will ask you if you want to log in automatically everytime despite you checking the "don't ask me again" box. They'll also gradually keep asking for more personal information (phone number, second email address, age, address, fingerprint, face) and lock you out of your account everytime you refuse "to protect you".

Right as you get comfortable in bed, you can't remember whether you left something out of the fridge or started the dishwasher.

Your beer always has that weird metallic penny taste.