this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] BradleyUffner@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I've joked with coworkers that our entire job as programmers is to find ways to light up pixels on someone's screen in patterns that they find pleasing.

[–] Eyedust@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 day ago

Well. I mean. Both release dopamine for me anyway.

[–] lefaucet@slrpnk.net 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

In the engine I've worked on it's even less dramatic than deleting a row. It changing a single boolean from 1 to 0.

"Single bit state CHANGED!!!”

[–] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Honestly excel would be more exciting if the commentator from mortal kombat described my actions if I correctly use a function.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Exactly!! Do you know how much happier I'd be at work???

And can you imagine the outlook integration? If an email says "as per my previous email" you get the FATALITY soundbite when you hit send.

[–] LiveLM@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

DRAGGED A CELL BY ACCIDENT
RESET ALL THE FILTERS BY ACCIDENT
FLEW TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN AND MADE IT CRASH AGAIN, DIPSHIT

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 38 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Hah! Joke's on you, player! I pooled my game objects and you're endlessly killing the same bad guys with the same bullets over and over.

[–] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 45 points 2 days ago (3 children)

And spectator sports are watching people exercise and reading is staring at a tree while hallucinating

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 2 days ago

staring at a tree while hallucinating

Same with taking shrooms

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 days ago

Fantasising based on looking at ink blots on a butchered tree.

[–] Diurnambule@jlai.lu 6 points 2 days ago

Staring at a tree while hallucinating. I love this.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I've been working on a survival/RTS game and it's funny that even though the game development framework I'm using (Unity) tends to push you to put most of the code on the visual objects level and that was my original approach, over time I've figured out the whole code is way cleaner and works better (in other words, the best architeture for that software) when almost all of the game is really just a Data layer being manipulated by the player and a separated View layer for the players to visualized it in a nice way - basically a Model-View Controller Architecture, same as you'll find in systems were a server-side application has web and/or smart app UIs.

That said, I have the impression that something like an FPS is a lot less data-driven than an RTS because things like the 3D models that make up the world are a lot more important for data decisions (has the bullet hit an object, can the player move to this position). You can still say that stuff is data (3D models are data, specifically collections of vertices in 3D space with some additional information attached), but model data is generally way more visualization-oriented than what one could metaphorically call a "database".

[–] expr@programming.dev 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Admittedly I haven't worked on any games, but if I were to do so, I always believed ECS to be the way to go: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entity_component_system.

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[–] IceFoxX@lemm.ee 17 points 2 days ago

No, I'm not playing. In reality, I'm just bumping atoms in a galactic billiards game with the biggest chain reactions.

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 122 points 2 days ago (11 children)

The opposite actually - rows are dramatically added to a database. In most games save files grow the longer you play.

[–] jdeath@lemm.ee 46 points 2 days ago (10 children)

and even if some idiot put every zombie npc in a database (or if you want to think of it that way), you wouldn't just delete the rows! the bodies would disappear, so instead you would update that row like (npcState = KIL, bodyLocation = ) or something. Especially if you wanted to keep player stats

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago

Where was you when

[–] Saleh@feddit.org 21 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Isnt there this graveyard off map somewhere in Skyrim, where all the bodies get teleported?

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Why would that even be necessary? Sounds like one of those “make a guy with a train for a hat and run up and down this hall” moves they like to do

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 5 points 2 days ago

I wouldn't be surprised if it is true though. Bethesda games are not exactly winning awards for coding elegance.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Their code is literally spaghetti

[–] WillFord27@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

l-.. literally?

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Technically, the train was done by the Obsidian studio, not Bethesda per se, because of strict deadlines.

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[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

*Noita file save on the 7th parallel world intensifies*

[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

This is why Breathe of the Wild did the blood moon thing, periodically they'd just bring all the dead enemies back so file size didn't get too large.

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[–] _____@lemm.ee 28 points 2 days ago

Reductionism when "it isn't murder I just deleted your row from the national health government database"

[–] oneiros@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I don't remember it, because I am learning of this for the first time, which I am very glad to do. Thanks!

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 27 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 13 points 2 days ago

(rofl!)
Or you know, monetary & financial systems we humans trust in.

[–] TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 35 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Macrodata refinement in cold harbor

[–] don@lemm.ee 12 points 2 days ago

Kier, chosen one, Kier. Kier, brilliant one, Kier.

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[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

Pretty much them zombies would be in active memory

Incidentally, just decided my new band name, active memory zombies

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago

After hours of trial and error, I finally changed the integer on the BossKill parameter from 0 to 1!

[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I would play a database management roguelike.

[–] callouscomic@lemm.ee 4 points 2 days ago

Intensity comes from keeping up and fixing the bullshit your coworkers cause while attempting to build in idiot guardrails to stop further damage.

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[–] uservoid1@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago

I like to dramatically DELETE rows FROM slow_database

[–] almost1337@lemm.ee 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

ON ⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️ CASCADE;

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