this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
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chat

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Chat is a text only community for casual conversation, please keep shitposting to the absolute minimum. This is intended to be a separate space from c/chapotraphouse or the daily megathread. Chat does this by being a long-form community where topics will remain from day to day unlike the megathread, and it is distinct from c/chapotraphouse in that we ask you to engage in this community in a genuine way. Please keep shitposting, bits, and irony to a minimum.

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I'll go first: I'm not actually the famed reclusive author Thomas Pynchon.

I was actually Richard Hell from Television and The Voidoids, the whole time.

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[–] GayTuckerCarlson@hexbear.net 25 points 10 months ago
[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I've actually never met George Soros nor worked for him.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 13 points 10 months ago

unbelievable

[–] Gorb@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'm sorry you all had to find out this way but I'm straight

[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

Now that you're out, the plane's gonna right itself and we're all gonna live

[–] HelluvaBottomCarter@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

It was me Hexbear. John Kerry, Silver Legion, Veganism, Outdoor cats, moving stones, throwing batteries into the ocean, liberalsocialist.

I'm the author of all your pain.

[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago

My first and only celebrity crush was Elliot Page because I envied him for seemingly being a lesbian when I was still in denial.

But joke’s on me I guess.

[–] Aradina@lemmy.ml 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

See, now that you're out, the plane's gonna right itself and we're all gonna live.

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago

I'm actually Barron Trump

[–] DinosaurThussy@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago

You know how I’ve been advertising weight loss supplements and exercise equipment on my TikTok? Since the app’s getting banned I may as well share that I’ve actually been thin the whole time and I don’t use any of those products

12 hours later

Hahahaha what a funny joke I made, right guys?

[–] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

Ah great, now you're gonna go broke

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

How do I get my kids to stop dressing up as you?

[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

Encourage it

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I fucking love hololive and holostars

[–] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

Sometimes girls just wanna have fun

[–] kleeon@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I used to "ironically" be into vtubers but it has stopped being ironic a while ago

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

We should all become vtubers and open our own vtuber owned co-op agency as a bit but then it can eventually stop being a bit

[–] vegeta1@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago

Kakarot is a true saiyan warrior and sometimes bests me.

[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago

Bob Dole is posting from hell. Having to spend eternity on this liberal website is Bob Dole’s eternal punishment.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

I have a crush on the person reading this and want to smooch them

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I've never listened to cth and never intend to

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago

I listen to it out of habit at this point you're not missing much. They used to be a lot more funny

[–] radio_free_asgarthr@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

I am actually funded by the Norwegian sovereign wealth fund and Norway secular groups, unlike the other Radio Free outlets. That's why I am still working after the USAID defunding.

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

My name... It's not actually Karen. I also think you're all a bunch of cuties and have a crush on you. stalin-heart

I'm taken tho, sorry folks.

[–] ghosts@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

this account is actually four different people bureaucracy posting since before it was cool

[–] ghosts@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

Or maybe we just have multiple personalities crush

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm not actually a sentient Beaver

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

I'm also not a sentient beaver.

[–] DeathToBritain@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

one time I pissed in the megathread

[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago

All my best posts and comments were made on the can

[–] someone@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

I'm the one who ghosted you on grindr last week.

[–] RobnHood@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

I am BlackMoldFutures ex wife

[–] kleeon@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I like rewatching old episodes of south park

[–] propter_hog@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago
[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I had sex once after taking the volcel pledge

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

I don't actually think beanis is funny I just post it for internet points and validation

[–] adultswim_antifa@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

I've never liked Pokemon. Nothing about it appeals to me.

[–] rtstragedy@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

my gf encouraged me listen to rap music and now I like it

[–] CrookedSerpent@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 7 points 10 months ago
[–] Eldungeon2@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago

I'm very sorry 😔

[–] Grownbravy@hexbear.net 5 points 10 months ago

I am not a condiment sauce, not that there were any hints I would be. Figured I'd clear that up.

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago

I actually did start the fire. Contrary to the song lyrics

Ive gotten like 4 accounts banned from here for being stupid

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