At press time, Boebert also warned her constituents that she planned to vape the entire time.
That is an amazing ending.
"This isn't trashy enough to be a story about her."
gets to end
"There we go."
For real. That did it for me 😂
I didn't even realise this was the onion at first, thought it was an actual news article
The Onion has had to craft wildly ridiculous headlines to differentiate itself from the regular news, and sometimes it still seems questionable.
They’ve been on fire lately. Got me a few times too lol
You got onioned
"you ate the onion," in the parlance of our times.
Oh SHIT. Me too. I was like damn she is capable of doing something I like?!!? I was so conflicted! Thank goodness lol
(To be clear I'm not horny for her. I shop at a different market)
Man I hate to even joke about this but
I’m offended
She has that trashy trailer park look that I am ashamed to say is appealing. But im just so offended by her actions...
You mean the 1 really hot chick of the trailer park that made all the other girls look like nothing compared to her, but she was maybe like a 6 in the rest of the world?
If you've ever been to Rifle, Colorado, you'd realize your theory is close than you think. But I'd go 5, not 6...
FYI: Rifle is the unkempt armpit of the Western Slope.
Obligatory Flight of the Conchords:
Yeah
Looking 'round the room I can tell that you Are the most beautiful girl in the room In the whole wide room (ooh)
And when you're on the street Depending on the street I bet you are definitely in the top three
I'm just upset I don't live in Colorado. She sucks, but I bet she does it good.
The offer was for a handjob, actually.
Meh, well I'll take what I can get.
Do you think she could jerk off two people in one motion with one hand, if they were sorted by height accordingly? Can she use both hands?
Sorry for the potato quality but I think we've all had more than enough of his face in HD anyway
Probably have to adjust the mean jerk time for her
Gotta go middle-out. Or line them up tip to tip.
Just make sure each complementary pair has the same dick to floor distance
I mean, the new job isn't working out; might as well go back to the old one.
Give me a Bobert in the Expendables 4 theater lol
i thought turning Lewinsky into a verb was a bit unfair, but with Boebert im all for it
The difference is that she is, herself, a public political figure. Lewinsky was not.
Damn y'all is THIRSTY!
Guilty as charged. She's both terrible, and terribly sexy. I'm ashamed but nonetheless here we are.
She's morraly reprehensible, but if she wants to fiddle with my gristle stick I won't stop her.
God she's hot! I am into dumb MILFs.
She looks like a very selfish lover though. Probably licks it a couple times while making a face, and calls it a blowie.
She's not really my type, but, if she tried to jerk me off at Beetlejuice and tried to follow me back to my room and my wife allowed it and she weren't such a shit heel, I wouldn't kick her out.
(I do want to comment about the picture being the standard "porn orifice" thing. Someone spent time picking that frame)
You know, as someone without a penis, I just don't think I trust her to do a good enough job to get it done.
Say what you want about Boebert but any candidate that jerks me off has my vote. I'm just gonna lay that out there right now.
hello im dick cheney and your dick is the one i'll br chaining; i shot a man in the with a gun but i'll be shooting you with my [redacted] until i have another heart attack. oh btw we lost 1.9 trillion and we're not doing an audit
Gonna be honest Mr Cheney I don't think you've got what it takes to get me there, but you're welcome to try.
Like my mother always said, if she's willing to open with that you could probably negotiate your way up to a blowjob just by acting skeptical.
That was my mother's favorite saying too. Rest in peace, Mom.
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