this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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Blåhaj Lemmy is a Lemmy instance attached to blahaj.zone. This is a group for questions or discussions relevant to either instance.

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TL;DR - Lemmy's userbase compare to Reddit just feel more angry and it so offputting when asking a question and getting an answer that sound like their pissed off. Feels oddly worse than Reddit.

Honestly, I want to like Lemmy as I want to try not use Reddit as much. The thing that is holding me back is I hate the users on Lemmy which their often passive aggressive and really snarky. I know Reddit does have those people but I always seen more them on Lemmy where I barely used it as much.

I asked on AskLemmy community if there's any Gen-Z community around, ideally just talking about nostalgia and stuff like that. Nothing malicious at all. Then got a angry reply saying "Fuck Gen-what, just join community and post!" and telling me about generation are there to "divide" people. Apparently, me asking community which mainly be me talking about cartoon and games I grow up with is evil.

If the tone was at least "This may not matter as much and you find it better picking any community that in your best interest" then I'm be alright, it the way they seem pissed at me for even asking it like I'm an idiot which gets to me. When I told that person to calm down and stop being snarky, I got reply from other users saying they wasn't.

Might stick to Reddit for now. I know it not great but it in my experince isn't as easily pissed off and is actually bareable to scroll for awhile. I hate talking bad about Lemmy as I really want to like it but I just hate the userbase so much that it feels pointless to even properly use it as much.

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[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Honestly, I want to like Lemmy as I want to try not use Reddit as much. The thing that is holding me back is I hate the users on Lemmy which their often passive aggressive and really snarky

Funnily enough, these are exactly the same users who take a huge offence and make a drama with admins at the slightest jab addressed at them.

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

Well, thank you for feeling comfortable enough to vent your frustrations. Doing so has more meaning here on Lemmy than screaming into the void of Reddit, for what it's worth.

[–] d0ntpan1c@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's absolutely been worse here lately. I don't know that I'd call it worse than reddit, but Lemmy is definitely trending more toxic. I'm certainly not a heavy user by any means. Idk if the more reasonable voices have just become less active or if more toxic voices have arrived or what, but where as 6+ months ago things tended to be more discussion prone than antagonistic, it's now mostly antagonistic, especially in the more popular communities.

I will say, I've left many of the lemmy.ml communities in favor of similar communities on other servers and that's helped as far as making my feed of posts less toxic to boot (and less spammy).

I haven't done much of my own moderation in blocking so I'm running mostly based on the server moderation.

American election season with a userbase opinionated enough to leave Reddit on principle, as the world burns and the holders of the most important positions in it decided to start fiddling.

And then a fascist party won.

It's going to get spicy everywhere.

[–] starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

I think lemmy self-selects for passionate (and autistic/adhd) people, so either way you end up with those kind of responses. Lemmy.world is where all the redditors ended up, so if it happens a lot I would block that instance. Other people will say "this is totally wrong!!! but here's why" which maybe I'm just used to because I have a few autistic friends lol

I totally understand that. A lot of people here are arseholes.

I think my experience has gotten much better now that I have a long blocklist and am on an instance with downvotes disabled. But yeah it doesn’t feel super friendly all the time here.

But I feel the same way on reddit.

[–] NastyNative@mander.xyz 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Lemmy is full of echo chambers. People afraid to have a conversation with people with other opinions. A simple word will trigger them, its like you can all be wrong together.

[–] Blaze@feddit.org 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Sorry to hear.

I saw your post yesterday, I knew it was going to get negative reactions.

Maybe you can try more positive communities like !casualconversation@lemm.ee ?

There is a selection of communities here: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/20504960?scrollToComments=true

If that may help, someone told me I was an "energy vampire" today, so it seems like everyone will get a not so nice interaction every once in a while. I hope you'll stick around, but it not, all the best!

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

Well dang it! Here I thought me being tired all the time was just me being old as fuck!

You stop sucking me off, Colin!

[–] USSMojave@startrek.website 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Colin Robinson is the best character on WWDITS so that's a compliment really

[–] Blaze@feddit.org 1 points 1 week ago

It started with "they’re basically an energy vampire that just drags down the vibe of Lemmy with constant but what about or I don’t fully agree replies" so I'm sure it's not supposed to be as flattering as a comparison to Colin Robinson

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I asked a vegan what the word "carnist" was and got banned, lol. You're right, there's a lot of angry folk on here...and it's hilarious

[–] Blaze@feddit.org 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Bad example removed

There are some communities which expect people to lurk and learn the terminology before asking questions. Asking what carnist is on a vegan community can be considered as sealioning.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealioning

To show an example of of what vegans face, !carnivore@lemmy.world got locked as it was a community which was willing to dunk on vegans, which is against LW terms of service.

https://lemmy.world/post/24429479?scrollToComments=true

(For people actually interested in carnivore diet, ! carnivore@lemm.ee is a better community)

The fact that you find it hilarious shows you were not being there in good faith.

[–] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 0 points 1 week ago (5 children)

It's people like you who ruin it for people like OP

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[–] BCOVertigo@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think that your desire for a place where you can discuss the experiences unique to your generation is totally reasonable, and I'm sorry you've gotten backlash for asking how you can have the same thing others are enjoying. To me, there's obvious value in a Gen-Z community. Later generations too eventually.

My friends and life were already firmly established during the covid lockdown and I imagine that the younger you were the more impactful that period and the time after it must have been. I'd love to watch younger people talk about that time of their lives if only so I can learn more, and it's obvious I could learn other things I'm not even aware of yet from younger people's conversations.

I for one hope you stay, and even if you don't feel up to starting a new community I hope you get what you're looking for. There's nothing wrong with posting to a slow or dead community and just thinking of it like a small forum every once in a while. You're definitely not the only Gen-Z on here, and if you post someone else might feel more comfortable posting too!

Thanks, it generally means a lot! I just thought Lemmy is more welcoming instead of whatever is not in majority of the users' interests is bad and malicious.

[–] leraje@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago

I don't agree its as bad or worse than Reddit which is packaged fury everywhere. However, the last few months tempers have certainly risen and bad-faith takes and antagonism are more visible in some communities. There seems to be a lot more right-wing people, or centerist apologists at least, than there were before the US election results and I think those results might play a part - emboldening some to speak up and causing so much stress in others that they lash out where they wouldn't have before.

Just make liberal use of the blocking options and take your time to find your people.

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 week ago

Keep this in mind and stay. We need and want you here.

[–] Zero22xx@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'm too new to be making these kinds of suggestions and I'm far from the moderator type myself but multiple times throughout this week, I've been thinking that it would be pretty cool if there was an AskBlåhaj. Or even just general Ask Lemmy based here, that could be asking for unwanted attention from shitty people on other instances though.

Not even 24 hours after seeing this post, I've seen someone else getting the snark and a non answer for a simple question. And also a Blåhaj user.

As much of a public bathroom as it could be, AskReddit was pretty fun for 'silly' questions and general chatting. And a nice place for new users to hang around and gain karma and confidence. But with the gatekeeper neckbeardy types around, maybe what it needs on Lemmy is to be in an instance with rules that promote friendliness and good vibes.

Just an idea to throw out there anyway.

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 1 points 1 week ago

Log on around 11am CET

The Europeans are up and about, and the angry, leaded-petrol-huffing gun-owning cowards are mostly sleeping

Far, far more civilised

[–] blackn1ght@feddit.uk 1 points 1 week ago (3 children)

This is a genuine concern and I do get tired if it myself sometimes. Users here can be extreme.

Have you considered beehaw? Their primary focus is to "be nice", although I think they're only federated with a limited set of instances.

[–] Blaze@feddit.org 1 points 1 week ago

There is also a set of more relaxed communities

https://feddit.uk/post/22376629

[–] spider@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Have you considered beehaw? Their primary focus is to "be nice"

It's a Stepford kind of "nice".

For example, I once referred to a bigoted minister as a “moron” and was accused of using "ableist" language.

After a couple more similarly annoying incidents, I left.

[–] SuperDuperKitten@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I hadn't no. To be honest, I just assume it was just another Lemmy instance but will check it out. Thanks for the suggestion

[–] scoobford@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

You can also block entire instances at once. I've found blocking lemmygrad, hexbear, and the political communities on .ml cuts down a lot on the outright genocide fans.

[–] Sunshine@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 week ago

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this kind of behaviour, you deserved better than that interaction.

Personally, I have met a lot of hostile users from sjw and lemmyworld. So I’m going to do what Beehaw did and block out their instances completely. Besides the smaller instances need more love, the fediverse works best when it is decentralized.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

a lot of people came here because they were shitty enough to get perma banned from reddit

im just guessing with that but its probably true with the attitude these people have

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

Yeah, I keep seeing people posting about how they were permabanned from reddit like I'm supposed to think that's normal or sympathize with them..? I don't automatically block them but man is the toxicity making me want to start doing it.

This is part of why I'm not going back to reddit, you can just check modlogs here to see who is actually a victim of a power tripper vs someone who slung abuse and then wants to act like a confused puppy.

[–] DoucheBagMcSwag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Lemmy: What the fuck do you mean, "you use Windows"

[–] AnonomousWolf@lemm.ee 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Lemmy really needs to focus on improving the default UI, and making it as easy as possible for users to sign in and start seeing posts etc.

Especially on mobile, it was a nightmare for me to figure out which app, which instance etc. most people would have given up by then.

People are used to having a very smooth process when using social media etc. and Lemmy is really lacking in that department.

[–] Zero22xx@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago (4 children)

My experience getting started here was a rollercoaster for sure. I think that one thing that would improve the experience immensely is if there were a way to have one profile no matter which instance you sign up on. I'm on my 3rd instance right now and the first 2 were both within my first 2 days of trying this place out.

It's like if you want one permanent profile, you have to first research the politics of an instance, and its politics with other instances, and hang around long enough to check out the users and see if your first impression was true etc. etc. And just kiss your old profile and history good bye if the politics change and you need to move homes.

[–] AnonomousWolf@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago

That would be great yes

I think a good start is to just join lemm.ee or even lemmy.world

And then figure out if you really want to switch or not.

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