getting really doomer right now as it feels like society is going to collapse sooner than i'll be able to really achieve any of my transition goals

Relatives have been checking up on me concerned due to the anti-gsrm proclamations of late. Due to where I live and what I interact with I'm a bit more worried about the end of birthright citizenship and wanton deportations without giving AF if who they pick up isn't Latin@ or is a US citizen, they're all going to the same place. So many Born in East LA but unfunny horror stories already happen irl and no one gaf. When I was younger I thought of emigrating out to MX to be yet another digital expat, or maybe to continue on to an advanced degree, I'm so old and broke now idk how realistic that is. I do have some savings, but not enough to start in another country lvl. My spoken Spanish is horrific and there's no one to practice with around here.

I'm the mood for storytime, when my mom worked in agriculture when younger immigration did a sweep and picked up a few Oklahomans along with the rest, they were seriously so power tripping they were thinking about deporting them until some other official had them calm the fuck down. When people think Murikkkan its usually a bit of a southerner, so no one is safe from what's coming . She also had a series of stories about a nice undocumented Canadian she worked with, eventually he ended up getting caught in a sweep.

HRT I have a decent stockpile not just from fearing the eventual scapegoating, but my constant insurance cuts, which I'm facing again. T is a lot more forgiving storage wise and time wise than one would guess off , real people to listen to are body builders, no damn joke. If I had a question its them or my endo. Anyway, for injections I've found vet supplies to be cheaper than Amazon when they have sales.

I'm at the point in my transition like many where I can't go back in the closet, I never really cis-passed very well, so this was always going to happen regardless of what the fools want.

CW bathroom violence story when I was younger

CW: dysphoria bit health

lovely weather today. it snowed on top of frozen over roads. fell on my ass, thankfully i have a delicious cushion these days.

deleted my insta account... hellsite especially with policy changes

i didnt get anyones contact info. wonder if that was the right decision but people never really reach out to me first anyways or just leave me on read when i message them. more and more i've just felt like a digital voyeur, background static in these ppl's lives

down with apps, no more apps please. get rid of apps

::: spoiler scared

Im kinda finding myself very scared about the day1 EO and what it symbolizes/forbodes. Ik i will probably be ok because of where i am located, but also libs will roll over for anyone and i wont put it past them to say we need to accept and uphold the EO in the name of unity.

Ig its time to bring a chamber pot with me everywhere i go, or a bigwall poop tube

I feel like I need new underwear. The set I currently have is so gray.

Probably should get a bra at some point too, but idk if they are big enough to warrant it and I don’t want to get fitted and what if bras feel weird.

Chana Masala my beloved

I made a 同志/跨性别 group on XHS if anyone is interested in joining:

Also this is my feed currently lol:

And I came across this amazing sticker earlier on there and grabbed it:

i found a some guides to lesbian hashtags on xiaohongshu that others may also benefit from

http://xhslink.com/a/1nEovI1qZzj4 and http://xhslink.com/a/0Dvh61hKmPq4

i even found a couple transgender folks today!

edit: And another, Mox a standup she is funny!

edit2: i found a lot of transgender people, mostly american it seems. If you keep using the site and exploring the queer nooks there's a lot of it!

bart simpson transgender?

made pizza for dinner

Just had the most packed weekend ever with my partner, including going dancing two nights in a row. I'm happy we spent yesterday laughing and loving (and going to brunch lol) instead of dooming.

I love them so much

gonna go to the moon and steal the american flag and replace it with the transgender one

born to passenger princess

forced to drive myself everywhere

My friend kind of disappeared on me. We started out by dating, and it was great for the most part. We did decide to just be friends after a while, but then we were actually friends and it was so nice. We lived near each other, and would get together at least like once a week for the last few months. It was usually pretty casual, like we'd get coffee or work out together or he'd come over for dinner. Sometimes we'd end up spending the whole weekend together tho. It was honestly so nice having a friend like across the street, it's been years since I've had that.

He has family living in a different state, and visited them over the holidays. The day he flew out, we got breakfast at some diner he likes and then I drove him to the airport. That was the last time I heard from him. I expected him to be busy with family and stuff, and I wasn't to surprised not to hear from him at first. I did ask him how the trip was going a couple of times. Anyway, know it's been a month and I haven't heard a thing. None of my friends who know him have heard anything either. He hasn't posted anything to social media in a while either. The trip was supposed to be over by now I thought.

I reached out to one of his friends, who I don't know as well. I think I fucked that up tho. Like I was way too direct in asking about him and I think I weirded her out. I should have been smarter, but I was just worried.

I mean he doesn't owe me anything, but it would be nice to have a little closure. Like I have no idea what happened. Did he not feel the same way about the just friends thing? Or did he just decide he didn't have time for me for other reasons? Or did he decide to stay with his family and not come back, which wouldn't surprise me that much honestly. Or is something wrong? I feel like I'm never gonna know and it sucks.

CW Suicide

torn between self expression and the need to find work

Make the Mega Gay Again

The glow in the dark nail polish I got is cool but don't quite like the snot like color it leaves on my nails

Anyone else purposefully disable notifications on Youtube comments and then spend an hour trying to find your old comments to see how much and outrage you instigated?

No one? Just me? fuck