this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2025
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 186 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

JFK to LAX, any % of passengers.

[–] nandeEbisu@lemmy.world 41 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

If it was any% of plane, there are some creative launching strategies we could explore.

Boeing has entered the chat

[–] militaryintelligence@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

And landing

[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 12 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Used to lead big hikes. We had an "80% return rate is good". Partial bodies counted.

Yes, this was a joke for attendees.

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[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Does the run end when you touch the ground, or do you have to actually make it to the gate?

[–] frank@sopuli.xyz 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

With the new gateless skip it's basically the same exact time. You clip right into the gate

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[–] GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 weeks ago

Literally just gun it towards the landing strip at full speed to save one framerule

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[–] mkwt@lemmy.world 103 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Southwest Airlines pays their pilots a bonus for every minute they block in early.

Guess who has a reputation for bugging ATC for shortcuts and taxiing really fast.

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago
[–] Cort@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Aha, I knew it! Flight attendants get paid per 'flight' hour and the pilots get bonuses to reduce the amount of time the attendants are paid for. That's fucked up

[–] mkwt@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Pay is usually per flight hour, but also paid on a block-or-better basis. The minimum pay for completing a leg is the scheduled time, but if there are delays, then actual time from parking brake to parking brake is paid

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

parking brake

This a fwd model? Get me some McDonald's trays, I'm gonna show atc a cool trick

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[–] nebulaone@lemmy.world 74 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Ooooh, so that's why I saw a plane doing janky backwards jumps before being flung off into the sky.

[–] mlg@lemmy.world 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Hey guys desinc here, today I'm gonna show you some tricks and glitches in real life

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[–] MimicJar@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

click uh, ladies and gentlemen this is your Captain speaking. Wha. Hoo hoo. Yahoooo! Yahoo! Yah! Yayayayaya! click

(Edit: wrong sound)

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[–] Gork@lemm.ee 60 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

Sometimes I like to speedrun deliveries in American Truck Simulator. Turn off fatigue (roleplay my driver as addicted to energy drinks and cocaine and pees in bottles) and drive at 105 mph (168.981 km/hr) halfway across the country.

Get there 3 days early, because faster deliveries means more Value^®^ to the shareholders.

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 36 points 3 weeks ago

I definitely enjoyed when trucks showed up 3 days earlier than they were supposed to when i ran a shipping dock. It definitely didn't fuck up our whole system, no way.

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 17 points 3 weeks ago

Get there 3 days early, because faster deliveries means more Value® to the shareholders.

If you aren't providing Value® the shareholders. You have to ask yourself, "Am I good employee?"

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[–] Tarogar@feddit.org 45 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Collision detection isn't perfect. If you save and load just at the right time while moving forwards you can sometimes clip through walls. So walls are basically just a suggestion. The only problem is that if you mess it up, you die and loose time due to the unskippable death animation...

But no one messes that trick up right?

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 29 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

So what im hearing is that 9/11 was a messed up speed run?

[–] TheKMAP@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 3 weeks ago

That's debatable. While they were initially going for the clip glitch, they ended up discovering a wrong warp.

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I hate being a pedant, but I hate this common mistake more.

*lose

If you edit your post I'll straight up delete this comment ♥️

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[–] Karyoplasma@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 3 weeks ago

If you die on the same frame as falling down a hole and the screen transitions, it increments the submode which results in a broken mode-submode combination. The room number in RAM changes to that of the room below, however it is never loaded. Thus, transitioning north places you in the room north of the room below this one, from which you can jump through a wall to activate EG. This also underflows the room number from 10 to 250 which causes all sprites to despawn, including the mantle blocking the sewers in Escape.

The Book of Superskuj, 753:12-15

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Ladies and gentelmen this is your pilot speaking, I've gone ahead and put the seat belt lights back on because Marlons a fucking showoff and thinks he so great. Buckle up and hold tight.

[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 37 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Hmm, after reading my contract carefully, there's nothing in there that explicitly says I actually have to wait for the passengers and baggage to be loaded before taking off...

[–] owl@infosec.pub 16 points 3 weeks ago

Just type in the 7500 cheatcode and you can take shortcuts through military airspace.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 3 weeks ago

[halfway through the flight] "Dang, I can't make this time. Going to reset"

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 33 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

Block time (airlines calculate it differently) was traditionally viewed from “block to block”, the time the wheel chocks were removed for the aircraft to move under its own power for departure to the time the wheel chocks were put back under the wheels at destination. Now it just means what the airline thinks the flight time will be for scheduling purposes.

As a passenger, this is what you see when your app tells you the flight time. It includes taxi out and taxi in.

Delay-prone flights are often over blocked, so a perfectly delay-free flight (push, taxi, takeoff, fly, land, taxi in, park) that takes say an hour and a half total might me blocked for 1:50 because historically one of the airports might be busy at that time an they know there will be a long taxi, gate holds, whatever.

So sometimes fate smiles on everyone and you get to leave early, miss whatever built in delays there might be planned, ATC gives you a couple shortcuts, a favorable wind, and bam, you’re in 30 minutes early.

So not really a speed run, just lots of luck.

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 weeks ago

The RNG gods giveth and the RNG gods take away.

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[–] JayObey711@lemmy.world 30 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Boeing is doing the low% speedrun where you try to get to your destination with the least aircraft parts.

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[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 29 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Do they allow clipping? Or is that a different category?

[–] lud@lemm.ee 23 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Not since that failed attempt.

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[–] Futurama@lemmy.world 27 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No no no, that's only 52 minutes early. He left 2 minutes before the scheduled start time. Quit trying to boost your stats, man!

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

Me farming gold 10 seconds before the match ends to look good on the stats screen:

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 24 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Stretch goal: Arrive before takeoff.

[–] assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Concorde has entered the chat.

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[–] Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz 22 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I'm assuming getting all your passengers there is considered a 100% run. I think the players branching out into lower % runs will open up some pretty big time savings and make for much more interesting runs.

[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

you can take off as soon as the first passenger steps into the plane for a massive time save

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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 15 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

New York to Atlanta any% run.

(That's not a very long flight so 54 minutes is actually pretty impressive.)

[–] okamiueru@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Party pooper here.

You know when fast food workers post images of things like stepping bare footed onto a bowl of salad?

To me, this is the equivalent for pilots. Safety, checklists and routines, take time. Don't go posting on social media that your are competing in this space.

Ps: the post in question is arguably not too bad. But, if this is "a thing", then I'd suggest to be careful to be associated with it.

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 13 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Safety, checklists and routines, take time.

Walkarounds and such are done before takeoff, and you aren't taking off early, especially not in an airliner. In-flight checklists don't take more or less time, since the airliner is going whether you want it or not, and the pilot does not / can not just set the throttle for a faster speed. It's fine.

There are two major factors influencing travel time on an airliner, neither of them have anything to do with doing stuff faster with less attention to safety. They are airport organisation and prevailing winds.

If your departure/destination is competent and there are less complications from overworked ATC or other planes being late on arrival/departure, you're most likely fine.

The big thing though is wind. A head/tailwind can affect your ground speed to a degree of +/- 30% in extreme cases, so these are harmless. It's not even up to the pilot "going faster". There are similar posts and even articles about airliners "breaking the sound barrier", eg. having a larger ground speed than the speed of sound in static air on the ground.

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[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You spend a lot of time climbing and descending plus the higher you are, the more distance you cover traveling to any location. The trick is to fly as close as possible to the ground.

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[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 weeks ago

Freebird intensifys

[–] JayObey711@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

A TOS shows that if you do an out of bounds glitch you can trigger the loading zone under ground because they stretch to the bottom of the sky box.

[–] yax@feddit.org 8 points 3 weeks ago

Is doing anything fast or being happy about anything going smoothly really considered a speedrun now?

Don't get me wrong. If Summoning salt posts a two hour long video about the history and optimization of Delta Airlines flight 545 between LGA and ATL, I'm watching that shit.

[–] dance_ninja@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

Weren't airlines purposefully inflating trip times because of the Biden administration's rule changes on trip refunds?

[–] RandomStickman@fedia.io 7 points 3 weeks ago

One simple trick to arrive an hour ahead of schedule!

ATC hates him

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