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I once did a toke at a party and then I died true story (slrpnk.net)

submitted 2 months ago by ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net to c/memes@sopuli.xyz

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[-] riodoro1@lemmy.world 174 points 2 months ago

This is the amount I drop on the carpet when opening my grinder.

[-] orcrist@lemm.ee 63 points 2 months ago

Plot twist. The person holding the pot is Andre the Giant.

[-] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 40 points 2 months ago

and he just drank 156 beers

https://www.eightieskids.com/156-beers-inside-andre-the-giants-unofficial-world-record/

[-] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

One for my favorite fun facts about Andre's drinking...There were times he got so drunk and would pass out in hotel that they'd have to simply leave him there because he was too big to move.

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[-] Venicon@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago

Usually I drop onto the carpet after opening Grindr

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[-] harrys_balzac@lemmy.dbzer0.com 92 points 2 months ago

I'm sorry you died. Seems like your recovery is going well.

[-] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 69 points 2 months ago

those teens didn't die, and in fact rose up 3 hours later to eat everything in the house

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[-] UncleGrandPa@lemmy.world 60 points 2 months ago

5 lies in only 3 sentences....

Impressive

[-] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago

They left out that you need to inject it with a needle

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[-] dankm@lemmy.ca 59 points 2 months ago

I once caught gay from a used marijuana needle. Never again. Took a lot of prayer and fasting to make that go away. Ban it. Ban it all!

(/s, of course. Shouldn't be necessary but this is the internet....)

[-] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Did you freebase the devil's lettuce from the needle or did you huff it from a used crack pipe you found in a medical refuse bin

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[-] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 53 points 2 months ago

It's only deadly if you inject the nug directly into your veins though.

[-] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 months ago

Snorting it is the only safe way, I hear.

[-] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 8 points 2 months ago

But don't grind it down first.

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[-] yokonzo@lemmy.world 38 points 2 months ago

Bitch that's barely a gram

[-] over_clox@lemmy.world 48 points 2 months ago

That mini bag probably weighs more than the micro nugget it contains.

Yay microplastics!

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

I just smoke the microplastics and inject the weed into my nutsack.

[-] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 months ago

No, it's an eighth of a pound. Didn't you see the baked in text?

Perhaps you have already succumbed to the reefer madness.

[-] don@lemm.ee 13 points 2 months ago

NOT TO A CHRISTIAN AGAINST the POT WHAT ARE YOU ACTUALLY INSANE

DO YOU FUCKING USE the POT?!??!

[-] over_clox@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

I piss in the pot, I smoke from a bowl..

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[-] BowtiesAreCool@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

It’s probably .25g in my professional opinion

[-] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 8 points 2 months ago

That's way less than .25g I would even go for .1 or .15g

[-] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 36 points 2 months ago

That’s not even one whole marijuana

[-] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 31 points 2 months ago

I smoked way more than that my first and only time. Somehow I am still alive. Maybe I died without knowing?

[-] Jojowski@sopuli.xyz 21 points 2 months ago

You are undead now, just like Jesus

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[-] huquad@lemmy.ml 29 points 2 months ago

This actually happened to me the other day. Completely died.....

I got better

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[-] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 29 points 2 months ago

Ugh, teenagers are just the worst. Thank you marijuanas!

[-] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago

I tried via search and failed to prove it, but I'm nearly certain this was an old Facebook satire page.

[-] xantoxis@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago

I feel like "Christians against the pot" gives the game away.

[-] CeruleanRuin@lemmings.world 25 points 2 months ago

No no longer think it's cool. Now I think it's AWESOME.

[-] Snapz@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

My grandma fell and some of the pot slipped out of a stranger's pocket. It hit her right on the middle of her butt and then she's dead now. She tells me about it every day and is crying now as I type this, smh.

[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 22 points 2 months ago

It's in a plastic bag because microplastics are safer than letting such a large dose of the marijuana leech into your skin

[-] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 20 points 2 months ago

I should have died 6000 times

[-] monsterpiece42@reddthat.com 12 points 2 months ago

🎵 And I should have died 6000 more 🎶

[-] Malfeasant@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

Just to be the man who died 12000 times to .. rise up at your door? Bbbrains...

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[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 months ago

Jesus fucking christ

[-] Comment105@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

Why are Christians such prolific liars, anyways?

[-] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 12 points 2 months ago

Cause they all learnt from the same book of lies

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[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 months ago

Just check for fentanyl

[-] over_clox@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

True that.

Or stick with a trusted supplier. And even then, still be cautious.

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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 18 points 2 months ago

An 8th of an 8th of an 8th.

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Enough fentanyl to kill a precinct of LA's finest.

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[-] Snapz@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

"You wouldn't download the pot..."

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

Are those fingers circumcised?

[-] SpicyAnt@mander.xyz 13 points 2 months ago

La lechuga del diablo.

[-] Default_Defect@midwest.social 11 points 2 months ago

I took a huge bong hit not knowing their shit was potent AF and got sent to the shadow realm once, does that count?

[-] fox2263@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

The pot

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[-] mortemtyrannis@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 months ago

Chris! Is that a weed?! I’m calling the police!!!

[-] danc4498@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

That’s a huge hand.

[-] troglodytis@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Damnit, Jesus! How many "then I died" stories you gonna come up with?

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this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024

620 points (96.3% liked)

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