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submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by jackmarxist@hexbear.net to c/technology@hexbear.net
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[-] MelaniaTrump@hexbear.net 107 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Late stage empire vibes.

  • Self-own your own IT infrastructure by pushing out an update on your overly bloated domestic security software peddled by your military industrial complex. Wasn't even an attack from a major cyber rival: you fucked this up all on your own.
  • Your space agency cancels their only moon robot because their contractors bled them dry. Meanwhile your main geopolitical rivals are building entire military bases on the moon.
  • You have astronauts stranded on a space station because Boeing, your only remaining domestic aerospace company, was taken over by MBAs and can't make airplanes OR space shuttles without endangering your own citizens.
  • Your two major political parties are so dysfunctional that one got through a whole primary cycle with a decrepit old man before realizing he was actually too senile for the job and now your political elites are forced to play their veto uno reverse card in the media. And the other party just had their candidate survive a homegrown assassination attempt by a slight neck twitch, only to turn around and start endorsing a public plan to dismantle your own government with their VP pick.

And ALL of this in the past week, lmao.

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 25 points 3 months ago

Is boeing all that's left?

[-] Sickos@hexbear.net 28 points 3 months ago

The other aerospace companies are primarily defense oriented

[-] Sickos@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago

Well, I guess Bell/Textron would count too

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[-] RNAi@hexbear.net 54 points 3 months ago
[-] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 29 points 3 months ago

I'm in the process of switching, thank goodness.

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[-] nasezero@hexbear.net 50 points 3 months ago

Please be related to them pushing out some AI bullshit that would be so fucking funny

[-] jackmarxist@hexbear.net 32 points 3 months ago

Peak Reality

[-] RNAi@hexbear.net 50 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Nooo haha don't monopolize key sectors of your economy making it easier to hijack the whole thing and takeover after the revolution haha nooo

(This goes both ways, I wouldn't like this happening to China)

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 28 points 3 months ago

I hadn't considered speciation and natural seelction as a mode of hardening your systems against attack, honeslty, but i guess that's exactly how it functions in nature.

[-] RNAi@hexbear.net 33 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Ey cuz I'm an RNAi hehe. Funniest thing is that all happened because of an antivirus

In the ridiculous evolution arms race there are pathogens that hijack precisely the antipathogen systems to do their thing, and then later defense systems which attack exactly that, the whole thing is filled with trans-uno (i couldn't find the non-trans uno reverse card emote)

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago

The trans uno reversal seems appropriate because so many women are going to spend the next few days cursing and swearing as they have to travel from department to department manually deploying fixes.

[-] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

pull on your programming socks, it’s going to be a long fucking day

[-] RacoonVegetable@reddthat.com 42 points 3 months ago

Imagine using windows for mission critical applications

[-] sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Imagine revealing you've never worked for a company whose IT infrastructure is older than you

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 29 points 3 months ago

The nice thing about FORTRAN is there's hardly anyone left who speaks the deep magic so network attacks aren't much of a concern.

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[-] gammarays@lemm.ee 36 points 3 months ago

The wallstreetbets post having been created a few hours before the shortage is wild

[-] AndJusticeForAll@hexbear.net 24 points 3 months ago

I'm wondering this: If they were associated with it, why would they bother posting about it publicly? Unless it was a coincidence.

[-] Sickos@hexbear.net 24 points 3 months ago

It's not insider trading if you're reacting to news from an outsider.

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[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 34 points 3 months ago

Crowdstrike got their overly valued IPO off planting Russian Bear AC-CommBear signatures in the DNC servers.

Infamously being handed the DNC servers after the party denied the FBI access to investigate.

They admit there was no evidence of Russians after the fact

But it was critical to plant in the news and aided the Empire to stroke up a new Red Scare to justify sanctions.

Crowdstrike was founded by a group of ukkkraines connected to the Atlantic Council atlantic-council and planet-hillary

Cybersecurity Firm That Attributed DNC Hacks to Russia May Have Fabricated Russia Hacking in Ukraine

The firm’s CTO and co-founder, Dmitri Alperovitch, is a senior fellow at the Atlantic Council, a think tank with openly anti-Russian sentiments that is funded by Ukrainian billionaire Victor Pinchuk, who also happened to donate at least $10 million to the Clinton Foundation."

They rode this fake claim to fame on an IPO that valued the company at $7 billion

CrowdStrike Holdings Inc. shares soared nearly 100% at times in their trading debut Wednesday, and the chief executive compared the cybersecurity company to cloud-software giants like Salesforce.com Inc. and ServiceNow Inc. while watching the stock’s huge first-day pop....CrowdStrike CRWD  priced an initial public offering Tuesday evening at $34, higher than the expected range. CrowdStrike sold at least 18 million shares at that price to raise more than $610 million at an initial valuation of about $6.7 billion. Underwriters — led by Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, BofA Merrill Lynch and Barclays — had access to another 2.7 million shares, which could push the total raised to more than $700 million.

Shares gained as much as 97% in Wednesday’s session, though they pulled back to trade lower than the opening price of $63.50.

So not sorry for a bit a schadenfreude that this happens the night trump-drenched is formally nominated.

My other half watched it and said the family was there.....but Barron was missing fry

[-] jackmarxist@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago

Russians hacked into a Ukrainian artillery app, resulting in heavy losses of howitzers

Why does Ukrainian Artillery have an app which can be connected to the internet?

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[-] jackmarxist@hexbear.net 32 points 3 months ago

The more I read about it the worse it becomes holy shit. The economic hit would be wild.

[-] CyborgMarx@hexbear.net 31 points 3 months ago

On a scale of 10 (10 being the 2008 crash) how big is this?

Enlightenment me oh computor mages praise-it

[-] jackmarxist@hexbear.net 25 points 3 months ago

Probably bigger because of how centralized everything has become.

[-] FloridaBoi@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago

I was thinking about this the other day about how so many functions and internal services for firms, especially IT, were outsourced and centralized. For my company this meant that so many means of internal communication and online storage went from in-house servers to the cloud. Security is fucked because my company depends on another for our private info. Like you can’t have a system that is disconnected from the internet anymore.

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[-] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 31 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Lmao, my company uses that. Let see if I'm going to be able to work today.

Bad news: looks like it was fixed 😕

[-] FloridaBoi@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago

We got emergency emails and texts about the outage. I seem to be able to login and work just fine for now

[-] Blockocheese@hexbear.net 21 points 3 months ago

My work computer isn't working and I actually need to do shit today :(

[-] Sickos@hexbear.net 29 points 3 months ago

Lol this is not the "something finally happened" that I hoped to wake up to, but I'll take it.

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 21 points 3 months ago

A world-wide disruption like this does create plenty of options for things to happen.

[-] What_Religion_R_They@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago

but we know nothing will happen

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[-] roux@hexbear.net 28 points 3 months ago

Southwest showing the world how it's done:

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[-] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago

how long is this gonna last before it's fixed and back to normal?

Death to America

[-] jackmarxist@hexbear.net 33 points 3 months ago

There is no automated solution so every device has to be fixed manually. Plus with Bitlocker it becomes more difficult if the keys are stored on a server that can't start anymore. It'll be a pain and will probably last a month or two because of how big the scale is.

[-] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 26 points 3 months ago

fuck yes. hell yes dude, i love the market

Death to America

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[-] Waldoz53@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago

hey guys just started my job at crowdstrike and pushed a little update, gonna relax the rest of the day

[-] hello_hello@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago

Richard Stallman gets proven right once again. The West will rather collapse than ever consider a sustainable software model.

I'm even more GNUpilled right now.

[-] oscardejarjayes@hexbear.net 20 points 3 months ago
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[-] BmeBenji@lemm.ee 18 points 3 months ago

Call me crazy, but if I were to look back at the history of cybersecurity in, oh I dunno, 20 years? And I read about the “Crowdstrike Outage” long after this company is gone, I’m immediately gonna assume “Crowdstrike” is the name of a piece of malware

[-] Yahsway@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 3 months ago

As someone who worked this last night:

World got ClownStriked.

[-] batsforpeace@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago

sicko-blur here for the chaos

[-] LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago

lmao the only reason I'm able to get work done is because I'm working from home today. My entire school is SOL otherwise.

[-] blobjim@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago

Do they not even do an incremental update? They just pushed it out to all customers at once?

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this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2024
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