The entire concept of friend zone is just the obvious display of the emotional stuntedness and hyper-ingrained mysogyny that are the hallmarks of the empty husks men are turned into in this culture. Anybody using the concept of "the friendzone" is incapable of forming actual bonds to other people and sees women as nothing but fuck machines, i'm not buying any other explanation for this garbage.
I had written out a long effortpost earlier today, about how ridiculous this concept seems from a queer, particularly transbian, poly and acespec point of view, how people who are actually capable of more complex and nuanced relationships than "bro" and "longterm monogamous fuckmeat" may view this, and it was pretty good actually. It got into a lot of the emotional complexities of having to navigate the depths of friendship and dating as a queer woman, how difficult it can be to draw a line between very intimate friendship and romantic and / or sexual and / or sensual attraction when you have social relations that lack the distance, rudeness, shallow affect and fear of tenderness that are the hallmarks of the deeply damaged masculine condition, and it did get a lot into how all the emotional wealth that comes from that in all my relationships is worth the confusion of the condition we describe as "useless lesbian", which is what the community calls a person like me who is incapable of telling where the normal amount of teasing and compliments and displays of affection between girls ends and where genuine flirting starts. And it had a whole paragraph about how it's ok and normal to remain friends with people you've had sex with, how it can actually deepen instead of "ruin" a friendship to know sides of each other you don't show to anybody. How liberating it is to ditch monogamous notions of relationships as a form of possession that leads to an inherently brutalized and competitive way to engage with other human beings. How complex and layered the range of things you can feel for people can be if you're somewhere on the asexual spectrum and hornyness isn't constantly clouding the rest of your feelings and sex isn't all about fucking, how much of this thread is dominated by a mindset of a cishet allo mononormative ideal of relationships where the straights all get told all day by mass culture how to feel and none of them have to make sense of their feelings and their desires to the same extend queer people have and how much poorer straight people are for being trapped in that kind of prescriptive disneyfied themepark version of sexuality.
But the site crashed when i tried to send it because on top of ruining hexbear culture, this whole federation garbage has also wrecked site performance. If this dumpster fire of a thread is any indication, good luck with how this place is going to develop, because i do not see myself on here much longer when the main goal of hexbear is onboarding as many cishet dudes as possible. This shit is so gross, i pitty anybody who has no choice but date men.