Comic Strips

Doesn't work, since they are fulfilled sequentially.

Do the opposite of my next wish. -> Fulfilled, he is set to do the opposite next.

Don't fulfill my 3rd wish. -> Fulfilled, the wish does effectively nothing and he's got one left that will be fulfilled. All instructions from the first wish are done with and discarded.

Ignore my first wish. -> Fulfilled, there is nothing left to be ignored about his first wish anymore since it's already done. The wish does nothing and he successfully wasted all 3 by trying to be a smart ass.

First rule: don't fuck with djinn, hags, or fae. Demons maybe, at least you know what they want.

Gratz, you played yourself and get no wishes.

You could have had fame, riches or beauty but instead you chose to be a dick.

Those aren't wishes, just commands.

Genies hate computer software developers

Even if any of the three wishes are deemed valid or invalid the net result will be nothing happens, no?

Then on the third wish he just says "nah, that won't work" and you've just burned 2 and confused yourself.

Does everyone not understand this yet? The only winning move with a genie is to not play.

Again, from the last time this was reposted, none of these are wishes.

Wish 1 cancels out wish 2, leaving us with the default state of granting the third wish. The genie grants the third wish by biting his tongue and ignoring how stupid the first wish was.

Wish one, genie give me a copy of your private key for the wish granting API

I liked the one from that classic twilight zone episode better wherte the (i believe mathematician) told the genie to "get lost"

Genies hate this one trick.

That oughta teach him a lesson

There's often a rule about not wishing about wishing, either directly or indirectly. This rule's not in the story of Aladdin (at least, not Disney's version) because that would prevent what happens with Jafar at the end.

It's also not a rule in Douglas Hofstadter's book Gödel, Escher, Bach..., where Achilles and the Tortoise - characters Hofstadter frequently borrows as protagonists; his Tortoise is sapient and can talk - contrive to wish that a wish not be granted, or something like that.

And if that last paragraph (with its nested asides) gave you a headache, you'll love the book.