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This is outrageous. They're not even going to attempt to investigate my report about an alien beaming into the bathroom and touching my peepee? Just for that, I'm filing 10 more complaints.
Never gonna catch me 👽
On this planet, you don't just leave a guy hanging like that. When you start a job, finish it dammit!
I'm still waiting for my alien reach around.
Which bathroom tho
The humans' bathroom.
Gayliens.
Just to make up for that grevious lack of action about your case, I think we should ALL file reports about those alien peepee touchers until it gets the attention it deserves.
I mean, bathrooms are the most important thing in the world and despite it being a very modern contrivance, making sure the right people are using the right machines to whisk their poopies and pee away is critical for the survival of our species. We have to defend this noble institution against the alien peepee touchers! MAKE THEM LISTEN!