If you have any questions, please ask. I love yapping.
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Let's say we have some periodic function f. The goal is to represent it as a bunch of sine waves. This is called a Fourier series (FS).
The FS coefficients are given by
⌠2⋅π
1 ⎮ -i⋅k⋅x
f̂(k) = ─── ⎮ f(x)⋅e dx
2⋅π ⌡0
for whole numbers k. We can then approximate the original function with
n
___
╲ -i⋅k⋅x
╱ f̂(k)⋅e
‾‾‾
k = -n
and make the approximation better by making n larger.
For non-periodic functions, we can still get an approximation! The Fourier Transform (FT) uses a continuous range of frequencies instead of whole numbers, and the sum is replaced by an integral (the inverse FT).
FT's are used everywhere, for example in signal processing and spectroscopy. If a recording contains an annoying high-pitched noise, we can apply the FT and filter the unwanted frequencies. Spectroscopy separates light into its different wavelengths. By comparing the resulting spectral lines with known measurements, we can determine which elements and molecules are present in stars and planets, for example.
idk what more to add ._.
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Its ok, I also panicked whenever I tried to do something gendery. Its very scary, hell I still am afraid of going and buying clothes. But. Its worth it. And even when it hurts and brings fear its worth moving through those feelings, cause coming out the other side is beautiful and wonderous.
When youre ready, you should move your pronouns to your display name. It'll be ok, and you can always move them back. Trans mega got ur back
Oh girl, I know those thoughts really well.
fwiw
I dont consider myself a person. Not really. That has more to do with autism than being trans tho. But an important thing for me was reaching a point of "I might not be a person, but that doesnt mean I deserve insert bad thing here". And being trans has led to a lot of dehumanization. So I say to them that yeah, I'm not a person. And no, it doesnt matter. Cause I still deserve respect, and love, and compassion, and understanding. Person or otherwise I deserve it. And so do you.
Ive spent so much time dreaming of not existing. Like, its hard. Its really hard. Both to be in it and to get out of it. Doesnt matter how privileged you are, or how much of a chud you used to be. Youre here and thats what matters. Forget about deserving it. Thats a terrible framework to operate from. Everyone I know who has felt they dont deserve to live has had extreme empathy tolerance and forgiveness to others, and never judge them by the same metric. So why judge yourself that way? Youre here. It would be nicer and better for you if you were able to live a more fulfilling life. Thats what matters. That won't hurt anyone. All it could possibly do is show you a glimpse of what your life can be. All it could do is bring you a little bit of contentedness.
As far as sub/unconscious repression, thats tough... Its difficult when you can't see what's there. But you've gotta make it conscious. When you see some trend, some tendency of your repression, you have to actively counter it. Take action against it. Its a form of self care. Like, I used to police how I walked to the point it was subconscious. So I made a conscious effort to undo that. First by overcorrecting and explicitly and only walking with my hips, and later it became natural and mellowed out, and not something I thought about. Now I just dont walk in a way that isnt the product of someone elses anger towards me any more.
Ive gotta run, but I'll check back to see what ya say
I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you, i didn't mean to dump or make things difficult. I was in a rush and wanted to express support and empathy cause I saw a lot of my own processes from earlier times reflected back at me. Youre welcome to DM me, thank you for asking ^^