this post was submitted on 18 May 2026
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Crassulacean acid metabolism photosynthesis - Trans Megathread for May 18 through May 24, 2026
(hexbear.net)
CAM photosynthesis is a clever adaptation some plants have where they turn light into sugar during the day, and only breathe in CO2 at night. This lets the plant close up its leaves so they don't lose water during the heat of the day.
CAM plants use sunlight to turn malic acid into sugar, and every night they breathe in plenty of carbon dioxide, storing it as a fresh supply of malic acid. If you have keen senses, you may be able to taste the difference between a CAM plant harvested during the day and one harvested at night because of this variation in sugar and acid content.
Having evolved several times independantly, you see CAM in lots of different kinds of plants: air plants and bromeliads, which have poorly developed root systems; cacti and other succulents, which grow in hot dry environments; you even see it in some aquatic plants. For these, CAM serves not to conserve water, but carbon dioxide - which is of course hard to come by when you don't have any air.
The "crassulacean" part of the name "crassulacean acid metabolism" is there because this phenomenon was first discovered in crassulas. Jade plants are an example of this genus.
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I know youre going through it and venting and getting it out is healthier than letting it all boil over inside, but this specific comment should really be spoilered.
Anyway,
If you wanna read more, click the spoiler. Theres not much point in reading it if youre feeling way too much in pain, 10/10 style emotional pain, right now because none of its really actionable. If youre in that really high pain point, all I would wanna do is just
and maybe if youre up to it later you can read it. Like, after a good night's sleep kind of later not in the next few hours.
click when youre ready, if you want to
Thoughts are just thoughts, they come and go, you are the mountain and thoughts are the clouds. The clouds can come on, the clouds crash against the mountain, the clouds pass. The mountain remains. You have these very strong intense emotions and dark thoughts, and they are hard, and you must still deal with them in a healthy way. Obviously, if youre in danger of harming yourself right now I would suggest emergency services and maybe a crisis line if you can get one. If youre not or youre just in a headspace where you need to get it out but not a real danger, then vent.Your experience of being transgender has so far been very difficult for you so far, I dont know all your details and only my guesses and what you've posted. One of the biggest hurdles and pain points seems to be being closeted at home and it seems the majority of your day to day life, you've made a lot of progress and forward movement otherwise - coming out to friends, HRT (starting DIY!). When youre depressed like you seem to have been all that momentum collapses because your brain literally isnt able to track stuff beyond a long constant "now" in the same way a brain without depression can - all the future is kind of splayed out in an unattainable frame far past where it feels like you can ever travel. But if I had asked you 2 years ago if youd start DIY and come out to friends etc, you probably would have said something like "no." And yet you did have the strength to do those things even as you seem to have been profoundly depressed.
One of your biggest pain points - besides being closeted seemingly the majority of the time - is your voice. And voice training is hard even if youre not dealing with the level of dysphoria you have about it. You must still train to get a more femme voice, but it doesnt have to be right this second and maybe you need to work on some other mental health stuff before you can start to take a crack at it properly. Of course if you ever feel safe enough to startingtartii try, well youve shown a lot of strength over the years Ive known you and I wouldnt be surprised if you randomly decided to start despite everything you feel inside.
I don't know if your life would have been better or worse if you had been cis. There's not much point wondering because that's not your life and it seems to be bringing you pain and making you feel hate for other people when you do consider the "what if I were cis" thing. If ruminating on this is bringing you pain, then you should stop or speak with someone you trust on how to get out of that thought cycle if you can't stop ruminating on it. Comparing yourself to others only really hurts yourself and theres even less a point in comparing yourself to someone who isn't real (i.e. imaginary cis you).
I do hope that things will get better when you move, and even better when you start to be independent and can just be yourself. Maybe even come out to your parents when it no longer matters if they approve or do not approve.
spoiler
This is so true tbh and the biggest hurdle of getting past depression. A good 90% of the time it feels like trying is genuinely pointless.