this post was submitted on 14 May 2026
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The implication that the boy is strafing while maintaining a straight vertical line to the girl is hilarious
Technically, his starting location is defined contradictorily, being both the same position as hers, as well as "due north". We can only proceed if a point can be considered "due north" of itself.
Technically, his initial direction of travel isn't actually defined, nor is that direction specified as constant. Only his initial position and "5ft/sec" speed has actually been defined. The problem doesn't actually constrain him to a northerly heading, or even to a constant heading. He could choose to orbit her at a constant distance as she travels eastward.
In five seconds, he could be a maximum of 25 feet away from the starting point. That puts him up to 30 feet west of her, or 20 feet east of her. His possible position will be defined by an ellipse with foci at the origin and her position 5 feet to the east, with a major axis length of 50 feet. If his direction is fixed, he will be on the circumference of the ellipse. If not fixed, somewhere within the ellipse.
If his direction is not fixed, and he elects to minimize his distance from her, as his distance from her approaches zero, his revolutions around her in a given time will approach infinite, and we will have to consider relativistic effects. From his perspective, his body will be ripped apart into a dizzying pink mist, which he will experience for all eternity. Poetic, I suppose.