this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2026
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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Photo by Andreas Filla, taken at the Berlin Pride Parade 1994. CC-BY-SA

Hi my trans siblings!

I'm late writing this mega this week, I had hoped to do more research but maybe I can add stuff and re-write this as the week goes on.

This time I'd like to share some information I stumbled across about 20th century trans icon Charlotte von Mahlsdorf. She was born in the Weimar Republic in 1928 and survived Nazi Germany to make it as the most prominent trans woman that I'm aware of in the DDR (GDR or East Germany). There she ran the Gründerzeit museum, dedicated to the founding period of the German Empire and the period of its industrialization. The museum ended up becoming a popular hotspot for the gay and I presume trans and queer scene in the DDR.

She was politically active, having been an unofficial informant of the Stasi which ideally I'd love more information on. Was she helping them identify Nazis? Surely being a trans woman would've lured a lot of reactionaries out from behind their masks in her presence. In fact, after the DDR was taken over by the BRD (West Germany) in 1990, it only took about one year before one of the parties she threw at the museum was the target of a neo-Nazi attack, at which point she announced she was considering leaving Germany. She eventually moved to Sweden in 1997, where I believe she lived the rest of her life.

She died of natural causes at the age of 74 during a visit to Berlin in 2002.

This has been more or less a summary of the Wikipedia article on her where I did check some sources, but I really want to learn more about her. I only learned of her in the past couple days, and there is a film about her from 1992 called I Am My Own Woman, by Rosa von Praunheim.

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[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)
[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 1 points 1 hour ago

suicideI am glad the world will keep spinning without me. It will be like I was never here. That sounds nice actually.

I can't believe I have to keep suffering like this for god only knows how long. I have to be nearing the end of it. I have maybe 2 years before I can call it a decade. Nearly a decade of this awfulness and misery. All of it to blame on this horrid disorder. "gender dysphoria".

spoilerI have this stupid problem where I keep trying things because once apon a time they worked to make me feel better. I want to reach out to people who made me feel better before. But I don't think it will keep working.

I don't understand why I have no motivation to do better. I was just thinking earlier about one of my coworkers who had her life ruined by something else and now can't have what she really wanted. But she still gives life 110%. She is busy constantly. Works not a great job but something she feels some passion for. Going back to school. Busting ass.

But here I am. Not doing anything. For years. I've been wanting laser. Need to get my driver's license. For some stupid fucking reason I can't get myself to.

I think, in addition to all my obvious mental health problems, my disorder, my autism. I am also just a stupid, useless broken bitch. Meds didn't work. Shock therapy didn't work. Getting a job again didn't work. Hrt. Going out into the world and meeting other lgbt people. Friends here. Nothing I have done or tried has worked. I am still just a stupid, broken, useless bitch.

back to suicideI have no hope. No future. It's nice to pretend. It was nice to pretend I would travel. It's nice to pretend I'll meet someone one day. But it's not real. Everything that is actually real is horrible.

I hope I die soon. I am tired of this. I am sick of feeling like shit, my life being shit.

Anyway, I should go to bed. I have to get up early so I can work a stupid fucking job to save a few more stupid fucking dollars because for some stupid fucking reason I think that will help me.