Okay but you can see how feeling undesirable and a virgin ain't connected, yeah? You don't know if someone else has or hasnt desired you because its not in your head if they do - and you aren't in that kind of social milieu (e.g. sex party) where its acceptable to walk up and be frank about wanting to fuck. Instead you're in the regular social milieu where everyone's anxious and nervous and insecure and shy and scared about being vulnerable and taking a risk of being turned down - and it sounds like youre dealing with not seeing yourself as worthy, beautiful, desirable, which is just adding another layer of difficulty on top if it. Plus, potentially being a person who does not want to approach others herself for perhaps the above listed reasons.

Your other friends didnt have the same dysphoria, the same history, the same shyness and/or fears you have to deal it. Don't compare them to yourself, theres nothing there but pain for you if you continue to do that. Its also not "male coded" to feel insecure about virginity or whatever, very normal experience. If you want to fall in love and have a deep emotional intimate experience with someone, consider starting with loving yourself and seeing yourself as someone who is desirable and worthy instead of giving that power to other people over you.