That's all true, and it's all pointless.

It doesn't matter whose fault it is or how hard it is. There literally is only one person who can fix your obesity, and it's you. Yes, that's hard. Yes, that sucks. But it's also the only way.

Discussing whose fault it is and what of blame there should be is, at an individual level, completely pointless. There is one person in charge of what you eat, and it's you. Factors may influence it, but in the end, you move the food to your mouth. You are the only person in the universe who can fix the situation, and if you don't, it won't get fixed.

Taking the position that you're a powerless victim of circumstances will just hurt. Admitting that you're obese because you eat too much, and that you can control how much you eat, will help fix your problems.

Every time you hear someone say "it's my thyroid" or "I have PCOS" or "I can't afford the gym", or "I have a food addiction" or "I have BED" as an excuse, you're talking to someone who sees themselves as a victim rather than the person who can fix their problem. All those things might be true, but none of those issues move food into your mouth. You do that, and you can stop doing that because you're a thinking human being and not a seacucumber or a daffodil.

Getting from "I am obese" to "I am keeping myself obese" was very hard too. It requires taking ownership of your mistakes, it requires introspection. And then you go into a long and uncomfortable process of fixing the problem you caused, and it sucks. Losing weight is shit. Feeling hungry sucks, and it sucks 24/7. But damn, losing weight feels amazing and it's all worth it.

Thanks for this, I had an idea about food addiction but that explanation puts it in perspective.

Companies also try to make foods as addictive as possible and as flashy as possible. It's like avoiding the constant casino ads as a gambling addict, but you had to keep stepping into a casino every week forever and only doing low bets.

on top of that, if someone is using excess food to "self medicate" issues like... IDK, anxiety? by forcing the body to go from the Sympathetic nervous system response to the Parasympathetic nervous system response.... yeah. Fun coping mechanism makes one fat.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathetic_nervous_system#Relationship_with_the_parasympathetic_nervous_system

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasympathetic_nervous_system

That's just one approach to addiction. Personally, I think it assumes people are weak with no self-control, which seems to be exactly the argument you're making.

The emphasis on abstinence and any exposure at all being a failure might even make binging more likely if someone gives in just a little, as their counter is now reset, so might as well take advantage.

And the obsession/fascination with the addiction target continues or even gets ramped up.

I like the moderation approach a lot better. I don't binge drink every weekend anymore, but if I do feel like having a drink every now and then, I just do instead of spiraling because I need to treat it like some sort of personal failure.

The way chemicals interact with dopamine, some of those substances are a LOT harder than others. You just need to change the food you eat. I found fasting easier than meticulous dieting. I had the willpower and was enable to accept the simplicity of simply not eating.

I control my addictions by limiting supply. I buy a fifth of bourbon and a case of beer once a month and that's what I get. If I go on a bender for a week and run out tough shit.

I don't have problems with overeating but if I did my strategy would be to have a limited supply of things I don't have to cook. No chips or soda or sugary bullshit. Just full ingredients that have to be prepped and cooked. When I did cook or order food it would be in an amount that's appropriate. Add friction between me and the things that are a problem for me so it's easier to put off consuming them. Maybe that would work. I don't know.

I also have an abhorrence for delivery services so that helps too.