The struggle is worse the older you get.
this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2026
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That's all true, and it's all pointless.
It doesn't matter whose fault it is or how hard it is. There literally is only one person who can fix your obesity, and it's you. Yes, that's hard. Yes, that sucks. But it's also the only way.
Discussing whose fault it is and what of blame there should be is, at an individual level, completely pointless. There is one person in charge of what you eat, and it's you. Factors may influence it, but in the end, you move the food to your mouth. You are the only person in the universe who can fix the situation, and if you don't, it won't get fixed.
Taking the position that you're a powerless victim of circumstances will just hurt. Admitting that you're obese because you eat too much, and that you can control how much you eat, will help fix your problems.
Every time you hear someone say "it's my thyroid" or "I have PCOS" or "I can't afford the gym", or "I have a food addiction" or "I have BED" as an excuse, you're talking to someone who sees themselves as a victim rather than the person who can fix their problem. All those things might be true, but none of those issues move food into your mouth. You do that, and you can stop doing that because you're a thinking human being and not a seacucumber or a daffodil.
Getting from "I am obese" to "I am keeping myself obese" was very hard too. It requires taking ownership of your mistakes, it requires introspection. And then you go into a long and uncomfortable process of fixing the problem you caused, and it sucks. Losing weight is shit. Feeling hungry sucks, and it sucks 24/7. But damn, losing weight feels amazing and it's all worth it.
Congratulations on your weight loss. You are correct that it is such a psychological battle to place yourself at the helm.
After having kids I really struggled with losing the weight. Now it probably was hormonal, but naming the reason doesn’t take the weight off. I had to accept that I was going to have to work harder than some people. That there is no such thing as fair - just because some tiny person can eat a double cheeseburger with fries and not gain weight does not mean that my body will afford me that same luxury.
Once I realized that there was really no way out but creating a calorie differential, I started logging calories. When my brain begged me to snack constantly I ate cherry tomatoes or cucumber slices. I worked my ass off at the gym. And I would go weeks without dropping a single pound before my body finally would give a few up all at once. But there is no such thing as easy weight loss, and you are so correct that you have to force yourself to be the boss.