So, I want to do some martial arts, for self defense. Ideally one that will be useful without giving me CTE, or any long term bad stuff, even though I feel this is already asking for too much 
I don't live in the U𐓏𐓏 so gun related stuff isn't really an option.
I'm somewhat heavy, with a year of experience in lifting, and my cardio is not the best, but I can do long walks (of 1 or 2 hours) before getting tired.
I'm going to move to a bigger city in September, and there's a lot of stuff available, so you can comment on the more niche options.
So yeah, any advice from your experiences is welcome lol
If I had known people started arguing over my post I wouldn't have made it.
If self defense is really your main concern and guns aren't an option your next best bet is probably learning to use a collapsible baton or maybe a stun gun. Having a weapon is always going to be better than being unarmed no matter how good a fighter you are.
Edit: should probably also add that focusing on your cardio is gonna be the best thing you can do for your own safety no matter what because the best thing you can do in a self defense situation is GTFO, and if you do end up in a melee it will be very cardio intense.
Here's my two cents because I agree with your sentiment but would like to suggest different implementation.
With a collapsible baton you still have to be physically fighting someone. It is a pretty nasty weapon and you could catch charges for being too quick to use it. They are illegal in many jurisdictions. Sure you could hurt someone with it, but its not disabling and a determined attacker would persevere. So what purpose is actually served?
A stun gun again relies on up close contact and again being ready to mix it up in hand to hand, suffers varying degree of loss in efficacy through layers of clothes, and (this part I am uncertain on) does not disable through electric shock but again merely relies on pain.
Pepper spray requires no particular strength or skill to use, and will temporarily disable an attacker by forcing their eyes closed with tears and disrupting their breathing through coughing spitting drooling snot.
i cannot stress enough what a useless and frustrating reply this is. no shit, obviously being armed is better than being unarmed. that's the whole point of weapons. however, as literally anyone with a brain can tell you, it's not feasible for everyone to have a weapon on them 100% of the time. no matter how careful you are there could be a moment when you don't have a weapon on you or it's been taken away from you, and it's very obvious to anybody but the most disingenuous, contrarian, annoying internet shitheads that that's what the OP is asking about
tldr if you don't have a relevant reply to the OPs question, just don't say anything
Ok I agree with your sentiment, but you didn't have to say it like that.
You're not even disagreeing with them! Relax!
I don't think the reply was irrelevant. It’s good advice. Every time this thread comes up (which is more frequently over time) the same answer has to be given, that martial arts are not an effective use of your energy and time if you are worried about your safety. At worst it gives someone the illusion of safety and an unrealistic confidence.
Force multipliers are approx 1 million times more effective than years of hand-to-hand combat training.
If you are worried about getting jumped, then start carrying tools that will help you when you get jumped. Learn how to use them, but you don’t need to spend years.
Better yet, build community defense so that your safety isn’t individualized. Not possible in every situation but I want to emphasize that this is the better starting point of the conversation.
If you are worried about the rise of fascism, don’t worry, you won’t be facing hand-to-hand combat. Your enemy will have flashbangs and teargas at the absolute minimum, plus body armor. It is asymmetrical warfare.
The idea of martial arts as self-defense is something that should be criticized. Go ahead and do it as a hobby, but it’s unlikely to be anything more than that.
OP did not state that they were only interested in unarmed martial arts and I understood their comment about firearms to imply they actually might be interested in weapons.
If OP is asking about fun sports or good exercise then my comment would be definitely be unhelpful but at least to me that doesn't seem to be what they're asking.
I'm not sure how that makes me a "disingenuous, contrarian, annoying internet shithead".
I guess it's not a direct answer but it's fine, no need to worry
cardio and good shoes are more important than the difference between armed and unarmed 99.9999% of the time in personal self-defense scenario.
there are a thousand ways simply having a weapon around is more dangerous than not, and you have to be willing to use a weapon if you're going to carry it.
I don't recommend collapsible batons: https://yewtu.be/watch?v=uDBv-Vo7B5M