So, I want to do some martial arts, for self defense. Ideally one that will be useful without giving me CTE, or any long term bad stuff, even though I feel this is already asking for too much 
I don't live in the U๐๐ so gun related stuff isn't really an option.
I'm somewhat heavy, with a year of experience in lifting, and my cardio is not the best, but I can do long walks (of 1 or 2 hours) before getting tired.
I'm going to move to a bigger city in September, and there's a lot of stuff available, so you can comment on the more niche options.
So yeah, any advice from your experiences is welcome lol
If I had known people started arguing over my post I wouldn't have made it.
OP did not state that they were only interested in unarmed martial arts and I understood their comment about firearms to imply they actually might be interested in weapons.
If OP is asking about fun sports or good exercise then my comment would be definitely be unhelpful but at least to me that doesn't seem to be what they're asking.
I'm not sure how that makes me a "disingenuous, contrarian, annoying internet shithead".