this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2026
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Incredible new developments in chud discourse
Final chance: Jesus called a Canaanite woman a racial slur (dog)
“Oooooh! You’re making the wicked witch mad! I cast a spell on thee!”
These losers wouldn’t have lasted ten seconds on the late 2000s internet.
I love how these guys will always talk about how they will make god punish people for disagreeing with them. Pretty sure nothing got the big guy upstairs madder in the bible than when people started ordering him around and making demands of him.
Counterpoint: have you ever considered that my dad could beat your dad up? (/s)
Like unironically it is why I don’t think if God is real, they’d be offended by “sky wizard” jokes. Because clearly they don’t worship an enlightened being, they worship themselves.
don't be a kid and make fun of some guy for being bald
I think that one was just coincidence. God had just installed his "summon the bears" button and was just looking for any excuse to try it out.
when all you have is bears every problem looks like delicious honey
What are we? Some kind of…Hex bear?
Lmao this guy thinks he can dictate where the "final chance" is for other peoples' redemption
The fact that this guy hasn't been slam dunked straight into hell yet is proof nothing resembling his god exists
protestant christianity doesn't give a shit about how you lived as long as you say the magic words just before you die so this is an even funnier threat
That's Catholicism with its sacrament of confession (penance and reconciliation). Also there is the Anointing of the sick for those who are about to die, sometimes it can substitute the other sacrament if the person is unable to perform it.
Protestants believe in predestinaton, is up to God if you go to heaven or not. You could behave as a "good christian" all your life and still not be saved.
There are different traditions inside Protestantism, like Calvinism and its double predestination. Or Lutherans, Methodists, etc. All with similar variations of the same concept.
I don't know where amerikkkan televangelism fits here. My personal guess is straight to hell.
Catholicism, compared to protestantism, does have as doctrine that what you do affects your redemption, whereas protestants have a personal and direct connection to Jesus. So I think the other poster was correct, in a way, although I think this doesn't contradict what you are saying either. Mainstream catholics kind of believe that you can't know who god chooses to go to heaven or why, so based on the doctrines of mercy, forgiveness, and grace, then probably everybody goes to heaven. This contradicts Opus Dei weirdos and tradcaths, who adhere to pre Vatican ii doctrine.
Mmm I think it's a little more granular than that. Baptists believe anyone who has faith in Christ and seeks his forgiveness will go to heaven.
Yes, many branches reject deterministic predetermination and put more emphasis in free will.
They believe they can dictate this, because their heart believes that they themselves are God, though they don't ever admit it to themselves.
Young men are aspiring to be the neighborhood shut-in Jesus freak who yells at the kids walking by they're doomed to hell.
Bring back the Reddit atheists! Bring back the Reddit atheists!
I’m going to become Sam Harris but I never sell out to the normies.
They were terrible, they were the foundation for the alt right
I have seen worse trolling.
There is a nonzero chance both of these people are piping the other's response into an LLM which just adds to the fun
These shitposts aren't wordy enoguh for that.
I think China has the right idea when missionry activity is illegal, but they didn't go far enough. We must make converting to Christianity illegal itself. At least if you're an edgy white dude and likely former reddit atheist.
Jokes on him. Wasn’t a slur. Jesus was referring to the dog people who were then genocided by the christians. St Christopher’s original appearance was literally a dog person before the dog people were whitewashed from history.