this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2025
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We all know that won't work. Try this instead.
"Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."
no wonder it didn't work, that's not even cheese
Nilered did a video on this, it's technically at least cheese-adjacent
https://youtu.be/0aGNAxN5Z-o
i mean, so is grass
It's cheese, with stuff added to it. The stuff being more milk and some shit to keep it solid at room temperature as well as shelf-stability. It's essentially a solidified cheese sauce. You can even make it at home.
But why would you?
Road trip nachos. The cheese only melts when you get into Death Valley.
He failed though. Arrest him, and bring me someone taller.
Edit: or better at jump shots.
To be fair, cheese works on most people, whether or not they're ovulating.
The cheese is under my foreskin
That's kind of an insane gift for a first date given how expensive cheese is.
I mean, if he makes it himself or knows the people who do, he probably gets it a lot cheaper than at the store.
Would marry that farmer. No questions asked, no long engagement. Straight to the court house, we're getting hitched.
True love right there
Bro, plastic cheese…
Bro, that's cheese coated in wax.
i mean it does also seem to be wrapped in plastic
It blows my mind that someone cool, intelligent, and attractive enough to read Vonnegut doesn't know such a basic cheese fact.
👉👈
Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.
Wait, all opiods? If so does that man that heroin addicts could have a few slices of cheese and use less smack? Gotta have the healthier option, ya know
A heroin addict is taking way more opioids than he would make endogenously from eating a piece of cheese. Cheese contains tryptophan, an amino acid that is a precursor to serotonin, a neurotransmitter associated with mood regulation. It also contains tyrosine, which is a precursor to dopamine, another neurotransmitter involved in pleasure and reward. Additionally, cheese is high in fat, which can stimulate the release of endorphins, hormones that have mood-boosting effects. Cheese contains many ingredients that activates at least 3 signaling pathways involved in boosting mood.
I read that as "a slice of milk" and like. Technically yeah it's not wrong
Yeah but this one unironically works for a lot of women.
Works for a lot of men too. I mean not me. I prefer mozzarella.
My ex gf and i used to steal each other fancy cheeses. It was the most intense love i have ever felt.
My mom and I used to steal fancy cheese for each other. God I miss that woman like you can't believe. 10/10 mom and person.
This made me cry.
Ha. She's one worth crying over. Lost her in April, and I don't know that I'll recover. Hug your loved ones. ♥️
But I will tell you, she taught me how to steal fantastic cheeses, and we never went hungry again. Haha.
How do you steal each other fancy cheeses? Or steal fancy cheese from each other?
So, you steal a fancy cheese, right? Then you give it to your girlfriend. Then maybe she steals a fancy cheese that reminds her of you and passes it off. Now youve stolen each other fancy cheeses.
From where though? The fancy cheese store? Does every town have one of these for purposes of romantic theft?
It's called a fromagerie, pleb
Wherever.
Idk, this piece of advice legitimately works on my wife.
That shoe one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women's shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.
If they were all the same size, perhaps amputee?
Or maybe a really specific fetish.
Maybe both.
Quite possibly a question best left unanswered, at least until you no longer live there
Maybe they robbed a shoe store. On displays they frequently leave one shoe from a pair so that stealing them just nets you a pile of left shoes lol
Fascinating
🖖
also: username checks out
I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.
I keep stealing shoes, and filling it with rue, but all it's given me are shouting matches
I tried this with my fiance with a dairy allergy and now I'm single again.
Bitches love cheddar
The stinkier the cheese, the more the fascination!