Y'know, when I signed up for this back in June I had grand plans for some grand writeup on the domestically produced unmagnified gunsights of Cuba. I had collected images and info and sources but I lost sight of it as life stuff happened and my time for the trans mega snuck up on me.
Que sera sera.
Anyways, today felt like the first whisper (you have no idea how hard I just thought about the ideal word for this metaphor) of autumn and that put me in the mood for one of my favorite autumnal albums. More Constant Than the Gods by SubRosa is a really lovely doom? sludge? metal album. I like how big it sounds. The lead vocalist is a really talented lady, and its got violins, also the lyrics talk about dying and stuff and I'm into that. Its very fall-y to me, as is Standard Time Volume 1 by Wynton Marsalis, but for extremely different reasons.
The funny thing is that, like the poster of the previous mega it is also my 5th transiversary, I started HRT half a decade ago today (ok technically it was the 17th but I'm gonna count it since thats when I started writing this). Now, I don't think that taking HRT was what made me "officially trans", rather it was the degree of self acceptance required to get to that point. It's a long story, and one I prefer to share privately, but it took a very, very long time before my fear and desperation gave me the strength to allow myself to have this. I think it all turned out pretty well, I experience existence in much higher fidelity, I'm this whole person, along with everything that entails.
I feel very blessed to be transgender.
I hope you all stay safe and have a good, or atleast tolerable week.
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Being a masochist is so hard. The dentist was using sharp implements and causing lots of pain as they say "you're doing so well" over and over again. Meanwhile I'm thinking "... this is so hot"
Masochists that can really take pain are so hard to find when you have a sadists heart ๐ข
Being a switch is great.
That just popped into my head apropos nothing
I love reading stuff with extreme pain and torture (even death) in it. Can I handle any of it irl? Can I truly fill a sadists heart to its brim and make them squirm in joy as they put their new toy to use?
We'll have to see about that
...
I also love reading the same material for different reasons ๐น
I fucking feel this, last major time I went the dentist was removing one of my teeth and afterwards she fucking patted my cheek as "there there good boy" and it fucking
How? I can't comprehend how and why...
I've never been able to explain why I am a masochist. I literally just like the feeling of pain. Like I want to avoid it out of my biological instinct, but I also want to experience it. And when another person gives me painful sensations, I like it even more.
But I only like painful sensations on my skin. When it's internal pain oooof.
I think in a biological sense, your brain produces painkillers when you feel pain or exercise. I guess masochist brains just produce a lot more drugs and are addicted to it.
Okay, fair. A little sexy slap is cool, no more than that though.
spoiler
Pain on skin is fucking amazing, I really wonder if I'd be into someone doing that to me..I would love to find a partner I trust and love enough to be able to do that with. It's the dream.