this post was submitted on 25 Apr 2025
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Banning cell phones in school while school shootings are a regular occurrence is top tier decision making
Students can keep a phone in their bag if they really need it. The fact that we ever allowed kids to scroll instead of paying attention in class is absurd.
“It’s fine if it’s in a bag and off or silent” has been cell phone policy in my experience (decades ago).
That's the policy at most schools. Actually enforcing that in the face of a classroom of kids who don't respect the rule? That's a much bigger problem. They're a lot more clever at sneaking them out than you would think. Moreover, if the phones are just feet from them, their presence is never out of mind. They're a constant distraction even in a bag. Phone apps are literally designed to be addictive. Imagine if we had a rule that said "crack pipes are fine in your bag. As long as you don't take them out and smoke in class, you're fine." Even if we lived in a world where crack somehow was legal for minors to have, how effective to you think that rule could be enforced?
Many kids recently have been carrying around an addictive and dangerous chemical called dihydrogen monoxide in their bags. The temptation to have a "sip", as the youth call dosing on the drug, can often be overpowering. Please sign this petition to ban dihydrogen monoxide in schools
When I was a kid, it was forbidden to peruse DHMO during class, regardless how bad the withdrawal symptoms were.
Easy. Keep some crack shots handy.
Crack open ⇒ Crack shot