this post was submitted on 11 Apr 2025
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Can we all agree to use "Sashayed in" rather than "hatched"?
He's still more tortoise than he is gay.
That's probably true. But like, by weight? Surface area? Gay actions per hour vs tortoise actions per hour?
Hard to nail down.
Don't nail tortoises down. They reeeeally hate that.
Well then they shouldn't slowly walk all over the place!
By the degree his life would change were that aspect of him to change.
Ah yep. His life would be significantly more different if he stopped being a tortoise.
Honestly, it's debatable whether a blind tortoise with no sense of smell is expressing homosexuality just because they seek sexual gratification with an object that happens to be male. He might also fuck rocks.
Perhaps he only ambled in.
I'm thinking something in a casual saunter with a touch of hip sway.
Or whatever the tortoise equivalent of that is 🤷
I want to like this bc I'm almost genx, but I think it's sexist? What am I supposed to do in 2025?
Oh you don't stop now, you sashay harder. For all of us.