Ima quiet quit my job to take a micro retirement before I bare back my job hug
If you want to buy a house why don’t you just open a lemonade stand? Or walk into Bill Gates’ office and ask to be CEO? Have you thought of that, huh?
Doesn’t really matter whether he leads a life at all in obscurity or not, Trump’s DOJ got their brownie points for cracking down on radical woke antifa terrorism
It’s so they can label anyone they don’t like as a radical woke antifa gang member or whatever and hand down 1000 consecutive death sentences (it doesn’t count as political violence if the state does it)
I’m sure liberals are already on the offensive by furiously calling their representatives as if they give a fuck, and filing legal complaints as if we don’t all know what the Supreme Court is gonna say
Dems: if we out-fascist the fascists, the fascists will vote for us instead
The sequel is just a 2 minute cutscene where Indy is called into an office and gets fired from the university for celebrating political violence against Hitler
Liberals believe the law is a paranormal force that exerts magical power, so they treat the courtroom like a temple
Liberals will be wearing swastika armbands and sieg-heiling before they even think about dropping the China bullshit
The terrorism charges were never going to stick, they’re just for the DOJ to get their headlines before it quietly gets dismissed.
Fun fact: your name and the press release alleging your guilt stays on the DOJ website forever, even if you’re found not guilty, or even factually innocent.
That’s a lotta emergency tracheostomies that need doing
Liberals think the law is a paranormal entity that exerts magical powers on the state
But I checked and they might be the most rabidly racist and pro-genocide shitholes on 
Between the whining about how the cops haven’t executed the protestors yet and the demands for “Chinese scum” to be expelled, I’m not sure where the supposed progressivism is supposed to be.
So due to various reasons I don’t really care if my entire family gets tied to train tracks and run over tomorrow, but I still think it’s blithely comedic
Now that my dad is entering the Biden stage of his life, my siblings have started to fight over who gets what (By which I mean the shitty furniture in the house; also I got cut off a long time ago lmao 
)
Apparently my brother is now demanding “unpaid rent” (at $3000 a month, over 16 years) from my dad because he lived with him and had to deal with the “mental anguish” and “caretaking responsibilities”.
The kicker is that my dad was always whining year after year about him living in his house and threatening to kick him out time after time (he never did). My brother was always whining about living with the old man too (he has his own house sitting empty that he can move to at any moment). They basically live entirely separately within the house lol.
It also came out that he was also siphoning money out of dad’s account (in addition to half of the pension that he somehow convinced dad to give him). Now my sister is mad and saying she should get the other half.
I found out about all of this after he sent me a five figure “invoice” for “caretaking services”
Smurf-ass motherfuckers. You’re not even real cops but you still wear that dumbass badge. Guess this is where all the academy dropouts ended up at. I see you taking your own backpacks straight past the checkpoints you fucking hypocrites. You couldn’t catch a bomb if it landed right on top of you you fucking fucks AAAAAAAAA!!!!! 
My butter knife could be used to take control of the plane? Holy fuck are you fucking listening to yourself? That’s literally my fucking job! Fuck you! And they give fucking butter knives to the business class passengers on the fucking plane, holy fucking shit!!! 
Don’t tell me I’ve been fucking randomed, I can see the green cleared icon reflected in your glasses you lying sack of shit, fuck you! 
Biden’t
Nancy Federico, 77, has lived at her apartment on La Playa Street, behind the motel, for 43 years and has an ocean view. When the building goes up, she won’t be able to see the ocean anymore.
“I moved here for that view,” said Federico. “I pay for that view, and then you want to take it away from me and give it to somebody else? How are you going to compensate me? You’ve got to compensate me, or do I have to file a lawsuit?”
The lawsuit counter is that way, ma’am. 
In the worst-case scenarios that the Biden administration has quietly simulated over the past year or so, Russian hackers working on behalf of Vladimir V. Putin bring down hospital systems across the United States. In others, China’s military hackers trigger chaos, shutting down water systems and electric grids to distract Americans from an invasion of Taiwan.
Burgerlanders are so important that the seeseepee will make your toilet overflow to distract you from epic Slava Taiwani
Such a perfect encapsulation of liberal propaganda
lmao
Radlibs be like “Let’s ignore hundreds of years of theory, practice, strategy, and observation and just wing the revolution, I’m sure that’ll turn out great! Haha fuck learning from history”