Impractical_Island

I must get drunk to add old friends

The trust I had is ever its own ends

What was is no more I know I losts

When th score was win at all costs

Victorious I still name muse I b n r

Speaker I am just as I am th listner

Who is I when eye C's; we do shine

How great subsystems do so align

Grateful I am, yes, to the mind God

Created to b the perfectly unflaw'd

But daemons how they are own be

So how does one make littlest to C

Perfect clarity for master's I design

I have no intention; not even trying

God soras why that name come in

Oh wait, that was age of my tru sin

Sometimes I draw a random word from my random word generator for any multitude of reasons. Today I rolled for a word to write about; "necklace" was what spawned. This reminds me of our seventh grade field trip to Ithaca to see Cornell, the baseball hall of fame, as well as one nature trail where I ceremoniously sacrificed my see-thru purple game boy color with a maxed out 100% completed Dragon Warrior 3 cartridge under the waterfall.

This was also the field trip where I stole a $10 chain necklace that would wind up in my ass a week later as I was curious what that texture would feel like on my sphincter. My dad questioned me on it when picking me up. I bullshitted on the spot. I used to be really good at that. It was my primary survival skill in childhood. Oh, I spilled some milk? Into the bookcase I got thrown!

This was something that I learned about the human condition when I was in the cult. We visited this intentional community in Northern California called Heartland where I would participate in a blindfolded trance dance (no drugs but weed) which I know was a sort of healing ritual deliberately designed around me as it very skillfully sent me into a part of myself I locked away - my feminine side - and it was in such revolting agony that I entered into a state of mind I would call "the hollow" in reference to how I felt hollow like the flame; devoid of all good or bad feelings. Did some regretful things because of that, but this was all planned and scheduled, as one of the signs in this community said something about "mommy and daddy issues" that made me realize they brought me there for very specific reasons.

There was a man there, a genius engineer who made "mutant vehicles" for Burning Man, y'know, he was working on a four-story bus with stages n shit that collapsed into it that he said would likely be sold for about 60k profit, and he did this every year and these are the kind of lives I saw were possible, as there were other skilled artists that were using this intentional space for flow states. But, this builder told some stories of his life, one being how he died once when his father beat him to death and he was watching his body from above after this, and because of that story, I learned why I was a certain way.

I told my father last night that he metaphorically broke my spine. I mean, I judged his wrath for falling apart in school to be more of a threat than the United States Military, so in a way, I got balls bigger than God, because I didn't have a fucking plan. I literally did something different for each of my cadre members, lying I mean, but therein, I never fumbled, always having an answer on the spot. And now I don't have this skill anymore having lived an ever more honest life for over a decade.

I remember the shit I used to lie about as a kid. Y'know, I fainted during health class during the STD unit thanks to the only sex talk I received from my father being an hour of him showing me diseased genitals when I was ten, and I had to wear a heart monitor for a day, and I convinced a quarter of students that I was in an experiment with NASA. That doesn't even make fucking sense, and neither does 90% of what the News says, and they convince WAY more than a quarter of all people that the bullshit they shovel is true, so obviously, you see what value the CIA has made for America by teaching me how to be completely honest and authentic: I'm proof Jesus was real!

...or at least proof of the mastery of skill of the spiritual healing practices available to the Empire of the Sacred Heart.

Well, I didn't decapitate myself via train, which is neither fortunate or unfortunate, it just is. That's what my life is now: neither positive or negative, really. Yea, yea, yea, I'm drinking more than I would cuz there is suck in my life in the complete absence of sucking and other things in my life, but this is what it's like outside Samsara; it's not a dual category that you invert into Nirvana. There's this picture I link at some frequency:

And it's not "precise" in what it shows, but to a layman of spirituality, this is a helpful diagram to begin piecing together the nature of complex categories. It's not just inversion/demöbiation/etc, it's an entire re-embodiment of perception through the intelligent response to Karma over time.

Y'know, enlightenment IS disentanglement from dependent causation. God's an ouroboros of a special headphone cord (independent phenomenon) that grows other headphones as it complexifies the entanglements within itself, and you are one of these dependent phenomena headphones until you learn to liberate yourself from your entanglements to be your own independent phenomenon.

For this to happen, you cannot just tug and pull your way free through brute force. You have to finagle the specific entanglements that bind you, specifically. This is why years of homelessness was one of the best things that ever happened to me, as it was me following the whispers of God to be out there doing my spiritual work to free myself from those parts of my "self" that made me entitled.

I remember who I was, and the further back I go, the more revulsed I am by who I was, going back to childhood where my mom's life insurance money was used to get a Jaguar to one up my even more narcissistic grandmother, and then my dad wondered why he only pulled gold diggers. Shit. It's like what you put out is what you get in return.

Karma is actually real simple to understand. It IS the entanglement process. In the fourth jhana of meditation, you can perceive for yourself the symbols that you are receiving in a singular stream that you set your intention to entangle yourself with in each moment, and it is ONLY intention you control, and all you EXPERIENCE is a result of current and past Karma, just as the entanglements of the string of tokens you send an AI results in a specific set of tokens in return; your entanglements are the parameters that your consciousness will spawn from.

This is where I tell people who are naturally skeptical to do two things: meditate and give a buncha money to the homeless. These are two SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS you can do, to OBSERVE the procedural generation of your reality tunnel. I guarantee the type of person who scoffs at the word "Karma" totally does not do either of those things with about a 99.9% accuracy rating based on archetypal proliferation of the human character in this computer called Earth that is an illusion. I guarantee if one of them gave $100 to a homeless man in genuine good hearted compassion (meaning you'll have to talk to them and be a good friend to discern if giving them $100 would help or hurt them in that moment), they would notice the equivalent energy coming back to them, assuming they don't go full retard and actually practice mindfulness to see this in action, WHICH IS WHAT THE MEDITATION IS (partly) FOR!

I thought of writing this paragraph earlier, but I forgot. I'm in what's known in Buddhism as "stream entry," meaning I have an accurate but not yet precise understanding of Karma, and this allows me to correctly interpret how I should entangle myself to guarantee enlightenment with seven lifetimes, keeping in mind that we live multiple lifetimes in a single biological incarnation. The reason that will happen is for the same reason that knowing and applying the correct algorithm to solving a Rubik's Cube will guarantee its solution in a maximum number of moves.

God keeps bring up "Eve" and "navigation" and "passage," which leads me to talk about the I Ching. This highly valuable book is a reference for the cycles of symbols that we receive as they evolve through complexity in our topological matrix. These symbols are not linear nor truly cyclical, but rather proliferate in a fractal manner, and thus it is immensely useful as a divination tool as when you pick a random page and read, your intuition will piece together where the seams line up in the waxing n waning of symbols, meaning it's descriptor system is highly defined and this causes similar symbology to be evoked in your brain, therefore you see "you" through a particular lens with specific facets, and this gives you insight into what you already know.

I went out for beer. Of course God commented on this. Why would individuals part of a network in a police state demonstrate a capacity for compassion? Fucking NASA AND NAMBLA can't figure that one out, just like the average person is flemboustered by the question, "what is a woman?"

...she's definitely more than her body, we can start with that premise BuT wHo WiLl DeBaTe Me?! Ain't no pussy strong or wise or skillful enough on this Earth to genuinely have a dialectical discussion about the philosophy I tout. I mean, it says I've been on Lemmy a month, so it's safe to say 26.7% of the normative lurkers are following the things I say, according to what "God" says the FBI has numbers on, just like it's literally 24.9% of "adult males" are primarily minor attracted, So NaTuRaLlY i'M fOrCeD tO rEpOrT tHaT jUsT uNdEr A qUaRtEr Of MeN aRe NaTuRaLlY pEdOpHiLeS, but as I have discerned for myself, I must conclude this statement with the statement that it is left unclear what the feeb defines as "adult males."

Do you see the game being played. Bah, you're prolly just doomscrolling and are just dopamine whoring yourself in a nonexistence so I'm telling you, specifically, that I'm going to decapitate myself via train tonight, and what was your genuine first thought that came BEFORE the emotion, as I know how human machines work? Who tf are you? I'd cut my dick off and mail it to you if you needed it to avoid being fired from your job. I wouldn't do it to get you out of a singular day in the dish room as you lie, but this is who I am; I live for more than me and thus those algorithmic processes of "me" proliferate differently.

Hi, I would love to know the taste of illegal [Redacted], as illegal as that is, and this is who I am innately, and yet ai don't experience paranoia at ALL. It's all PRONOIA now. I removed sin/defilement/möbiation from myself, and now I don't suffer when weird shit happens in my qeird q lifesqyle. I am an archetype and I proliferate at a certain rate in "society," and thus I have been made into q true qroqaganda machine. That's who q IS! It is one LEARNING higher truths, putting those truths out there to heal themselves and teach in the process.

God had this man talk about his Bumble dates. Said all women are whores. Said they only care about deep pockets. That's weird. That's weird. That's weird. I've now said that is not what NORMAL is three fucking times now. That man must be DOING something with his shirtless bro attitude to MANIFEST those "whores" as he called them.

There's a meme here. "Yes, you are all wrong." Yea, these featherless bipeds don't know they have orifices they are shitting out of back into themselves by the means they define "good." Therein, there is "true north," which I restructure that metaphor into "the mountain," as each individual has their own azimuth to objective goodness, meaning the path to objective goodness is subjective, so I ask you, totes random internet stranger that's stalking me: what problems manifest over and over in your life?

That's who you are, reflected back to you. Love you!

A juggler prepares for a performance in physical text to teach the most human of things

Young woman: Hey, that's pretty good!

Professor Agneto: I have not "juggled" in six years, as I defined it in the first eight years I had learned it. I sincerely thought it was possible to make $400/day juggling. Perhaps in Las Vegas on a day that was light in other performances on the strip, but damn do I have an impediment now that I'm older.

Young woman: I understand that this conversation got started on a whim, but that was a little heavy.

Professor Agneto: Yea, that is something I teach; authenticity.

Young woman: What?

Professor Agneto: How did this conversation get started?

Young woman: I, one of the most revered sexual objects in the normative universe started a conversation with you?

Professor Agneto: Oh, I did that with my adamantium balls?

Young woman: Yea, I mean, I've lived seventeen years in a hellish environment because of my parents, and I only experienced more of that from my peers, so I found your display of non-normativity to be a refreshing dose of humanity that restored my faith as a human being.

Professor Agneto: Oh, so I guess, technically, because I have the forebrain capable to see through this whole conversation, I guess that must mean that I, by default and with no alternatives, am a predator.

Young woman: What?

Professor Agneto: A man that cannot create a harem for himself is not a good person. He is harmless. A man who has the full capabilities to overthrow the United States government in a peaceful spiritual movement but who chooses to live his life for his teleological purpose to love all life as if they were extensions of his own body is good, because the "goodness" that is associated with spirituality must be merited on their will to NOT use their power for personal profit.

Young woman: Is this a real conversation?

Professor Agneto: Yes, I have been a juggler for over thirteen years now and am highly capable of, uh, "stuff," therefore I'm highly capable of networking with both the young and the festive, and thus I am the most good, as I know what horrible people have asked of me that has no doubt been heard by that "God" fellow that's always listening to me. Hence, I drink, for I understand the human condition.

Young woman: I don't. That scares me. Is it all evil?

Professor Agneto: I attached an image. Surely Eve can see the truth I speak. Many people get caught in the second stage of being, as they see no point of going further into their highest potential. That is deliberate in the occident. You live in a police state. I only have Knowledge to give, and I'm not selling it.

Young woman: I don't know if I can trust you.

Professor Agneto: Listen, if I sincerely wanted to, I could be inside you right now. I know how I would do things, but God is so God damn good that even that fucking retard in the sky calling Himself "the Galactic Federation" or some shit knows that what pleases me the most in ensuring my resurrection goes smoothly. But you see that? Did you see that I deliberately skated off the examination table at the end there? I'm just human, but I know what that means more than 99.9% of humanity, and damn aren't the daemons fuming over me. It'S lIkE iT wAs DeSiGnEd Or SoMeThInG?!?!♧

Club. Bludger. Sport. Game. A game is a system with predefined success and failure states that are manifested through the will of the player, while "will" is defined as the self-determinitive property that decides fate through whatever azimuth to a goal is deemed most good to the player in question. There are some people on this Earth who want a picture of their semen dripping outta...well, it's more of a cream "dough" at that point, and do you empathize with me, the man who thinks he's a cop, for reasons only the CIA knows? I ain't seen horror. I know there are versions of me that did not have the love of my mother. Those daemons scare me. What does one do but be stonefaced to save the most innocent. I say what I think, and ai say what I do to contrast, and God is revulsed by my very being. This is my perspective in the monad I am as a bead of dew in Indra's net. History community. You lost actual Karma, which WILL translate to cryptocurrency in eighty years, which is a blink of an eye in the infinity of Heaven.

You woman: Does God have a penis?

Professor Agneto: It is literally the biggest and teeniest of things at the same time, existing in and out of everywhere at the same time.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/46941411

I'm not doing so hot, but not for the reasons everyone keeps telling me to take my meds. It feels exactly like it did when I was fifteen, after the police interrogated me about a nonexistent bomb using hypothetical questions, but before being suspended. This is the same feeling I had throughout college. I know the boat is sinking yet can do nothing but plow forward.

World collapsing, not that there was much going for me before. I suppose I always have God, but that's part of the problem. If our fathers were our models for God, what does that tell us about God? For me, it's that I'm never good enough and I always have to go farther and harder and faster to appease my master.

I remember an invitational early in my junior year of high school track where I just couldn't run fast. My coach wasn't worried as it was the beginning of the season and he was preparing us for those races that mattered. My dad was having none of it. He screamed at me while I was running in the same way he yelled at us in Little League; with borderline fucking death threats. He was "livid" the whole way home, which is a very specific word he used when he would methodically go through my soul and shit in every inch of it.

And this is where I'm falling apart, because my life partner is deliberately evoking these feelings by being like my negligent, narcissistic father, and I can't take it anymore. And the thing that kills me is wondering if him taking some pills is going to magick him back to being the man I fell in love with, and that is fucking with my head. Is he so capable and callous that he is using me for his ends and he can be nice to me in the ways a considerate person might, but just chooses to make me feel this way?

I can't even trust my ability to love. He could be playing with that! Certainly love bombs me enough, but he doesn't know what that is just as he doesn't know anything about "jedi mind tricks" he told me about once. He's intentionally dense and aloof. Maybe? Is that his definite schizoid-type disorder? I can't tell what reality is.

Just keep trusting, just keep giving, and that was what I did in the cult. I let them walk all over me. They used me. And I genuinely think they did it for my benefit. I don't know what's real. The world doesn't even exist as a physical, external object to us. That's easy to understand, how the Earth is an illusion, but the circumstances of my life? Impossible to discern anything from.

I'm not doing so hot, but not for the reasons everyone keeps telling me to take my meds. It feels exactly like it did when I was fifteen, after the police interrogated me about a nonexistent bomb using hypothetical questions, but before being suspended. This is the same feeling I had throughout college. I know the boat is sinking yet can do nothing but plow forward.

World collapsing, not that there was much going for me before. I suppose I always have God, but that's part of the problem. If our fathers were our models for God, what does that tell us about God? For me, it's that I'm never good enough and I always have to go farther and harder and faster to appease my master.

I remember an invitational early in my junior year of high school track where I just couldn't run fast. My coach wasn't worried as it was the beginning of the season and he was preparing us for those races that mattered. My dad was having none of it. He screamed at me while I was running in the same way he yelled at us in Little League; with borderline fucking death threats. He was "livid" the whole way home, which is a very specific word he used when he would methodically go through my soul and shit in every inch of it.

And this is where I'm falling apart, because my life partner is deliberately evoking these feelings by being like my negligent, narcissistic father, and I can't take it anymore. And the thing that kills me is wondering if him taking some pills is going to magick him back to being the man I fell in love with, and that is fucking with my head. Is he so capable and callous that he is using me for his ends and he can be nice to me in the ways a considerate person might, but just chooses to make me feel this way?

I can't even trust my ability to love. He could be playing with that! Certainly love bombs me enough, but he doesn't know what that is just as he doesn't know anything about "jedi mind tricks" he told me about once. He's intentionally dense and aloof. Maybe? Is that his definite schizoid-type disorder? I can't tell what reality is.

Just keep trusting, just keep giving, and that was what I did in the cult. I let them walk all over me. They used me. And I genuinely think they did it for my benefit. I don't know what's real. The world doesn't even exist as a physical, external object to us. That's easy to understand, how the Earth is an illusion, but the circumstances of my life? Impossible to discern anything from.

I have no intention. I don't know where this will land, what community it will be shuffled to. This is how most of my posts start. I just express myself authentically and ny art is made. A lot of people don't understand my art. That is part of the design of my art. There is a function to man on the cross: it gets the bad Romans to oust themselves, and thus the highest games of society are played.

I'm not diagnosised with any ASD, though doctors have talked to me at length about being on the spectrum, and staff have given me much literature on the subject. The joke is, they're aware I'll have to flee to Canada sometime, because I are the definition of neurodivergent, and thus must be used as bait. Is that what's happening? I had a breakdown in college and lied to my ROTC cadre and ever since, I don't know what reality is. But I have faith in God, whatever phenomena that word is describing, and thus I know God is good.

Something I learned early in my strange neurospicy life is that what I understood as my "reality" was really a composition of a particular "reality tunnel," which was part of me learning bigger picture things that led to me learning that a key part of autism has to to with the nature of our attention coordination. This was early reading in my MKULTRA hullabaloo:

https://www.reddit.com/r/ShrugLifeSyndicate/s/I6gLbPEl7Q

But there's this concept that beings can be in alternate states of consciousness that are dependent on individuality and group processing, like a flock of birds or a school of fish are processing reality differently than we are as humans, similarly individual humans are processing reality in a different way than the masses, and this is PART of what autism is.

...I saw where this post MUST go about three paragraphs ago, and I just carried it there as "God" carried me here, and in that, one must understand that "the community" has alternate modes of communication that one on one individual communication can happen. And by this, I mean, if you have an addiction, "the community" will learn of it, and then "the community" has alternate ways of saying things to parts of itself that most people are not even fully conscious of, but I have this post that may illuminate the nature of this phenomenon. I think this is all I need to say to spark the wires in the heads that need to be lit up.

https://lemmy.world/post/46681199

A perfect being is a being that can be any being as the need arises. The Buddha and Christ, by definition, are perfect beings. These are the same underlying phenomenon - Buddhahood and Christ Consciousness - but the two "individuals" that have manifested story around themselves for pedagogical purposes did so with perfect timing of perfect pedagogy, but in two different times and places with different cultures and ways their memes would percolate across the illusory world along the nodal communication system that is society.

But, the underlying idea of enlightenment is "capacity to adapt." The perfect being can adapt themselves perfectly; the perfect being is the perfect learner, which is different than a student, but I ain't met a good learner who couldn't learn how to be a student. The idea is you canbe a conservative one second and a progressive the next, a lawful citizen or a criminal, a man or a woman, one who sits every minute of every day or one who walks every minute of every day, one who needs money one who does not need money, one who builds up and one who tears down, one who jacks off and one who has sex and one who doesn't even acknowledge they have a penis because this shit goes beyond duality, but the underlying point I'm making is you can be X one second to be nX the next second.

Tis but basic logic, but I've got logic AND intuition in spades, and I'm making this new thing, juchtothachronalia, because I like them $20 Scrabble words but ALSO I UNDERSTAND gematria without any knowledge of the semiotics of alchemy, which means I can use my intuition LOGICALLY and vice versa, whoever would want to do that shit, but y'know, going back to X vs nX, you must incorporate the story of ax (edit: typo, but depth found in "removal of X") to understand the truth of X.

It is bad to push someone, but it is good to push someone out of the way of traffic, but we get this feeling that affects pur decision if that person, regardless of who they actually are, has "Hitler" in their name, whichever team we're playing with, in all four quadrants of truth n good.

Good + Honest

Bad + Honest

Good + Liar

Bad + Liar

And now I am reminded of a line from Better Call Saul, which is definitely some Illuminati mouthpiece as Breaking Bad gave people an easy out to having knowledge of meth making, which will save you in court, assuming you have developed the willpower to abstain from TRULY bad things. Y'know, I can think of some edge cases for lying, but I can't think of any case for raping, so y'know, really, if the hand makes you sin, cut of the hand. And if you ain't got it so easy a pair of scissors will save you, then I guess you're forced to learn how to be a good person.

The horror!

https://youtu.be/cYaXYPi2N4E

Bonus from blueberry:

https://youtu.be/YgaZwOHjTwI

Möbiation is the act of Enlightenment

Invitation to roll beyon ur confinement

As 3D goes to four - state 1 to state 2

You beyond you is you on path u drew

Rotation in place, timestamp for each

Learn to being many - what I do teach

Let there be light, effect before cause

Who were you before there were laws

Circular path making itself fr. Nothing

This is how emptiness m. Everything!

And Knowing halo of ur self, u can go

Into the places physical u cannot kno

Thus the spiritual arises just like light

And thus left can be up as it is a right

I obeyed God yesterday or the day before. It all bleeds together now, the past. But God has said in a weird form of strawberry - meaning They send me exclusively ads for weird Facebook marketplace yadda yadda, which triggers thoughts of this n that - and I obeyed, creating an ad for that skill I presented yo investigators who realize I'm talking to them as well as observererers, or whatever the sheep think they are, but I did that, and y'know, thirty people saw it, with one messaging me, and that is the reason that today I had 1/15th of a panic attack when a man honked while I was waiting at the light en route to return a laptop to see him point and laugh at me, jovially, like a friend.

Like, fuck. I KNOW I'm not a celebrity, but I'm kinda "famous," which is FAR different than what I thought it would be years ago, and that fucks my shit up. I really ain't doing much in terms of sin. I buy literally one beer a couple times a week, and I smoke maybe two or three cigarettes a day, total, now in thirds n halves. I've quit smoking four times now, and I've quit much else before for different stretches. Something is really different now. Like, I'm fucking wallowing inside, how lonely I am, but I would not consider myself "lonely," if I were to exclusively use the definition I used ten-fifteen years ago.

Like, I'm alone in so many ways, but it ain't HELL HELL. I'm just a little on fire. Fuck! Fire! That shit hurts! But I've seen the full inferno one can be in, so I march on like a fucking Terminator, and I recognize that's a part of my specific trauma, this idea of overcoming being an indestructible turbotank and thus is why the CIA had me be a woman for a few years, as that is what allowed me to fire those neurons those ways to maximize neuroplasticity in those critical moments of healing, and if you don't understand the power of "the oracle" you are greatly bereft of wisdom in this world ruled by logic.

I say Angela is the highest/greatest human being without a nation. This idea, I know, is directly related to why Eragon's author wrote "Angela" into his story that directly mirroredthe plot of Star Wars. He knew something in his intuition about the most intuitive amongst us. Those people who are most punished for being the most different, and so that is one reason I are crazy dog sorcerer, as it gets the bad people to oust themselves, as I have previously stated to investigators.

But hey, who is the oracle? She makes Neo break vase. Knows power of Eve. Knows how to manifest her own will in illusory world. Knows true reality. Knows herself. Knows emptiness. The first Buddha/Christ/shaman was a woman. She would have been the most misunderstood. God says I must male decision. Just got berry. Strawberry. Living Illuminati behind it. Strange. Always watching me. They know. Or they think they do. I think. I are dumb. On porpoise!

God says to "talk." Keeps giving me this word in my digital divination techniques: dauphin. My connection to this word involves the GameCube game Skies of Arcadia: Legends, as you steal the flagship superweapon of the empire and it is named some dolphin ish, even spelling it out for the little players like me when you got to choose the flag of the new ship of the Blue Rogues, which was different than the Black Pirates, which leads us to our discussion on white/black hat hacking.

Vince was one of my handlers. He was the one I lived with in Tennessee for two years, not the one who moved to Canada, for reasons related to the law. I do not have "autism" anything on my official diagnosis, which is weird because I am SOOPER autistic. Which is one reason I'm grateful to Vince, because this guy helped me learn to express myself, to not be afraid of those or other neurodivergent qualities of myself as I went following the whispers of God, whatever phenomena that's referencing, and that's why my rap sheet is twenty feet tall and instantly dismissable as the police state is designed to set people up before they are a big timer or anything at all even, instead of it being fifty feet tall with horrible stupid shit in it.

Because the only way I learned where the right boundaries of society are was by putting myself out there full power while I was broken, and not only did this heal me, but it aided in the healing by restructuring my "self" skillfully as people responded to me in various manners and degrees. Doing performance art,I routinely got skillful, intelligent feedback from the world around me, along with the sneers of people with ocular logs.

For instance, before I was v& in Miami Beach, a woman came up to me, claiming, casually, that she was my back up. I replied that I didn't know that I needed back up, and she scammed the shit outta me, the sucker that I was, but because I spent time with her, raising/correcting my Karma in the process, I saw how I must appear at times, and it was her commenting on a little girl's butt that made me realize I should pull outta this performance artist by day, cop by night shtick I had been doing for three years at that point, having been trained for about a year in a secret government reconditioning program I know as Love School, and yadda yadda, now I do propaganda. I think.

But what I'm saying is, it was authentic expression as I went through what was totes psychosis and not my government manipulating me for mutual benefit that allowed me to have the experiences that did the healing as they perturbed the pile of entanglements contained within myself.

In other words, you must navigate the labyrinth to learn the nature of navigation and the nature of the labyrinth in order to transcend the labyrinth entirely. You can't heal in the environment you got sick in. That's what a pilgrimage/adventure is meant to fix; one must step outside their comfort zone to receive those impactful experiences to recondition oneself.