this post was submitted on 27 May 2024
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Why can't it be something fun like swapping surnames and then creating a portmaneau or blended name for the kids.

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[–] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 45 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

"We should reject the patriarchy and refuse to adopt our husband's surnames as our own!""

"Right on!"

"We must take back what is ours and overthrow men's dominance over women. We should fight to keep our maiden names."

"Yeah!!
Wait a sec - we're going to reject the cultural practice of taking on our husband's surnames and we're going to keep the ones that we were born with?"

"Exactly!"

"So we will keep the surnames that our fathers gave us in order to reject the patriarchy?"

"I... uhh... hang on, let me check my notes here."


(I'm not shitting on anyone who chooses to do this btw; you do you. After all you aren't property to be transferred from one owner to another. I'm just illustrating why bourgeois feminism is a dead end and why Marxist feminism is the only real path forward for women's liberation.)

[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago (4 children)

I mean you gotta start somewhere. My surname might also be my grandfather's surname, but people don't think about that, they think about how my surname is my mother's surname instead of my father's.

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[–] utopologist@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

When my ex and I got married, we picked a new surname that we both liked but didn't have any connection to. We're not together anymore but I have no plans to return to my original name b/c I still like it and basically all of my friends and colleagues know me by the current name

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[–] AutomatedPossum@hexbear.net 41 points 2 years ago (3 children)

This is incorrect, the feminist stance is that women decide if they or their wife get to keep the surname in a game of axe throwing. In case of a draw, both women end up with a hyphenated double name.

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[–] supafuzz@hexbear.net 33 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Women keeping their last names as in such notoriously feminist paradises as all of Latin America

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's still from the woman's patriline though.

If we had one name transmitted patrilineally and one name transmitted matrilineally, that'd be really cool, and would also not cascade beyond 2 surnames.

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago (3 children)

No, children should get all their parents' surnames ad infinitum. My grandkids will have 8 surnames. Their grandkids will have 32.

Say what you want, but this system has the fewest edge cases.

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

Jugemu Jugemu Gokou no Surikire Kaijari Suigyou no Suigyou Matsu Unrai Matsu Fuurai Matsu Kuuneru Tokoro ni Sumu Tokoro Yabura Kouji no Bura Kouji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shuuringan Shuuringan no Guurindai Guurindai no Ponpokopii no Ponpokonaa no Choukyuumei no Chousuke but every part except "Chousuke" was actually the surname

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Why's it gotta start with you, rather than retroactively accounting for as far back in your ancestry as you can go?

And how do you do the ordering of all those names?

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It starts with me because I'm a special boy.

The ordering is alphabetical of course.

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[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

No, children should get all their parents' surnames ad infinitum. My grandkids will have 8 surnames. Their grandkids will have 32.

Say what you want, but this system has the fewest edge cases.

Having names like the ones breeders give to purebred dogs would be hilarious.

[–] lil_tank@lemmygrad.ml 30 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

Abolish surnames, also abolish names, replace everything by 72 alphanumeric characters codes that are absolutely unique so we abolish all discrimination and administrative ambiguity ^/s^

[–] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The advent of surnames in Europe heralded the downfall of feudalism so I have a soft spot in my heart for them based on that historical fact.

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I propose the following:

  1. Upon marriage, check who has the rarer surname
  2. The spouse with the more common surname should change it to the rarer surname
  3. In the case of divorce, the spouse with the changed surname should keep the surname

Of course, people are free to do whatever they want, but this is just an idea. Because unlike the convention of always taking the husband's surname — which inevitably leads to surname extinction and a thoroughly unequal distribution of surnames — this system would by my reckoning gradually lead to a completely equal distribution of surnames.

[–] Vampire@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This done in Spain, e.g. Pablo Ruiz Picasso is called Pablo Picasso

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

That's related but it's not quite the same thing.

[–] PapaEmeritusIII@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago (2 children)

? Is this really the feminist stance? I thought it was that women should have the choice of doing what they want with their surnames

[–] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

This is a historical quirk but, in case you had any illusions about us living in the 20s, the (bourgeois) feminist movement for women to keep their surnames upon marriage kicked off in the 1920s in the US.

There's a whole essay in here somewhere about how bourgeois feminism was co-opted by capitalism from its very outset, how women became a target demographic for smoking, the colour green, why you have to add eggs into box cake mix, and the Guatemalan coup of Jacobo Arbenz and the Cuban revolution. Oh and Nazis and Sigmund Freud too, of course.

[–] invalidusernamelol@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

There's a whole essay in here somewhere about how bourgeois feminism was co-opted by capitalism from its very outset, how women became a target demographic for smoking, the colour green, why you have to add eggs into box cake mix, and the Guatemalan coup of Jacobo Arbenz and the Cuban revolution. Oh and Nazis and Sigmund Freud too, of course.

I want this as a tagline just for the immediate transition from putting eggs in cake mix to the Guatemalan coup. I got whiplash lol

[–] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

This story itself is a real trip. If I didn't know it by doing my own reading into all of it, there's zero chance I'd believe this is anything but some Pepe Silvia-tier rambling.

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[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

Ultimately yeah, but it's the difference between what an egalitarian world should look like vs how to normalise that choice in a patriarchal hegemony like the UK. Various european countries' past feminist/egalitarianism movements have resulted in laws that neither men nor women can change their names when married.

[–] rio@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago

We should give children a number starting at 7 trillion and counting backwards so future generations get worried about what happens when the number reaches zero

[–] absolutefuckinidiot@lemmygrad.ml 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You should both be forced to each separately pick a new completely unrelated name once married to make genealogy has hard as possible

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[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It costs money to legally change your name without a marriage certificate and making a fun portmanteau would cost a lot since you'd both have to pay.

That being said I know two couples who just go by the portmanteau but on legal documents use their birth last names

[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago (2 children)

It's ridiculous that you have to pay now to change your designator. Back in the late 40's my grandpa's name legally changed from "John" to "Jack" simply because he started writing his nickname on forms instead of his "real" name.

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[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago

i think it would be awfully confusing if we had lots of couples running around called pordmanitou. why would it be french anyway?

[–] AntiOutsideAktion@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Everybody gets a new surname after an extremely specific value on a color wheel. When you get married you both take a new name halfway between. I have the best ideas.

[–] AntiOutsideAktion@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

M #007D90 4 F #008270

Looking to marry up

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago

Just put all the letters from both names together and mix them up like you’re playing scrabble. Then see what the best single word score you can come up with together, or just a fun name that has a funky pronunciation.

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"No I want to keep my name."
"What, the name you got from your father??"

I've had that short circuit a few people. Honestly though, the paperwork is a super obnoxious.

[–] PapaEmeritusIII@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I’m keeping my name when I get married, and if someone said this to me I’d think they were being super obnoxious.

I don’t think of it as my father’s name, I think of it as my name, since I’ve had it my entire life.

EDIT: Seriously though, why is this even something you’re trying to “short-circuit” people on? Women get enough flak for their decisions as it is.

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[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Why not fuck the patriarchy by refusing marriage altogether? Who the hell needs the state to bind you together?

[–] zed_proclaimer@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago (2 children)

who the hell needs the state to bind you together

Anybody who needs to pay taxes or get child tax credits

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[–] BasementParty@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

There's a reason why gay marriage was such an important battle. Marriage is a legal contract that has numerous benefits including inheritance, right to decide care, visitation rights, and being eligible for benefits to name a few.

It's not just a " piece of paper that says we're in love." It's a huge fucking deal that offers legal protection for your partner and yourself.

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