this post was submitted on 15 May 2024
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Chapotraphouse

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[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 77 points 2 years ago (2 children)

reeducation camps for every American. this is not ironic

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 62 points 2 years ago

Gotta start with just plain old education camps

[–] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Who's gonna staff all these camps?

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

Clones of Comrade Xi

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[–] StalinIsMaiWaifu@lemmygrad.ml 72 points 2 years ago

Once again joining the pandemic on the side of the disease. Praise Grandpa Nurgle!

[–] supafuzz@hexbear.net 69 points 2 years ago (4 children)

the government should start wholeheartedly recommending unhealthy things so that child-brained Americans do the opposite

[–] EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net 53 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

"Go back to work, covid is only contagious for 3 days. Masks are no longer required and we will black bag you if you wear one to a protest."

They're already doing this and Americans don't actually care what they say, they just do what they want to. "You can't tell me what to do" only comes out when the government tells them to do the opposite of what they want. When told to do the thing they were already going to do, they just take it as permission to do it to an absurd extreme. It's not oppositional defiance, so reverse psychology doesn't work. It's individualist ideology taken to its logical conclusion.

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 40 points 2 years ago

"The government recommends you eat an all meat diet."

Jordan Peterson: "clean your room and eat broccoli, bucko"

[–] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 30 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Nah that won't work. Chuds have no consistency besides inconsistency, they have a counter-productive sixth sense for this shit. If the government tells them to do shit they don't want to do that's come from the Judaeo-Bolsehvik trans-satanist kabal. If the government tells them to do something they want to do that's coming from the Patriots loyal to Trump within the system. That or they just strategically ignore things they've previously said.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago

You're likely correct, it's pure brainworms all the way down

[–] Hello_Kitty_enjoyer@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

the government should start recommending only healthy things so child-brained Americans continue to do what they're doing now (except worse)

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 49 points 2 years ago

The rest of the world as the US kills itself by deliberately infecting every citizen with H5N1: sit-back-and-enjoy

(Sadly it will spread to every country in the world as the US sends out plague missionaries)

[–] coeliacmccarthy@hexbear.net 45 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Hello_Kitty_enjoyer@hexbear.net 35 points 2 years ago

you fed the chickens arsenic so that you could feed the cows arsenic bird shit (this is why US rice has 3x the arsenic content of Indian/EAsian rice)

[–] jimmyjohnsandwichfive@hexbear.net 45 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Why, why does this country have to be like this?

[–] Maoo@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago

Ahem ze death drive eez stronk mit deez ones

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 40 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's only a matter of time at this point.

I hope we're lucky enough to get another lockdown.

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 51 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago

That's fair.

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 37 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Before the genocide, TikTok would show me "all natural" type cc (because I would muh debate them in the comments like a dummy).

I remember this one lady that talked about how she would buy raw milk and puppies from an Amish family.

Another lady made an affogatto with raw milk ice cream.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Another lady made an affogatto with raw milk ice cream.

That situation is perfectly darkly hilarious plus it has panache. I'm stealing it.

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

She also had a new Jersey accent

Edit: I couldn't find that specific TikTok and I don't want to continue browsing the raw milk side of TikTok agony-deep

For your sin of making me go there, in the name of good Samaritanism I gift you this

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLbNA3PM/

I saw it so you have to too

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

For a second I was very confused and thought you made an mysterious joke about one of my step-moms who was a Brit.

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

Nope. That was her accent.

I'm gonna make a master post of brain rot TikToks I come across

[–] Hello_Kitty_enjoyer@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

you can't make an avocado from ice cream. not spinach either

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

Can't make an egg without breaking some chickens

[–] CrackBurger@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 34 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yes. Unless you have more information, its safe to assume most Amish dog breeders are puppy mills.

[–] Greenleaf@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The Amish are known for being pretty terrible to puppies, honestly maybe worse than your standard puppy mill.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago

Yup, I personally have my own mortar and pestle to mill my puppies; can't beat that freshness

[–] Speaker@hexbear.net 36 points 2 years ago

Well, they just had such consistent and well-received handling of the COVID pandemic that I'm sure this is a temporary setback.

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 28 points 2 years ago

This is a bizarre version of the streisand effect.

Why are Americans?

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 22 points 2 years ago

~~despite~~ because

[–] Tiocfaidhcaisarla@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This is literally a Portlandia bit

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago

I wish we could live in the insufferable "put a bird on it" or "guy obsessed with Pet Sounds engineering techniques" timeline instead, but so do all who live to see such times

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

Praise be to Papa Nurgle, our unholy Plague Lord.

[–] Poison_Ivy@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Tbh the beast in me says "Let Them Die"

The human in me says "This needs to stop before someone dies of something stupid and preventable"

[–] macabrett@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

As an immunocompromised person it is in my best interest to let you know that mostly they won't die, mostly they'll get people like me killed.

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[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

Tbh the beast in me says "Let Them Die"

That's the neat part about plague rats -- they take everyone else with them

[–] Taser@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 years ago

Remember, you can get tuberculosis from raw milk, and it's contagious through aerosol 👀,

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Maybe soon the UK phrase "bits" will enter everyday speech.

CW: pus and blood"What are the little dots?"

"The little dots are the tasty bits. They've got the pus and blood."

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago

Steven Universe voice The bits! The bits!

[–] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

I think the pus is there throughout anyway

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

Spread that nicely on some toast dearie, it's a good replacement for lard

[–] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If you have cash on hand, now is the perfect time to hoard Raw milk so you can resell to chuds at well above market value as "pre-cultured" or "aged". Maybe print up a a few thousand "got raw milk" shirts to sell online or something.

[–] The_Riddler@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago
[–] QueerCommie@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago