Today we learnt... : memes

[-] yukichigai@kbin.social 195 points 10 months ago

What a horrible day to have genitals.

[-] Dick_Justice@lemmy.world 131 points 10 months ago

Why did I learn how to read?

[-] VanillaGorilla@kbin.social 42 points 10 months ago

Society forced you. Time to burn it all down.

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[-] moonsnotreal@lemmy.blahaj.zone 94 points 10 months ago

Ok I guess we both have it bad

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 27 points 10 months ago

I’ve had both happen, yeah both suck

[-] SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org 22 points 10 months ago

How?

[-] TaleOfSam@kbin.social 41 points 10 months ago

Life's wild, my friend

[-] Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 10 months ago

Some of us go from having one set of bits to having a different set of bits.

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[-] GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

A fart is nowhere near as bad as the inside of a dirty toilet 😅

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[-] wil@lemmy.blahaj.zone 80 points 10 months ago

As a pussy haver. What the fuck

[-] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 35 points 10 months ago

Today we encounter the "pussy havers" and the "pussy have nots" learning side by side! Spectacular!

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[+] WhyIDie@lemmy.ml 68 points 10 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

[deleted]

[-] bingbong@lemmy.dbzer0.com 68 points 10 months ago

The dreaded double dutch

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[-] grayman@lemmy.world 64 points 10 months ago

I was helping my daughter (3) pee. Pee came out of 3 places at once at one point, then 2.

I'll keep my ding dong, thanks.

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[-] kevinbacon@lemmy.world 54 points 10 months ago

W-what?

[-] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago

It's true.

[-] Nfntordr@lemmy.world 51 points 10 months ago

If only my dick was big enough to touch the inside of the bowl

[-] spader312@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago

You don't want it to be, the cold touch of a toilet bowl specially a dirty public restroom gives me chills

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[-] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 49 points 10 months ago

Relax guys. We all know girls don't fart.

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[-] koyo@ani.social 46 points 10 months ago

im with everyone here. what the fuck

[-] Scrof@sopuli.xyz 45 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

At least we can all relate to water splashes.

[-] Mongostein@lemmy.ca 37 points 10 months ago

Oh man I had diarrhea in a porta-potty a couple weeks ago and got some splash back. I was not a happy camper.

[-] papajohn@lemmy.ca 17 points 10 months ago

I call bullshit. No one survives the blue touch.

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[-] xpinchx@lemmy.world 22 points 10 months ago

Poseidon's Kiss™️

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[-] Dream_state@aussie.zone 38 points 10 months ago

The old witches kiss

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[-] OtakuAltair@lemm.ee 34 points 10 months ago

What the fuck

[-] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago

I'm a guy and I've had those farts that escape up between your leg and balls and pop out the top

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[-] Fhek@lemm.ee 22 points 10 months ago

The requeefining.

[-] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago

When I shit my dick touch the water

[-] victron@programming.dev 40 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

You're not supposed to shit in the urinals, my dude.

[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 18 points 10 months ago

Then why are they butt-level???

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[-] Mercival@lemm.ee 20 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

My friend told me of the horror of your menstrual cup falling into a public toilet. I'd take licking the bowl over that shit any day of the week.

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[-] platysalty@kbin.social 18 points 10 months ago

Alright how many of you in here trying to make your dick fart right now?

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[-] db2@sopuli.xyz 17 points 10 months ago

Worse when it touches the water though.

[-] TFS@lemmy.world 37 points 10 months ago

Just wrap it around your thigh, problem solved

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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

(cis)Women also will never know the pain of sitting on their own balls.

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[-] Case@unilem.org 17 points 10 months ago

I'd rather re-fart my own fart, than have my dick dip into a public toilet again.

One is slightly, uncomfortable, maybe? The other opens the mind to all the diseases that could potentially infect your dick in a public toilet. Unlikely? Sure. Possible? In some cases, with some diseases, yes - however slim.

[-] sagrotan@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

Fat ass man here, can fart in 3 voices at the same time, I conserve one in the under ass, one in the upper ass and let them out the same time. You should've seen the admiring faces from the two cops in the front of the car. I even did it with cuffs. They totally wanted autographs.

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[-] MissJinx@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago

weirdly accurate

[-] mub@lemmy.ml 13 points 10 months ago

I bet it is great requeef when it comes out!

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[-] Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 10 months ago

This is an excellent advertisement for bottom surgery: I want to have experienced both.

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[-] TheLobotomist@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

Can some woman confirm this is legit? Seems very hard to believe

[-] RaptorMother@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago

It is... And honestly, I can't tell which one is worse. I will say, the first time it happened, I was terrified, thought something was wrong with me

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[-] 93Akkord@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

So if you go down on a girl after she does this does that mean you're eating shit particles?

[-] BellaDonna@mujico.org 23 points 10 months ago

I mean, you're always probably going to a little bit, no big deal, but they're so close together that it just happens

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[-] dodgy_bagel@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 10 months ago

Had both.

Don't recommend either.

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