this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2026
386 points (96.8% liked)

Greentext

8959 readers
482 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] w3ird_sloth@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

The correct answer is to befriend the t-rex and then team up to kill the multi millionaires caging up people and extinct animals for violent entertainment.

[–] NotAnOtter@lemmus.org 9 points 1 day ago

Apparently T-Rex can live up to a couple weeks without food.

So I would spend most of that time pestering it, throwing rocks and stuff just to keep it awake and agitated. Ideally get it to chase me back into my indestructible hut.

After week 3, if it isn't dead, it will be so lethargic and ill that I could hack away at it's tail until enough bleeding finishes the job. It says I have food, it does not say he has food.

[–] janewaydidnothingwrong@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Poop on the knife, stab it anywhere I can reach when it is inevitably near the hut trying to get me. Repeat until infection does its work.

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Is that what a poop knife is?

[–] SirEDCaLot@lemmy.today 42 points 2 days ago (4 children)

This is easy.

We're locked in the arena. I'm safe in my indestructible hut. I also get food. So all I have to do is sit there and wait for the t-rex to starve to death and/or die of dehydration.

With literally zero expenditure of effort I'll make the $500mm in like two weeks.

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 days ago

If you're fed, it's highly likely the T Rex is also fed.

[–] NuanceDemon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (11 children)

A predator like that probably won't starve in a month. Its a bit hard to say, you could compare with a crocodile (larger ones can fast for 2 - 3 years) but they are cold blooded which is a huge metabolic advantage here.

Lions can go 2 weeks without eating, and are far smaller which means there's less of them to waste away before they perish. A massive predator like a rex would having huge amounts of mass to lose before it died.

Chances are they probably only ate every 1 to 2 weeks by default. A month is not much of a stretch for it, so you likely fail.

load more comments (11 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] wuffah@lemmy.world 211 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (9 children)

I would wait and hide, allowing the T-Rex to tire itself out. Then one night, when the T-Rex was especially tired and soundly asleep, I would carefully climb into the T-Rex’s cloaca. There I would stay for the rest of the month.

That’s it, you can keep the 500 million. I’ve already won.

[–] StupidBrotherInLaw@lemmy.world 64 points 3 days ago

Prose so beautiful it brought a tear to my eye.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] tigermountain@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

When was the last time it ate before going into the arena?

[–] Darcranium@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I used to have a recurring adventure dream/nightmare like this when I was a kid. Except the hut was NOT indestructible.

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

If I'm allowed to have alcohol then I molotov the T-Rex. I rinse and repeat until it collapses from exhaustion, stab it in the eyes, then set it on fire again.

If I can get a molotov in its mouth, even better.

[–] radix@lemmy.world 133 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Research suggests a T-Rex would need 50-100k kCal/day. Even if it ate a whole cow before starting, it would be hurting a week in.

Maybe it could survive the month, but would probably be severely malnourished at that point.

In any event, there is no mention of what happens if I fail to kill it. Does the experiment just end and I go home empty handed, or does the magic hut disappear and we fight it out to the death?

[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 76 points 3 days ago (6 children)
load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] blarth@thelemmy.club 110 points 3 days ago (9 children)

I implore anyone thinking of trying this to consider that the Tyrannosaurus rex measured up to 43 feet long, stood about 12 to 13 feet tall at the hip, and weighed roughly 4 to 9 metric tons. Its skull alone could weigh up to 600 pounds, and it had a bite force estimated at 35,000 to 57,000 newtons.

You would be better off with a TSA-approved blade against a Bengal tiger. There is no amount of strategic planning that can compensate for your being so incredibly outclassed that you’d have a better chance at building the first antigravity spaceship in your invincible hut within that same month.

Anyway, I would still probably try, for $500M.

[–] Glowstick@lemmy.world 50 points 3 days ago (18 children)

You would never take it in a straight fight, but there's a very good reason why humans absolutely dominate every animal on earth - our intelligence. The original post is too light on details, but in basically every scenario there almost certainly is some possible way to win that could be figured out.

[–] iocase@lemmy.zip 43 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Punji sticks. Me use poop and sharpness. Give big lizard tiny microbe. Big infection. Me eat meat and watch it slowly die painful horrible death weak from no food or water.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (17 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] jama211@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Wait until it falls asleep infront of the hut, slit it's throat and run back inside

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 3 points 1 day ago

You're not gonna get through it's hide fast enough lol

[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world 43 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Guys I just checked t Rex extinct easy money they already ded

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 2 points 1 day ago

Pat someone like $250 million to shoot it from outside the arena.

[–] MoammarSzyslak@reddthat.com 10 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Somewhat related comment. Is it possible to kill a human with a thumbtack?

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 4 points 2 days ago

You could totally rip open a neck artery with a thumbtack.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Cursed_Fig@lemmy.world 74 points 3 days ago (6 children)

no mention of the T Rex being provided food, so

I wait in my tent until it is practically dead of hunger or thirst, then I stab it

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] iuseasahibtw@ani.social 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Tell the T Rex the mysterious of the universe and watch it neck itself over the realization of it's futile existence.

Too easy.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 60 points 3 days ago (3 children)

The T rex must sleep at some point. Find a big artery close to the skin surface, sever it. Watch it bleed out to death.

Or just stay in the hut and enjoy one month of free food and rent.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Wait a month in the hut, if it dies on its own I win, if not I live anyway.

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago

And you got a month of free room and board!

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Godric@lemmy.world 26 points 3 days ago (13 children)

Humans used to hunt mammoths, and these fuckers don't even have a thick layer of fur armor. We used to hunt mammoths, because we were so fucking good at it we killed every last one of them.

I'm using my knife and making an atlatl, some spears smeared in shit, and I'm going hunting. Every time this bastard goes to sleep, he's getting a spear with a side of gangrene lodged in him. Fucker's missed out on 60 million years of techtree development, and has no reply to ranged strikes.

load more comments (13 replies)
[–] bstix@feddit.dk 49 points 3 days ago (7 children)

Keep feeding the t-rex with my unlimited supply of food. It will overeat and get lazy.

I've seen it happen with birds. If they eat too much you can just walk over and pick them up.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 32 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Wait can a T-Rex go an entire month without food? Are they feeding the thing while I am in there?

[–] Sewerking@sh.itjust.works 46 points 3 days ago (4 children)

As always, the T-Rex also gets fed, an indestructible shelter, and a hunting knife.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] CrimeIsLegalNow@ani.social 16 points 2 days ago

Whole bunch of dead nerds in these comments.

load more comments
view more: next ›