this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2026
713 points (93.6% liked)

Not The Onion

22824 readers
860 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ProfessorScience@lemmy.world 281 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Ok so, sure, other parents seem to have escalated things in a dumb way, but... for the rest of his life, this kid can say "I was so good at soccer they called the police on me... when I was 3."

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 94 points 4 days ago (4 children)

The episode has prompted online discussion about age-group rules, competitive balance in recreational youth leagues

Looks like some people are trying to defend this by arguing that kids are there to just have fun, not being outplayed. Which still completely ignores the fact, the the 3yo also was just having fun.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 28 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

I've been going to my sister's kids' games since they started and there's ALWAYS a huge skill disparity in the younger games. And honestly it's just one thing that seems to click and instantly make twice as good: predicting where the ball will go.

Kids that age ball chase because they have no idea what's going to happen next. They will literally stop and wait for an opposing player to make their move before deciding what to do.

It's exceedingly frustrating to watch but also really funny to see a whole field pause to watch a player do some tippy taps before kicking the ball straight into the feet of another.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

My 9 year-old's team played soccer against a team of giants. They had 3 kids at least a foot taller who manhandled them and could kick the length of the field and score. It wasn't fun and we were annoyed, but we didn't call the police.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 147 points 4 days ago (1 children)

My neighbor called the police when my dog chased their cat...in my backyard. I got off with a warning.

[–] CuddlyCassowary@lemmy.world 51 points 4 days ago (10 children)

Were they at least told to keep their cat inside? Or on their own property?!?

[–] MangoCats@feddit.it 46 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Laws vary from county to county, city to city, but in most places cats are free to roam, legally, and deliberately harming a cat for nothing more than trespass exposes you to animal cruelty charges punishable with fines and/or mandatory anger management and other counselling.

[–] CuddlyCassowary@lemmy.world 42 points 4 days ago (19 children)

Obviously I don’t know the specifics of this situation, but if a cat jumps into a fenced yard with a dog and gets chased, that seems pretty unfair since the dog owner is being responsible. But maybe that wasn’t the case here.

load more comments (19 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (9 replies)
[–] threeonefour@piefed.ca 112 points 4 days ago (1 children)

"Ball so hard motherfuckers wanna fine me"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] 20cello@lemmy.world 71 points 4 days ago (9 children)

Are people really that stupid in the usa?

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 71 points 4 days ago (1 children)

They voted for trump didn't they ? Twice. There's your answer.

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 39 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 28 points 4 days ago (1 children)

True. Only successful twice, but stupid three times.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 97 points 4 days ago (6 children)

I'm the one who called the cops. You guys don't understand just how good this toddler is, someone had to do something

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] NotAnOtter@lemmus.org 34 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (31 children)

I played soccer at that age, my siblings did too, and my cousins do as well.

When you're 3/4/5 you're not playing soccer. There are no rules, positions, score, winner/loser or goalies. It's "go kick the ball around time". When the ball goes out of bounds the coaches, who are often just some dad, just give it to a player that has not had a ball in a while. No one is trying to win, there is no 'win', it's all make believe for the kids to have a chance to run around for a while in the sun. If one super-player wins every match, that sucks for every other player on the field including his team since they don't even get to "win", there are no winners. They just have to sit around bored with the other team because there is no point.

So the league refunded the parents fee and asked them to not come back (trespassed them). They are no longer legally allowed on the field and for that matter, have no claim to participate in the league seeing as they were refunded. They weren't kicked out on the basis of race, it was many parents complaining "Hey, I paid ~$600 for 'go kick the ball around time', and you are facilitating a situation where my kid doesn't get to kick the ball". This isn't a competitive format it's gym hour and they are not receiving the product they paid for.

A 3 yearold hogging the ball all game, isn't doing anything wrong. He's 3. He's should be instructed to share more but he isn't doing something that warrants the cops involvement. The parents however, that understand the situation and failed to correct it / their kids ability to share, do. The adults that received their money back, understand it. The adults that received a trespass notice, understand it. The adults, who the cops talked to not the kid, understand it. The parents of the superplayers here at being assholes and injecting their kid in a situation they already KNOW will cause problems. All the kids are just being kids and the other parents, as far as I can tell, just want their kid to receive the product they paid for.

Too many people in this thread letting their emotions control their opinion due to a scary headline about a subject they apparently know very little about.

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 23 points 4 days ago (19 children)

If it was a matter and refunding and asking people to leave why was police involved? I can think of 100 ways to handle this without police starting with giving the other kids another ball.

load more comments (19 replies)
load more comments (30 replies)
[–] itsjustachairmary@lemmy.world 43 points 4 days ago

White people intuitively understanding how cops are there to protect white supremacy even though when asked directly they'll deny it and call themselves allies of black people

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 22 points 4 days ago (4 children)

There has to be more to the story

[–] Earthwormjim91@lemmy.world 107 points 4 days ago (27 children)

It’s a non-competitive league with specific rules about sharing and playing together. My kid played I-9 for flag football for a while and then we went over to a competitive league as he got better, and wanted to actually compete. I-9 is explicitly for just getting kids out to play.

Other parents complained because this kid should clearly be in a competitive league instead, and the other story I read was that the dad was filming for tik tok and loudly going on about how famous his kid was online. Other parents were fed up with the stunt and complained about it and the parent filming their kids to put online, so the league refunded the parents and asked them to take the kid to a different league if he wanted to play competitively. The parents then started losing it and arguing about it and causing a scene.

They didn’t call the cops on a black kid for being too good at soccer. They called the cops on his parents for orchestrating a stupid tik tok stunt and being assholes to all the other families there just to get their kids outside doing something as a team, and not leaving when asked.

If you want your kid to play competitively, go to a competitive league. There’s thousands out there. If you want to go have your kid dunk on non-competitive kids and ruin their fun, don’t be surprised when you get asked to leave, and don’t start throwing a little bitch fit when that happens.

[–] Ready_Player_01@lemmy.zip 21 points 4 days ago

If this is true, I have just one thing to say: context changes everything...

[–] Ravenheart@lemmy.zip 15 points 4 days ago

Well those sure are some important details. Thanks.

[–] dellish@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago

Well now, that's a completely different story that actually makes sense.

load more comments (24 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] crazycraw@crazypeople.online 52 points 4 days ago

12-15 years from now we may start to hear of an up and comer in the soccer leagues, and someone will rediscover his early roots.

just kidding. we'll have destroyed ourselves long before this delightful and skillful little boys dreams come true.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 37 points 4 days ago

Hello 911 what's your emergency?

...

Yeah we're not going to attend that.

[–] MilitantAtheist@lemmy.world 29 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Cop could have just said "Are you for real? Did you really waste police resources on this?"

[–] DupaCycki@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago (2 children)

They trespassed the kid, so the police had no choice but to escort him out. Which absolutely is a waste of police resources, but is also perfectly legal and follows the process.

In more reasonable countries, nobody can trespass you from a football field, unless you give them a very good reason like repeated physical assault.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 19 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Who trespassed the kid? Like I know it says "the league" but the league obviously didn't have any meeting or come to a consensus in time to make that decision.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] HCSOThrowaway@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago
[–] WizardofFrobozz@lemmy.ca 20 points 4 days ago

GUARANfuckingTEED to be the same parents who won’t shut the fuck up about participation trophies, how kids these days are too soft, and how nobody deserves anything they haven’t earned through white-approved work. Always preaching meritocracy, personal responsibility, and how losing builds character. Fucking snowflakes.

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.today 39 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Messi was like that when he was an adolescent. Theres video of him just tearing it up as the smallest kid in the game

The future looks bright for little Nevada

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 29 points 4 days ago

they realy just dint want a black kid make a white kid look bad, plus racist parents.

[–] kablez@lemmy.world 38 points 4 days ago (14 children)

Wow, those other parents are total pieces of shit.

load more comments (14 replies)
[–] GardenGeek@europe.pub 23 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Well, I'm not really sure how I'd feel about it from a moral standpoint (and I have no idea if, or what, might be going on behind the scenes). But from my perspective, the incident (and the media coverage) is great publicity for a boy who might one day make a living playing soccer. I mean, a 3-year-old who gets taken off the field by the police because he’s outplaying 5-year-olds might just be a sign of some talent...

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 35 points 4 days ago (3 children)

I'd rather him get the same treatment as his talentless white peers: safety, respect, education, support etc.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›