What if it's him or me?
this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2026
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Then, if you take the pledge, you die so that the panda may live.
That's thinking in absolutes. I trust you can find a reasonable resolution for all parties that doesn't involve killing the panda.
Have you tried to discuss the issue with that panda? Try getting a mediator to work through your issues together. Can't do that? Maybe just die. It's ok to do
"I just want to talk."
Being mauled by bear sounds interspersed with screams
I was going to make a joke about looking like bamboo, but apparently they CAN be dangerous
They’re solitary creatures and like to avoid confrontation, the World Wildlife Fund reports, but have sharp claws and teeth and may attack to protect themselves or their cubs if provoked.
The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Medicine examined three cases of giant panda attacks to warn people the animals could potentially be dangerous. In one case, a drunken tourist at the Beijing City Zoo jumped into the giant panda enclosure to try and pet the panda, only to have his calf severely bitten. He was left with a skin defect and an open injury. In the two other cases, male tourists accidentally fell into the enclosures, and the giant pandas bit them.
In another incident, a giant panda severely injured a Chinese wildlife conservationist. Wei Hua, who was looking after the panda, suffered severe wounds, including slashed ankles, broken bones, muscle loss and losing a third of his left palm, People's Daily Online reported.
There are no records of a panda having killed a human, but past attacks clearly show you should exercise caution if entering a panda’s space
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2022/10/22/are-pandas-dangerous-attacks/7962959001/
I will never kill another panda.
Right after this one…
... thanks..
Can I kill one first to know what I'm missing out on? Then I won't kill another.
hmmmmm, i wish you wouldn't, but i guess it's technically allowed :(
WDYM another 🤨
it was an accident.
Will you take the pledge with me?
How about a compromise? I won't kill anymore pandas on purpose, but if any pandas get in the way of my very legal bamboo clear-cutting operation, then I can't be held responsible for the actions my company would have to take to protect shareholder value!
I don't know...
Those pandas were probably terrorists anyways
i just fear that if we keep adding asteriskses to the pledge, it will eventually lose all its impact.
We at Panda Crucifiers Inc. share your concerns, that's why we're donating .00001% of the profits from this operation to a charity that raises funds for panda preservation awareness! They get money, and we get a tax write-off, it's a win-win!
At PCI, we have your best interests at heart. ™️
Thank you! This is big!
Ok, but can I at least emotionally maim the panda?
It's not technically killing, I guess, but why would you want to? The pledge implies love :(
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That's like the old trick yes-or-no question, "Have you stopped beating your wife?".
No? I just want people to stop killing pandas!
Sorry can't do it
pls :(
They know what they did
🤚 I pledge to kill another panda so PMJV doesnt have to
damn. uh.. hm...
Making promises you can't keep is a path to nobody trusting you. Be careful
Thank you! That's why I want others to take the pledge with me. That way we can be accounting buddies!
Is the licensee notice part of a joke I'm missing?
What if it's coming right for me, and I have let everyone know that it's coming right for me by shouting "IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR ME!"?
if you take the pledge, then in this instance you die. but it'd be the right thing to do.
what about after labor day?
better after labor day than never i guess
Sure do hope no panda will have any hot opinions after this pledge...
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OK, I'll give in and stop the panda massacre, but can't guarantee my husky will do the same.
The same applies to cats, squirrels, chihuahuas or any small-ish animal that chooses to risk it and dare wander into our backyard.
Thank you so much for taking the panda pledge!!! <3
Seriously thinking of getting my husky a Lemmy profile so that she can see the error of her ways (or troll all of us constantly 🤣).
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New here but I'll pledge to kill one or fewer pandas during my short stay on earth.
Remember, red pandas are not really pandas.
They are in fact the original panda. Giant pandas were named after them, in reference to them eating similar diets.
hm, well.. ok, i guess. Thanks!!
I just don't understand why you guys are like this! All year long it's all games and fun and cyberbullying, but the one time there's a real problem that i'm passionate about, you just turn your backs on me.
I just love how almond milk leaves a weird film on my tongue though
y-yeah...
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