Every time someone writes a mediocre fanfiction work, I do one pushup.
this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2026
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Every movie is real at once? Seems like a lot of rules are gonna be conflicting.
I allow you free reign to exercise artistic license in whatever capacity is necessary to reconcile the inconsistencies to your satisfaction, my friend.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruce_Almighty
Just accuse god of being lazy, and the use his power to take control of all existence.
Close the comment section, this is impossible to overcome
Bruce was only in control of Buffalo, NY, and he fucked it up pretty quickly
I become a sexy love interest for the protagonist(s). This gives me enough plot armor to become unstoppable.
You have to come in at least a few episodes/chapters after the protagonists adventure starts, though, otherwise you get reverse plot armor and are immediately murdered for character development.
I genetically engineer puppies that explode on their third birthday, give them out for free to the heroes and then strike during their moment of grief for an easy victory.
Alternatively, I wait untiã someone else cotquers the Universe and then use the exploding puppy trick on them.
I kill the protagonist in act 1 instead of letting them go.
Not being able to die for the next 10 installments of the series.
You know you're tough when the writers say so.
The only things a villain needs to do in order to be a badass in Movieland is to walk slowly and look menacing while uttering a memorable catchphrase.
That doesn't necessarily make them successful at their primary objective, since almost all Movieland villains lose eventually (they tend to leave their Plot Armor at home), but being remembered by the other residents forever is its own version of victory.
Unfortunately I'm not clever enough to have a good catchphrase, so I'm a minor henchman at best.
Train until my power level is over 20,000. Beat that Goku and Freeza
You just gonna act like Vegeta Prince of Saiyans ain't even there?
I would create a factory system for growing human babies that gave off pollution that made people sterile.
That sounds a pretty neat optimisation of the birth giving process. Might even solve some countries demographic issues!
Take a piss on Superman.
He could just be into that.
Get fucked by superman so everyone knows I can outlast his super magnum dong
Damn that's really badass though
I mean, obviously, just kill and/or subjugate all or most of the other villains. Doesn't need to be complicated.
Take one bite of an apple in every scene. A new apple every time.
I would make everyone in the world dissapear so I could finally have some peace and quiet
I'm not telling, they'll figure it out eventually.
why would I want to be a villian in the first place???
For access to the cooler wardrobe, obviously
You'll have to talk to the director about motivation, I only deal with casting and you signed the five-feature contract 🤷♂️
oh im an actor. thats different. I gotta think though. will try to get back.
You reach into your nostril, and pluck one nose hair without flinching.
you reach into your nemesis's nostril and grab a bundle and yank
First, I’m going to need a volcano.
My dumb joke answer was going to be that I would survive after having first resurrected John Wick's dog, returned it to him for a month, then killed it again, and second kidnapping Liam Neeson's Taken daughter again, but I like basically everyone else's answer in this thread much more anyway.
The Minecraft movie counts?
I turn on creative mode. Muhahahaha
The one who turns into a giant snake and then wins will be the greatest villain of all time since that otherwise never works. Doesn't count if you win first and then turn into a giant snake.
They would be nice. Nice villan. Who would just make friends. Everyone would consider them nice and friendly. Even villans would consider them a good guy they would trust and would never hurt them. But they would have hidden agenda all the time. Agenda would be so complex that noone would realize it untill it was too late. They would be considered the best person alive - maybe a politician, a savior, a saint... They would contribute, lead, volunteer...
I think betraying everyone and breaking those bonds and deep relationships would hurt people even more than the bad thing itself.
It would break people to the point they would stop even caring for the bad thing itself.
They would not care even for the closest to them and everyone would feel close to them. And the agenda should not be for the supposedly greater good, but for the "greater bad".
And for no reason. This person would have loving parents, life full of love and no hidden psihological issues. They would know love but just decided to not give a fuck about it.