this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2026
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badposting

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badposting is a comm where you post badly


This is not a !the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net alternative. This is not a !memes@hexbear.net alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.

Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?


Rules:

  1. Do not post good posts.
    • Unauthorized goodposting is to be punished in the manner of commenting the phrase "GOOD post" followed by an emoji that has not yet been used in the thread
    • Use an emoticon/kaomoji/rule-three-abiding ASCII art if the rations run out
  2. This is not a comm where you direct people to other people's bad posts. This is a comm where you post badly.
  3. This rule intentionally left blank.
  4. If you're struck for rule 3, skill issue, not allowed to complain about it.

Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get ~~better~~ worse material bozo

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[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 45 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago

I bet 1700s guys said buddy.

All 1700s guys were canadian construction workers

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 25 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Hey everybody welcome to post-badposting where we deconstruct the badposting scene and talk about it. Today i have some really special guests with me, I'll allow my guests the honor of doing a self introduction now

[–] KnilAdlez@hexbear.net 20 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Hey everyone I'm KnilAdlez, self-improvement guru, writer of 4 stroke Mengine: How to Perform your Best and Red Tips: Guide to Redline your Confidence and Beat off Insecurity and host of podcast "White Knuckle" Which provides the guides and instruction men need in today's world.

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

4 strokes? That's 3 more than me big guy

[–] KnilAdlez@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Well that's what the books all about, you know? Getting a grip on your life, squeezing those lemons, and pushing that lemonade until your opportunities grow.

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

Damn this mf just said sqeezing those lemons

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Sorry I had my mic off, shit, did you get any of that?

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 6 points 3 weeks ago

I honestly don't know because my headphones weren't working and i just kept talking anyway

[–] Biggay@hexbear.net 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

hi im biggay, the straightest guy you'll ever meet. but everyone who talks after me is gay as hell but thats also cool

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[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 22 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Can we pull that up on screen

[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] anotherspinelessdem@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 weeks ago

Cindy, the TV's leaking!

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago

Oh, i thought it was a command i have to quickly go change pants can you vamp for a sec

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Who is your daddy and what does he do?

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

He's a lovable stoner who helps people in recovery a couple days a week

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

Hell yeah dude hahaha

[–] ashenone@lemmy.ml 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What meal would you cook to try and beat Bobby Flay?

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] ashenone@lemmy.ml 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yea I bet if he's baked into a meat pie you could wipe the floor with him. Solid choice

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm a pretty competitive guy i win at any cost

[–] ashenone@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

If you can't beat em, eat em

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

I think i explicitly did both

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[–] Zoift@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] ashenone@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 weeks ago

Nomative determination

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[–] TUMBLE_BUS@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yo what if Matt Damon was gay and Chinese?

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago

Matt gay-hmong

It's not racist because I'm playing a role

[–] Super_Lumalo@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"Two normal guys with a crazy idea"

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 2 points 3 weeks ago

Normal guys? Where? I'll cut them

[–] DogThatWentGorp@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Okay real hours and LIKE I know this one might be CRAZY but we gotta do it for the internet, okay okay okay fmk: Scarlet Johanson, Christina Aguilera, Beyoncé.

Tough one right? CRAZZYYYY one. (I'm the crazy guy on the podcast 😂. WILDCARD ahahaha)

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago

Remember how eminem used to call her pristina gagilera?

[–] Snort_Owl@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Can I come on as a guest? I promise I won't say the most problematic shit ever

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I promise I won't say the most problematic shit ever

Then why even bother?

[–] Snort_Owl@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's code for promising to say the most problematic shit ever

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh I'm not a programmer i dont speak code sorry

[–] Snort_Owl@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed removed frothingfash removed removed removed removed removed removed frothingfash

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 6 points 3 weeks ago

Producer Dan cut that

"Fuck you I'm not doing that" -producer dan

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I just made a really funny face in the studio bit because this a text-based audio medium the listeners at home will just have to imagine it

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[–] the_robot_from_planet_danger@hexbear.net 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] StinkySocialist@lemmy.ml 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's crazy man, have you ever done DMT?

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No but i did do Salvia. It gave me pretty bad derealization for about a week. I really couldn't feel confident in anything being real after being told the trip was only 15 minutes in real time as i felt like i lived a whole life in that time.

Kinda like that ricky morty episode where they dl the videogame and the little guy comes out of it going all "where's my wife?" Haha

[–] StinkySocialist@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Whaaaat That's wild, what did you do in the other life? Do you have regrets?

Are you saying you married a mechanical Elf? Lol

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The other life, from what i remember about it as it happened like 14 years ago, was pretty abstract as everyone was a fleshy verticle line which i called stripes afterward. I just remember having interactions with other stripes and possibly relationships. It faded pretty quickly like a dream which contributed to the derealization as it felt so sudden to be sucked back into reality like that

[–] StinkySocialist@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 weeks ago

That sounds absolutely terrifying to come back from. I can see why you were worried nothing was real afterward.

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] TUMBLE_BUS@hexbear.net 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Have you seen the move Burt Chintus?

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

No cross talk

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