this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2026
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

RULES:

  1. Your post must be a screen capture of a microblog-type post that includes the UI of the site it came from, preferably also including the avatar and username of the original poster. Including relevant comments made to the original post is encouraged.
  2. Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
  3. You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
  4. Current politics and news are allowed, but discouraged. There MUST be some kind of human commentary/reaction included (either by the original poster or you). Just news articles or headlines will be deleted.
  5. Doctored posts/images and AI are allowed, but discouraged. You MUST indicate this in your post (even if you didn't originally know). If an image is found to be fabricated or edited in any way and it is not properly labeled, it will be deleted.
  6. Absolutely no NSFL content.
  7. Be nice. Don't take anything personally. Take political debates to the appropriate communities. Take personal disagreements & arguments to private messages.
  8. No advertising, brand promotion, or guerrilla marketing.

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[–] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 19 points 4 weeks ago

Arachnophobic vampires assemble!

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 15 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

I’ll let someone bite me if it means a date.

Hell, I let someone eat a limb; If we get to have sex.

God, I’m so lonely.

[–] GutterRat42@lemmy.world 12 points 4 weeks ago

And this, kids, is how praying mantises evolved

[–] Fluke@feddit.uk 9 points 4 weeks ago

From someone who knows; sex won't make you less lonely. Dispelling loneliness requires social connection, not a physical act easily performed without connection or satisfaction.

Hobby groups can be a good place to start, as can volunteering for community/collective projects. 💛

[–] lonefighter@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 weeks ago

I was in class today and we were practicing clinical scenarios with a mannequin patient and the instructor acting as the "patient's" wife. The instructor says "well I don't think he's had any abdominal surgeries, he doesn't have any scars or anything". I thought 'well how would you know if he has scars on his abdomen?' and then immediately realized I've been single way too fucking long.

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago

What's your spider situation?

[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 weeks ago

I prefer licking, but biting works, too.

[–] Jack@lemmy.ca 12 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Is it bad that the 1st thing I thought of was RFC 3339, the 2nd thing date palms, and only the 3rd thing was a person?

[–] pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 4 weeks ago

You are an evolved nerd

[–] kamee@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 weeks ago

Yes, I thought of ISO-8601

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 8 points 4 weeks ago

so many interpretations

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

English is just a stupid language...

Not the first joke about this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Venn/comments/pb3k85/excel_incel_and_me_eating_a_fig/

When I read things like this, I am suddenly very glad the language I use in my everyday life has very different words "Dattel" (the fruit), "Datum" (point on a calendar) and "Verabredung" (romantic meeting, though we also use the anglicism "Date" for this - and ONLY for this).

[–] evasive_chimpanzee@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Probably every language has homonyms.

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 4 weeks ago

Of course, this was in part joking, there are other similar jokes in German too...

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 7 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

Date, the fruit.

You have to check for maggots, actually.

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 3 points 4 weeks ago

Free protein

[–] MoffKalast@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago

Not the weirdest thing about modern dating.

[–] sepi@piefed.social 3 points 4 weeks ago

The answer is yes, you troglodyte

[–] kamen@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago

English is weird sometimes

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I'll admit, I didn't check for spiders last time I bit any of the people I was on my most recent date with

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 1 points 4 weeks ago

Meanwhile, in Australia...

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago

How many people were you on your most recent date with?

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] homik@slrpnk.net 2 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Does whatever spiders can.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago

Any size! Catches thieves just like flies.

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 0 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Great song, but I was referring to a slightly obscure version of spider man "spiders man". Essentially Spiderman is made up of millions of spiders crawling around in the suit, and are sentient. From one of those alternate storylines.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago

Oh, guess it should have been "Spin some webs?"

[–] AvaLord@gehirneimer.de 1 points 2 weeks ago

The world of modern dates sometimes seems strange and unpredictable, because everyone is looking for their own format of communication and sincere emotions. Funny situations and unexpected acquaintances make this process a special experience. The flick chat helps to find interesting interlocutors, freely share thoughts and find new friends. Treat the search for new acquaintances with ease and choose comfortable platforms for communication.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago

You'd be better off eating the spider.

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 weeks ago

Hate when the spiders get in my chronologies