this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2026
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

RULES:

  1. Your post must be a screen capture of a microblog-type post that includes the UI of the site it came from, preferably also including the avatar and username of the original poster. Including relevant comments made to the original post is encouraged.
  2. Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
  3. You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
  4. Current politics and news are allowed, but discouraged. There MUST be some kind of human commentary/reaction included (either by the original poster or you). Just news articles or headlines will be deleted.
  5. Doctored posts/images and AI are allowed, but discouraged. You MUST indicate this in your post (even if you didn't originally know). If an image is found to be fabricated or edited in any way and it is not properly labeled, it will be deleted.
  6. Absolutely no NSFL content.
  7. Be nice. Don't take anything personally. Take political debates to the appropriate communities. Take personal disagreements & arguments to private messages.
  8. No advertising, brand promotion, or guerrilla marketing.

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[–] kamen@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

English is weird sometimes

[–] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

Arachnophobic vampires assemble!

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 15 points 1 week ago (5 children)

I’ll let someone bite me if it means a date.

Hell, I let someone eat a limb; If we get to have sex.

God, I’m so lonely.

[–] GutterRat42@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago

And this, kids, is how praying mantises evolved

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

What's your spider situation?

[–] lonefighter@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

I was in class today and we were practicing clinical scenarios with a mannequin patient and the instructor acting as the "patient's" wife. The instructor says "well I don't think he's had any abdominal surgeries, he doesn't have any scars or anything". I thought 'well how would you know if he has scars on his abdomen?' and then immediately realized I've been single way too fucking long.

[–] Fluke@feddit.uk 9 points 1 week ago

From someone who knows; sex won't make you less lonely. Dispelling loneliness requires social connection, not a physical act easily performed without connection or satisfaction.

Hobby groups can be a good place to start, as can volunteering for community/collective projects. 💛

[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago

I prefer licking, but biting works, too.

[–] Jack@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Is it bad that the 1st thing I thought of was RFC 3339, the 2nd thing date palms, and only the 3rd thing was a person?

You are an evolved nerd

[–] kamee@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 week ago

Yes, I thought of ISO-8601

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

so many interpretations

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Date, the fruit.

You have to check for maggots, actually.

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 3 points 1 week ago

Free protein

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

English is just a stupid language...

Not the first joke about this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Venn/comments/pb3k85/excel_incel_and_me_eating_a_fig/

When I read things like this, I am suddenly very glad the language I use in my everyday life has very different words "Dattel" (the fruit), "Datum" (point on a calendar) and "Verabredung" (romantic meeting, though we also use the anglicism "Date" for this - and ONLY for this).

[–] evasive_chimpanzee@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Probably every language has homonyms.

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 week ago

Of course, this was in part joking, there are other similar jokes in German too...

[–] MoffKalast@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Not the weirdest thing about modern dating.

[–] sepi@piefed.social 3 points 1 week ago

The answer is yes, you troglodyte

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] homik@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Does whatever spiders can.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Any size! Catches thieves just like flies.

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Great song, but I was referring to a slightly obscure version of spider man "spiders man". Essentially Spiderman is made up of millions of spiders crawling around in the suit, and are sentient. From one of those alternate storylines.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Oh, guess it should have been "Spin some webs?"

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'll admit, I didn't check for spiders last time I bit any of the people I was on my most recent date with

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

How many people were you on your most recent date with?

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 1 points 1 week ago

Meanwhile, in Australia...

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 week ago

Hate when the spiders get in my chronologies

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

You'd be better off eating the spider.