I told you guys the hurricanes were a bad idea
this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2026
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What are the charges? Eating a dick?
A succulent Chinese dick?
This is what happens when Boomers retire; they have too much money and now also the time to do all of this BS lol
I mean you can put in your case whatever the fuck you want, which just means it gets thrown out.
Me versus all people named Agatha? No problem.
The whole 2015 article:
Sylvia Driskell, a 66-year-old woman from Auburn, Nebraska, filed a federal lawsuit last week titled Driskell v. Homosexuals. Driskell, acting as her own lawyer and the ambassador of “God, And His, Son Jesus Christ,” would like the District Court in Omaha to determine whether being gay is a sin. She did not cite any previous court cases in her petition, which is seven pages long and written in cursive, instead relying on the consul of Merriam-Webster and the Bible. Driskell asks, “Why are judges passing laws, so sinners can break religious, and moral laws. Will all the judges of this Nation, judge God to be a lier [sic].”
The civil-rights case has been assigned to Judge John M. Gerrard, and no summons have been issued. Many people around the country have been surprised to learn that they were being sued by some person they had never met in Nebraska.
Man, I hope I get deposed
— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) May 5, 2015
https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2015/05/66-year-old-nebraska-woman-sues-all-gay-people.html
Thankfully I think the gays are off the hook for this crime
https://docs.justia.com/cases/federal/district-courts/nebraska/nedce/8:2015cv00158/69317/5
my favorite part is where they explain that for her to claim that this is under the jurisdiction of a federal court, she would have to prove that there are no gay people who are citizens of the state of Nebraska
Possibly true. If neither she nor the judge are.
if I understand correctly, it's actually because she is. it explains that in order for a civil case to be under the jurisdiction of a federal court (and a civil case must be what she's attempting, since she doesn't cite any federal law to allege that the defendants have broken it), none of the plaintiffs can be citizens of the same state as any of the defendants. otherwise, presumably, it would fall under the jurisdiction of whichever state both parties are citizens of. so because both she and some gay people are Nebraskans, the case would have to be handled by a Nebraska state court, not a federal court
I was making a joke about there being like two people in Nebraska and here you are vomiting up law larp at me.
oh, yeah I didn't get that at all. good premise though, sounds like it woulda been funny
as a Catholic, what
as a Catholic
Why?
Why not? Let people do what they want. Catholicism has its issues but it's nowhere close to whatever the fuck american protestants or the other three billion denominations they came up with are doing.
For being so fabulous?
Protected Class Action Lawsuit
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Touched_by_an_Angel
This used to hit, if you were either stoned or just sitting, exhausted in the emergency room, waiting for news. Philosophy class was an excellent chaser for either situation
Wish we could sue churches that try to interfere with the fuckers who tax me.
Kirk Cameron is gonna be the prosecution in the movie version on this...
Omg I LOVED him in Shaving Ryan’s Privates
Standing? What harm has befallen you due to the existence of gay people? I think I'd watch this argument if it were a TV courtroom drama. Would be fascinating to see the plaintiff's lawyer try to argue this.
"Your honor. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. The existence of gay people has caused my client irreparable emotional distress. The constant thoughts of gay sex have plagued my client since adolescence. Thinking of men sucking other men's dicks. Women grinding pelvises together. Anal sex. Strap-on sex. Beards rubbing together in passionate moments. Boobies touching boobies. That's all my client has been able to think about since they learned of gay people when they were 12 at Bible camp."