this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2026
295 points (99.3% liked)

Programmer Humor

32884 readers
363 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 31 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] one_old_coder@piefed.social 82 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The verification can is something you drink though!

[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Eat verification Nutriloaf^®^

For Lemmy it's "verification beans" and you're not allowed to poop for three days.

[–] pewpew@feddit.it 50 points 1 week ago (4 children)

"Take a colonoscopy to verify your identity"

[–] AmyAye@nord.pub 12 points 1 week ago

Turns out its cancer, the person we want is a Sagitarius, let them go.

[–] riskable@programming.dev 9 points 1 week ago

ColoGuard does sound like an infosec tool 🤔

[–] dry_water@programming.dev 2 points 1 week ago

Nice one! Lol

[–] Strongbeard@programming.dev 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Drink a verification can."

[–] Serinus@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Idk, this seems hard for them to do while we own our own hardware.

[–] psud@aussie.zone 1 points 1 week ago

That's ok, they're working on fixing that

[–] Pretty_Critter@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 week ago

You are what you eat.

[–] mack@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Is this you logging in? Drink 4 gallons of petrol to prove you're not a bot"

[–] untorquer@quokk.au 5 points 1 week ago

It's floating witch rules. If you survive you're a bot.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Please drink verification can to continue

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

you know what you ate though

[–] percent@infosec.pub 2 points 1 week ago

and you are what you eat

[–] mercano@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] sbeak@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago

Then it's something you have after big tummy aches

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Please insert your fourth factor sensor probe to log into Uber eats

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago

User logged in.

Fried chicken detected in intestinal content.

Would you like to order again? Redeem the offer now for 30% discount at KFC.

[–] jerakor@startrek.website 5 points 1 week ago

YuzuKey flavored verification cans can keep you authenticated for 2 to 8 hours.

[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 week ago

Please, stop moving during the rectum scan, thanks

[–] darkangelazuarl@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Something you are is not a valid MFA either as it is unrevokable.

[–] OpenStars@discuss.online 4 points 1 week ago

Skill issue.

git guud

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Something you saw in a fever dream

From eating too many raw hot dogs, yes

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This tracks. If you think about it, any meal that might otherwise be the fourth method has transcended into being at least one of the other three.

[–] Manalith@midwest.social 2 points 1 week ago

But can you have your meal and eat it too?

Well why not

[–] oce@jlai.lu 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Once not only the internet traffic, but also real-life traffic becomes predominantly humanoid robots. You will need to ingest a pill probe to prove that you have a gut microbiot like only real animals do.