this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2026
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Greentext

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[–] schnokobaer@feddit.org 52 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

hire carpenter

they don't want to fix my carpets

???????

[–] caurvo@aussie.zone 8 points 5 days ago

My carpents, please they need fixing.

And if you have time the plumbs under the sink are leaking.

[–] Bombastic@sopuli.xyz 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

hire carpenter

they can't catch a carp to save their lives

????

[–] rapchee@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

no they make the carp enter YOU

[–] Nangijala@feddit.dk 3 points 3 days ago

Curry Barker neither barks nor is yellow. >:(

[–] BoneheadBruin@pawb.social 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

"Will Smith"

Won't

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 39 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Reminds me of this guy from Nazareth. Laziest carpenter evah, prolly broke more tables than he built. Finally he got nailed and thats why I received a new bicycle about 1986 years later.

[–] Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 4 hours ago

Reminds me of the bible quote where Nathanael said "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" and Jesus said "Yo, he's speaking the truth".

Nathanael said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Philip said to him, “Come and see.”

Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no deceit!”

[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I don't know how many tables he broke, but he sure broke some hearts. Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and marks any heart not tough or strong enough to take a lot of pain

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)

"Fuck this corporate bullshit" -Matthew 21:12-13

Not a 100% sure on the quote, been 40 years since Sunday school.

[–] Nollij@sopuli.xyz 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

For those too lazy to look it up:

12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’” (NIV)

Jesus: "Fuck this corporate bullshit!"

Disciple: "What on Earth is a corporation?"

Jesus: "Oh, you'll find out eventually. AND HOW THEY SUCK!"

[–] finalarbiter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 36 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Crazy how many folks out here with the name Smith have never even smacked a bit of metal with a hammer either.

[–] lauha@lemmy.world 23 points 5 days ago

And most of them aren't even dwarves. What a bunch of fakers.

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 4 points 5 days ago

I was wondering the other day if this is ever gonna change. Like Michael Schuhmacher Was a world famoud racing car driver. So is his son. Maybe his son will be a formula one driver as well. But their family is still named after some cobbler. Will there ever be a Thomas Racer or Paul Racist or something? How long do you have to go with a new profession before your name becomes ridiculous?

[–] ServantOfRa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 5 days ago

Singer is a SEWING MACHINE?

[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

She actually had a twitch channel back in 2023 centered around woodworking small office supplies (like pencil holders & the like), but all 103 episodes are lost media following a Mandela-effected reset.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

I have no idea if you're joking or serious. I'm hoping the latter, aside from the "lost media" part.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 5 days ago

Osama wasn't carrying any bins

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 10 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Good forbid a girl have hobbies

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 days ago

Wood forbid

[–] MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

Good forbid

[–] Famko@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago

Nominative determinists are in shambles :(

[–] sen@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 days ago

Fuck I thought she was an ant

John Fetterman, however, does keep the entire state of Pennsylvania in chains.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Doesn't she sell farts in a jar?

[–] TheGoldenGod@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I had a random guy on AOL pay me to do this when I was a teenager. He paid extra for my used underwear. I wish I was kidding about this…

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What did you do with the money

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I bought some other dude's used underwear. You gotta pay it forward

[–] MrKoyun@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

Passing the money around... I'm assuming everyone here would agree that hoarding wealth isn't good, no?

[–] WagnasT@piefed.world 1 points 5 days ago

I think Christina Perri sings about a Jar of Farts. Song is pretty dope tbh.

[–] SlothMama@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

Makes sense, Sabrina SINGER is a carpenter

[–] StillAlive@piefed.world 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I always get an uncanny valley feeling from her photos. 🤷‍♂️

Is that what you call it? Your uncanny valley?

[–] Lileath@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Could be because she is a creep?

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] Lileath@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

She asked a 16 year old boy if he was horny at her concert. Mind you, she ist 27 years old

[–] onnekas@sopuli.xyz 2 points 4 days ago

He most probably was horny. It's still creepy to ask though.

[–] reader@lemmy.zip 5 points 5 days ago

No, that's Karen Carpenter

[–] TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Well, she works with my wood ifyaknowwhati'msayn'

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 4 days ago

Username checks out

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 3 points 5 days ago

Hardly know er!

[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

carpenter ants

more like demolition ants

[–] wuffah@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

Judging by that dress, she’s a carpenter because she an excellent wood worker.