this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2026
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Naturally as I transition, I am thinking about what I should name myself.

So far:

Lilly - just like the ring of it.

Stella - really like this one. It means star in latin so thats cool, and I think it suits me.

Sophie - thinking about naming myself after the 1700s/1800s mathematician sophie germain. I'm obsessed with maths so it suits me on that level, but tbh I still like stella more.

Anyway, thats it!

-minty

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[–] Domi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

All cute, just know that any transfemme space you enter will have at least 3 other Lily's

[–] polysexualstick@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

And 1-2 Stellas aren't unlikely either

[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I really like Lilly :) just be aware that like 95% of trans girlies feel the same way haha

[–] minty@aussie.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago

I have heard that lool

[–] Kayday@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago
[–] Mighty@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The way I did it was just trying a name in a small circle of friends for a while and then introducing it in the workplace. I feel like I only knew if my name suited me was hearing other people say it and "trying it on"

[–] minty@aussie.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago

Ah yeah. I reckon I'll try that

Welcome to the "chose or considered the name Lilly" club <3 To be fair, it's a very pretty name, and very feminine :3

Stella is a really pretty one! I'm an outer-space enjoyer, so I might be a bit biased, though :p (Also, "stella" is the word for "star" not just in Latin, but also Italian and Interlingua).

Sophie is really cute, and it's cool to have lore about your name; it makes for good conversation starters. I think it's another Transfemme Classic™? I never considered it though, so I'm not certain lol

Ultimately, only you can actually decide. Have fun with your name-choosing! <3

[–] VivianRixia@piefed.social 7 points 2 weeks ago

i like the story behind why you like Sophie. But it sounds like you like Stella more and in the end that's what matters most.

[–] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

What are your physical characteristics? I like the name Wren, but I'd never use it for myself because wrens are tiny and I'm more of an ostrich. I also like the name Laila but wouldn't use it for myself because it's not really appropriate for a blonde blue eyed person.

Lilly is a good solid trans name, my association is with Lili Elbe. Unfortunately she died from infection due to an attempted uterus transplant.

Stella I associate with domestic abuse and Belgian pilsner. Nice meaning but the beer is actually referred to as "wife beater" in Britain and I think that association would be a deal breaker for me personally.

Sophie's choice... Probably also my choice

Another thing to consider is what is most fitting for a woman of your age and nationality? Like Erin is very popular in Britain now, but would be very strange for a woman of my age.

I overthink everything. Sorry 😔

[–] strawberry_enjoyer42@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

There are two kinds of transfemmes:

  1. Those who choose a sensible name that suits their demographic (age, location, physical characteristics, etc.)

  2. Those who just choose a completely random/unique/non-standard name (me) :3

[–] echedeylr@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago

Mine is a mix of both: Echedelle.

Is a derivative of an aboriginal name (my a feminization of my deadname) with 2 easter eggs and a lewd reference on it (in spanish).

[–] minty@aussie.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago

Wow that stella association is intense.

Yeah i'll have a think which name also suits me in terms of age/nationality etc. Laila is a solid name

Also your all good :)

[–] birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

RE Lili Elbe, it's moreso that she died due to immunosuppressors not being a thing yet at the time. Those became a thing multiple decades after her death, iirc.

[–] ada@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

There are virtually no Ada's my age. They're all 30 years younger than me or 30 years older than me. And my birth name was genuinely one of a kind.

I think that sort of thing is worth thinking about, but it's not something worth giving too much consideration, because you're the one that has to live with it and other people just don't care that much.

[–] FRYD@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I named myself after the street I grew up on lol

As a fellow star girlie, I like Stella. I was gonna pick Shelly for myself, but it’s a kinda old and rare name now like Stella and I didn’t want to be such a typical tgirl with an antiquated name.

[–] Nikki@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

this is a good idea I should name myself state highway x

[–] FRYD@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Damn your house was just on a highway?

[–] Nikki@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago

yup it was very loud

There is an astronomy themed district in the town I live in. All the roads have names like star road, Sirius road, Saturn road, etc. Its just south of the district where all the roads are geology themed names and north of the district where all the roads have plant based names.

[–] nimble@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago

Hi Lilly, i like how you took the time to give us a little bit of details on each name candidate. When I'm talking to you Stella, which one of the names feels right? Sophie do you think one name stands out amongst the rest? 🙂

[–] dressedandconfused@mtgzone.com 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It seems like you like Stella the most out of those three 😁 If you don't want to try it with people just yet, you can play around with this website

[–] minty@aussie.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago

Now thats a cute website :)

[–] Bryllyg@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago

There is a scene in a play called Streetcar Named Desire which was made famous in the movie version with Marlon Brando as he yells "STELLAAaaaaa".

I dont want to scare you off from that name but it is something to prepare for. I spent way too much time trying to figure out how many ways i could be bullied by the name i chose but it is not a requirement. Stella is a solid name choice!

I love all three names. Personally i would go with Sophie because thats the name of the artist that performs as Soccer Mommy. :)

Good luck on your name picking journey! Try using the names you want to pick up things from stores etc so you can see it / hear someone else saying it. I had limited success doing this at coffee places for example.

I don't think we can give you constructive feedback without knowing you a lot better. But here's what I did to figure out mine, and maybe you can extract some ideas.

I made a list of names I came up with which has a nice ring to them. Not too much pre-filtering, just brain storming. Then searched online for popular names in my generation & region, as well as currently popular baby names (though as you probably know, some names just sound weird or make you stick out of they are strongly associated with a different age). The online name lists helped me to not miss a great opportunity just because I didn't think of it. As I like mythological names, I added some of those to the list, just like you might add some personal idols. Next I went through the list and crossed off any that I couldn't really consider claiming for myself ("Luna? Nah I'm too old for that. Stella? Great but feels too pretty for me. Sophie? Mmmaybe, yeah that could work.")

Next is some playing around, imagining being called that way or writing/taking about yourself (note: personally, I found the experience of actually having others call me by a new name when I didn't anticipate it very different from what I imagined). Online tools like the one suggested by @dressedandconfused@mtgzone.com can help.

[–] TechieDamien@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 weeks ago

Your name is deeply personal, do I won't say any one or another, as the best name is the name you choose. To help you choose I will ask a few questions for you to answer for yourself (you don't need to tell us the answers if you don't want to, they are to help guide you):

  • Do you want to keep the first letter of your deadname? (Can make some admin easier, and less likely to cause dysphoria from seeing old initials)
  • Do you want a more unique name or a more common name?
  • Do you want a personal story behind your name choice?
  • Do you want (or want to avoid) stereotypical transfemme names?
  • Do you care about how it flows phonetically into your surname (if you are keeping it)?

Then, once you have your list, ask trusted friends or family to try calling you by these names and see what you prefer. Note that if you are not out to them yet, you can do the classic move of playing a DND character with your proposed name.

Good luck and enjoy the journey!

[–] Shirow@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 weeks ago

Join the lilies. ( I'm not based at all ≽^•⩊•^≼)

Well I chose Emily, but lot of people call me Lily :3 Anyway just choose what makes you happy ☺️

[–] applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago

might steal sophie for my candidate list. its a cute name.

[–] Nikki@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago

stealing this so I have more names for my blahaj

i love Sophie personally

[–] OryxAndCake@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 week ago

I think Stella is so pretty, be a Stella!

[–] irotsoma@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago

Love them all. I chose names that let me keep my initials (and kind of my signature since only the first letter is recognizable these days anyway, lol) The first name was also the name of someone who was very special to me a long time ago. It's more common of a name than I probably would have chosen if it wasn't for that person, but I chose a shortened version for a nickname that is rare and as a standalone name has both masc and femme uses in different cultures that do use it. I'm internally agender though I present feminine, have feminine parts now, and prefer to be treated as a woman. So it works well for me.

[–] Fisherswamp@programming.dev 1 points 2 weeks ago

Idk what you look like but just going off vibes, Lilly is a great name so I say that one