this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] fulcrummed@lemmy.world 36 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I read the heading and thought you were posting sugar-free Haribo gummy bears.

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Mother of God I tried them when I went Keto, I was a reverse fountain for a day... Sugar alcohol does not agree w/ my system.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

It doesn't agree with anyone's microbiome. They should not be sold.

[–] fraksken@infosec.pub 1 points 1 week ago (9 children)

Ok, I know this and that, but this? Can you please provide some context?

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

Go on Amazon and read some of the reviews for them. People describe the effects in very graphic detail.

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[–] voidsignal@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

There are even some that come without the fucking plastic, I ear

[–] troglodytis@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] whereitsat@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 week ago (8 children)

think about how many industries and personalities are propped up because america conceal sthe simple reality of losing weight: a calorie deficit. like, so much wealth depends on people not being able to comprehend obvious text on the back of a package.

[–] Cease@mander.xyz 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The reality is the majority of all healthy food in the US is gated behind high prices, forcing the average/low income consumer into eat foods high in large amounts of globally banned dyes and syrups, which results in massive weight gain unless you buy into the weight loss meds, unless you want to do something crazy like eat beans and rice for every meal.

this + all the hostile city planning preventing you from walking anywhere means that it's both very easy to gain weight and very hard to lose it once you have it

Anyway, this is a harder problem to solve than dumb gotchas like "why don't americans just exercise more, why don't americans just calorie watch"

Vegetables are not that “gated.” Processed foods that are “health washed” are gated, the stuff that’s in the health food sections or organic sections of stores. The problem is with fresh food is that it cannot always be consumed before spoiling, and waste is painful if you’re poor, processed foods are quick and easy when you’re working 2-3 jobs and are shelf stable for much longer periods, and on top of that people just don’t always learn how to cook fresh or do things like meal prep for a week. The time just isn’t there.

Yeah, the shopping access part is true. I frequently make 2-3 trips to the store for meals in a week thanks to close-by stores and the convenience of a vehicle. If you’re poor and maybe have to take public transportation (in the US) it makes groceries a whole other chore you don’t have time for.

[–] HerbGrower@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

The reality is the majority of all healthy food in the US is gated behind high prices

Seems so odd to me, here in the UK some of the cheapest foods are things like carrots, potatoes, beans, oats. Things that people should be eating more of.

Don't have enough time is the next excuse I hear. I just made lunch in seconds by combining the free milk at work with some roughly ground oats. Along with some dried fruit. Incredibly cheap meal and takes far less time than walking to the McDonalds across the road to order a burger. Don't like milk? Use water, I only use milk because its free and cold. Cold lunch is nice at this time of year.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So you have a place to store that food? Yeah - when I worked retail we had a fridge and a cabinet in the breakroom, but there were 200 people working in that building all having to share a single fridge and cabinet, which means they effectively didn't exist.

But there were a couple fast food places in the parking lot.

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[–] mirshafie@europe.pub 3 points 1 week ago

Yeah but just eating less processed foods, more vegetables and never drink your calories will get you a very long way even if you eat the same number of calories.

Also walk instead of drive.

[–] CyberTheProtogen@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 week ago (3 children)

It’s also incredibly important to remember that not eating anything at all will trigger your body to turn your proteins and muscles into fat in attempt to help you survive longer. Do not just not eat for a day or few. I have a friend who tried that. Didn’t work.

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[–] TachyonTele_Esq@piefed.social 9 points 1 week ago

Sit on the throne with ceaser salad

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Alternatively, just use your finger to flick the dangly thing in the back of your throat.

[–] earlgrey0@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Hey now! That ruins your teeth and breath. Better to evacuate via the other exit!

[–] sickday@fedia.io 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

How deep do i have to go to get to the dangly thing in the back of the butt??

[–] earlgrey0@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

According to my high quality anime based anatomy texts, it should be a straight shot from booty to tonsils!

[–] fulcrummed@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

It requires use of tentacles though.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I'm no proctologist, but I bet that, if you practice your squatting and get one of those long shoehorns for people who can't/won't bend down much, you can REALLY get far in there.

It's probably not very good for your insides but I'm no gastroenterologist, so can't say for sure 🤷🏻

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What the hell kind of ologist are you then?

Procrastinologist

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I don't know, but I never want to find out.

[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But that ruins your ass's breath!

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[–] cowfodder@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago

Doesn't work on your mom.

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

The inception of shit posts. Now I need ladders, fireman and pizza delivery...

Oh and a shepherd.

Do do doot doot doot bahhh

[–] RePsyche@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

As anti-fascist memes go, this is merciless. Keep up the good work!

[–] Syndication@lemmy.today 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Uhh maybe I'm just sleep deprived, but what's Ozempic and salad gotta do with anti-fascism?

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Nah, it's the comment you're answering being coherence deprived 😄

At best, they're tying the rampant deregulation that increased the likelihood of foodborne illness like this one to fascism, but that's been a regular GOP thing since Reagan, the OG Neoliberal of the Americas 🤷🏻

[–] Syndication@lemmy.today 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ah okay lol that makes me feel a bit less crazy now, thanks!

You're very welcome 😁

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 week ago

Sir, this is a Lemmy.

[–] newton@feddit.online 3 points 1 week ago

Only 99,96 $ this week at your local seller

[–] switcheroo@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Not sure if there's truth to it or not, but apparently TF knew there was a problem a while before anything was brought up by the public. TF is a Dump supporter, so probably gave a big donation to stave off any lawsuits.

[–] bridgeburner@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

US now literally a shit country lol, no denying anymore

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago

Now THAT'S what I call a shitpost!

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago

Does it include explosive diarrhea? If not, then I'm not interested.

[–] 87Six@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 week ago

I'm glad lemmy hasn't lost it with weight loss just like reddit

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

I can feel the shit exploding from this post.

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